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Kids don't want another sibling

(9 Posts)
ayesar Wed 06-Apr-16 03:39:16

Whenever I ask my kids, who are almost 5 and 3, if they want another sibling, they always say no. They say they don't want a baby, brother or sister. They want a dog.

Most people I know say that their kids wanted another sibling and were so excited to have one. Does this mean that I shouldn't think about a third? My kids obviously would not welcome the idea.

nooka Wed 06-Apr-16 03:56:17

My children also never had any interest in having a sibling. Maybe because they are close in age (16mth gap). As dh and I didn't want any more there wasn't really any conflict, but in general small children should not be making family decisions. If you want another child that should be your choice. If you do go for it you have nine months to get them used to the idea smile

StarlingBirdsong Wed 06-Apr-16 10:07:19

This is why we didn't ask the existing DC if they wanted a sibling, we just presented it as fact after DC4's 20 week scan.
"Guess what everyone? We're going to have a new baby in the house soon, isn't that exciting?"
Children don't get a say in adult decisions. Stop asking the kids about it. decided with DH/P if you are having another or not.
Our DC were 6 and 4 when DC4 arrived and they are all totally in love with her and dote on her.
Even if you fell pregnant today, that is 9 months before the DC have to deal with a baby, so if you and DH haven't even talked about it yet it could be over a year away.

ayesar Wed 06-Apr-16 14:38:45

I agree with you all that the kids shouldn't make the decision. If we decide to have another then it will be based on what we want. I guess it just makes me sad whenever they say things like that. I was pregnant a few months ago and it ended in miscarriage at 11weeks. So they knew there was a baby in mummys tummy. Once in a while they ask if the baby is still in my tummy and I say no. Then I ask them if they would like another baby to be in my tummy or if they want a baby brother or sister to play with and they say no. Even if we don't have any more children I think I would feel better if they said they would like another sibling lol.

Needmorechocolate Wed 06-Apr-16 20:17:16

I agree that the kids don't make the decision but completely understand that you want your children to be happy about any choice you make. Could it be that their feelings are being influenced by the fact that your last pregnancy sadly ended in miscarriage? Your DC are still quite young and so don't really understand it all. They may just think that mummy having a baby in her tummy made her sad last time and so they don't want that again. As other posters have said, you have at least 9 months for them to adapt to the idea and I am sure they would love a new sibling once he/she arrived.

cavedescreux Sun 10-Apr-16 12:34:00

Your kids are 3 and 4. They aren't old enough to have a reasoned position on this. I agree with the pp who says to present them with an announcement. They will come round.

CazM2012 Tue 12-Apr-16 13:26:02

I have 3, both later pregnancies my daughter wanted a puppy, we just made a joke of it, anyone asked what we were having, it was a puppy according to her. She loves her siblings and would only occasionally want to swap them for a puppy!

ayesar Tue 12-Apr-16 20:39:55

Thank you all for your replies. Seeing that if I did have another child there would be an age gap of around 4-5 years between my youngest and the baby, do you think the gap is too big? I just don't want my eldest 2 to be together all the time and the little one to be left out. What's the point of having another if there is no one for him/her to play with. And I don't want my kids to feel like all of the attention is now being spent on the baby, which would mess up the dynamics at home. What do you all think?

jamtartandcustard Thu 14-Apr-16 14:58:08

My daughter didn't want another sibling. She was 11 when I had dc4, saying it didn't go down very well is an understatement (imagine a 2year olds worst tantrum then multiply that by 5 and a child almost as tall as you and blooming hormonal and you get the idea). In fact the day he was born she wouldn't talk to us, wouldn't look at us. Hated us. By the time dc4 was 36hours old she was giving him cuddles and fell in love with him.
As for the age gap, well I had 5urs, 3yrs then 4yrs between mine. 3 was the hardest by far! Big gaps are great for your sanity and mine all get on well

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