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getting ready without shouting ???!!!

(7 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Thu 10-Mar-16 07:22:50

I try to chilled methods, fun, structured, routine, no routine. It all! We have a five, three and a half, two year old and I'm due in four weeks with number four.

Life has been so stressful since having a school run and I'd love to know how to get back to being a chilled mum of almost four.

My expectations are real, sometimes I think ohhhhhh why don't they listen. They are still so small butRr I'd love to know how to get them ready. Without shouting.

DrAmandaBentley Thu 10-Mar-16 08:58:19

I'm not expert as I spend many days shouting, but find that routine helps a bit. I have 3 (10,6,2 expecting #4), and try first of all to make sure they're in bed as early as possible (8:30 latest), and to do that we start winding down about an hour before where I remove all electronics and make them do their teeth etc. I also send them to bed in a staggered manner (youngest first), to stop them from talking to each other. But mine are a bit older and have a bad habit of keeping each other awake.

Then we wake up at 7am. They eat breakfast, washed, dressed etc. and we're out the door by 8:30. I usually get ready while they are eating. Until they are fully dressed and ready to go they are not allowed to have the TV on, and games, tablets phones etc are forbidden until they come home.

Sometimes it helps to have everything prepared the night before, in terms of laying out clothes and whatnot. I also try to have the washing up done the evening before, so I'm not searching for 'special spoons, or "my bowl". In my case they each have their own separate drawers or bags which contain (individually) socks, pants & vests, school uniform, pyjamas, and civilian clothes are hung in the wardrobe. That way they can go to their own drawers and select what they need to put on. I've been training them to do this since they were very young, and it makes it easier for me to not have to run about after them so much looking for things. There's also a shoe rack in the hallway with the shoes they wear during the week, that they put away as soon as they get home. That has eliminated the "where's my shoe" last minute panic.

All in all you just have to find a routine that suits you, and be rigid about sticking to it. Now my lot are used to us doing things at certain times they automatically follow the routine. And there is a lot less chaos and a bit less shouting grin

lljkk Thu 10-Mar-16 10:56:36

Ah... you asked on other thread, too. I have 4 DC.

Do you mean they don't listen or they don't do as you ask?
What happens if they don't do as you ask? Why should they be motivated?
Insist that they often have to do things they don't want to do, such is life.

Morning school run was horrible for me for yrs, too. I had to come home & rest afterwards. So I completely empathise. I'm afraid it only got a lot better when I got down to only youngest at primary.

My role model is a mom who ticks 15 boxes MNers dislike, but she's unflappable & organises her household & 7 children like a military machine.

Little helps:

Do everything I can night before, lunches packed on pushchair night before, even.
No TV before school.
I had a schedule, certain things had to be done by X time, I did not stop moving if we were falling behind schedule.
I operated an equal opportunity crying policy: if everyone was miserable by the time we got out door, then so be it.
Aim to leave 20 minutes early.
Concentrate on one kid at a time, and on the only kids who matter. Sounds like the only one you have to get ready for school is the 5yo & the others can go up there in PJs, barely awake, & with no breakfast.

There's a mom (of 4) at our school who is routinely 5 minutes late, and has been very reliably 5-7 minutes late for yrs. She lives 4 minute walk away from school. I kind of admire her brass...

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 10-Mar-16 11:08:53

Chilled Mum of Four. Does not compute sorry grin

Be super organised. Recognise that you have 3 rising 4 very young children and there is going to be a certain amount of repetition shouting daily in order to get things done.

Don't buy a cat or a dog if they will need to sleep in the kitchen. That way you can lay the table for breakfast the night before.

lljkk Thu 10-Mar-16 11:35:29

Another tactic for "not listening"

get eye contact
get them to repeat back to you what you asked for
(if no action) ask why aren't they doing it yet

Can be very kind but very firm in doing all that

Focus on the kid who most needs to get doing, rather than trying to herd the cats manage them as a group.

Tsotofamily Thu 10-Mar-16 11:43:09

I have 3 (9, 8 and 4) also expecting no.4. I agree with getting everything ready the night before, lunches, uniforms out, bags packed with stuff they might need for activities that day. My youngest is at playgroup that starts at 930 so if she's not dressed or fed by time we do school run then I just concentrate on her when we get back.

backinpurple Thu 10-Mar-16 21:30:00

I do a lot of what lljkk does. My role model is a mom who ticks 15 boxes MNers dislike, but she's unflappable & organises her household & 7 children like a military machine. Who is this lady and what are the 15 things about her that MNers dislike?? she sounds great!

Do you walk or drive your school run?

My things that help/ed are:

showering and eating breakfast before most of them get up, I'm an early riser even if it kills me (which it did when DC4 was newborn) but it's worth it as I am more awake after I have showered and less grumpy if I have eaten

only 2, very max 3 choices for breakfast every day, toast, pancakes and other things are saved for the weekend

no breakfast until they are dressed, including shoes and socks. I put an apron over the school uniform. I often did the school run with the baby in his baby grow and didn't care as he was hidden in his sling...being on time was more important

didn't stress over teeth cleaning before school in the early days

had enough uniform for a weeks worth of school for each child, racked it all up ready on a Sunday night (you don't need to do this forever). At one point I had enough of my own clothes to last an entire week too

have a shoe bucket by the front door, all the shoes get thrown in on the way through the door and are there in the morning when you need them

yes to aiming to be out of the door 20 minuets early

do the bare minimum required for school dress up days

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