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Pregnant with #4 but already struggling

(13 Posts)
Havetobecrazytolivehere Sun 21-Feb-16 08:25:31

Hi, I've posted a thread before procrastinating on whether to have another, DH constantly changing his mind etc and got some good advice on things to consider. I fell pg last Oct but then it felt like a bad idea and I then had an mc which actually made me and DH realise that we did really want a baby.

Now I am pg again and aside from being terrified of another mc I am panicking inside because although I daren't tempt fate I have no idea how we will manage with 4dcs. DH is not on a great salary for what he does but doesn't want to move jobs and I would rather he was happy where he worked so wouldn't ask him to. I am a childminder but find work can be quite patchy depending on the time of year - so worried about finances.
Also really worried as I don't feel like I'm coping very well, I'm rubbish at housework and a bit of a hoarder so house easily falls into disarray, my dcs are between 23mths and 6yrs and seem to run rings around me, I always end up shouting by bed time then feel awful.

I really need to sort myself out and get a handle on things now as I know I used to be better at this a few years ago, I just feel overwhelmed and I think I was more motivated when I was working (used to work in IT before dc2).
What the hell is wrong with me?

Sorry for long post, thanks for reading.

Tsotofamily Mon 22-Feb-16 11:02:26

Hi hun

I am also expecting no.4. Mine are 9, 7 and 4. I would say routine is the way forward, give the children chores even if it's just little things it all helps, but hun you have 3 children all at young ages the house is never going to be spotless when there around lol. I am much more laid back when it comes to housework now afer losing my step sister, Life is to short and the housework can always wait until tomo plus let's face t once you've done it, it's going to be messy again it 5 mins wink. Aim to do one room a day and anything else youan age to get done is a bonus xxx

Needmorechocolate Mon 22-Feb-16 21:28:40

I have 4 children aged 6mths, 2, 4 and 6. I actually found the pregnancy bit the hardest with number 4 and it is actually easier now he is here (so far!). I had all the same feelings as you. Your hormones are all over the place at the moment, you are tired etc and you are still having to deal with 3 other young children whilst your body is so hard at work growing your next little one!. Be a bit kinder to yourself, you are doing a great job with three and I'm sure number four will just fit in (they don't have a choice!). Yes there will be things that you may have done differently a few years ago but that's not a bad thing and our priorities change.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

Afreshstartplease Tue 23-Feb-16 20:42:02

I'm expecting DC4 too

Think I'm about 6weeks 4 days

So tired

Housework mounting up, feel like I need to cut hours at work already

DC are 2, 6 and 8

Tsotofamily Tue 23-Feb-16 21:05:02

Congratulations. I was exactly like that at the beginning and all I felt like I done was sleep. What do you do job wise?

Butterfliesprettybutterflies Tue 23-Feb-16 21:20:01

I could have written your post! I'm nearly 20 weeks with number 4 and mine are (just) 2, 3 and 6 and I have had quite a few moments where I've got totally overwhelmed with how it's going to work with 4! But I found once I was out of the first trimester and got a bit more energy back, it didn't seem so bad!
My theory is that the baby will be portable for the first year so will just have to fit in with the rest of us! It's the toddler years that are harder but by the time the baby is there, the toddlers will be older.
I'm definitely working on routines and habits at the moment - and giving the oldest a bit more responsibility for himself. It will work because it has to! Not much choice now anyhow! Hopefully you'll feel a bit more in control when you're further along.

Havetobecrazytolivehere Wed 24-Feb-16 03:32:14

Thanks for the replies ladies. You'll laugh at this but I am a childminder!

I try to keep all the downstairs rooms as tidy and clean as possible as I use them for work. Obviously they get quite messy during the day but it's only toys and craft stuff which I can tidy away once my lo's have gone home.
I have already cut my hours so only doing part time (not working after school) but I did work full time all the way through my last pregnancy, feel a lot more frazzled this time. Up now because I went to bed at 8pm last night.

Have also started getting my older two to get dressed by themselves and get their own breakfast, I just put everything on the table, so I can get my youngest dressed and have time to eat breakfast.

Have only told a few people so far but already getting negative comments, have no family support and DH works long hours/often has to do overtime so feel a bit alone at times.
I'm 7+3 today so a long way to go yet, know I will be okay once baby is here, I guess it's just the extra worry and all the hormones making me doubt myself.

BeautifulLiar Wed 24-Feb-16 03:55:24

Hey! I'm pregnant with DC4, already got a 7 year old, 4 yo and 3yo. I'm due in 13 days. My DH also works long hours, sometimes away for a couple of weeks, for not a huge amount of money (do you get tax credits?).

Life was horrible when I was 7+3! Things are much more organised now (and I don't work! You're doing great) x

Havetobecrazytolivehere Wed 24-Feb-16 11:01:30

We earn't too much last year to get any tax credits as DH has a company car so they add that onto his earnings. Does anybody know what the threshold is for four children? Haven't earnt much this year so hoping we might be under threshold this time, I think it is 39k for 3 children.
Not sure if I will manage to work full time with 4 kids.

BeautifulLiar Wed 24-Feb-16 13:42:28

Ahhh right, my DH earnt 23,000 last year, but that was plenty for us somehow! I don't know about the thresholds but with all the changes and limits coming in I wouldn't count on any help sad

shutupandshop Wed 24-Feb-16 13:46:47

Congratulations from #team4grin

It will all work out. Yes its hard having 4 but you have done it 3 tomes already. And its so worth it. My dc4 is lying on me watching batman, hes 3.

shutupandshop Wed 24-Feb-16 13:49:58

Mine were 10, 7 and 3 when ds was born

littleraysofsunshine Sat 27-Feb-16 17:39:28

Feel the same here. 34weeks with number four, have a 5, 3.5 & 2yo. I feel so guilty all the time.

Currently have spd and anaemia so feeling so weak. Today I've felt like such a boring mum. I have no energy to make conversation, be fun or motivate myself.


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