Bedroom sharing dilemma(11 Posts)
Hello, just needing a but of advice, I am currently in the process of moving house and at the moment my two eldest boys (17,13) share a room and the two younger boys (11,6) have bunks in another room. New house has 3 bedrooms one very large double, average double (mine!) and a single room. My eldest son who is at college and has a girlfriend has asked for the single room,and I do think at his age he should have it! However my stroppy 13 year old is deeply offended by this and practically hates me! The big room can easily fit the bunks and a single bed plus my 13 year olds desk (which is his joy) and clothes storage isn't a problem due to a walk in wardrobe.
By October '17 my ds1 will hopefully leave for uni and my Ds2 will have his room, whilst when he returns in breaks he will just bunk down with ds3&4. It makes sense but I am just struggling to make my ds2 understand.
Just wondering who else's children share 3 to a room, and how do you try to keep a bit of space/privacy for them ?
The difficulty underlying this could be that he feels that he is moving from the 'older' room to the 'babies' room... 13 is an age when you want to be growing up, not pushed back with your younger siblings...
If you could address that in other ways would that help?
I shared a room with my brother when I was younger and they put up a partitioned wall but before that we had wardrobe put alongside.each other to split the room in two
As for explaining it to ds2 just sit him down and tell him the plan, he's old enough to understand and he has to compromise somewhere and I think having to share a room till Oct isn't bad. It will fly by
I agree with akkakk that this is feeling like a demotion to ds2.
Is the big bedroom big enough to have 2 sets of bunk beds in and put all 4 of them in there (possibly with a divider so there is an "older" and "younger" side) and have the single room as communal non-sleeping space (a couple of desks for homework and some bean bags?)
Yes, its a dilemma. Fish has made an interesting suggestion, it might work. I had 3 DC ( eight years between eldest and youngest) sharing a sleeping room in order to enable the elder 2 to have a ' games room'. It worked for about a year, eventually they reverted to a more traditional arrangement.
My first thought for you was for the boys to go 2 in each double room and you to have the single room. Don't know if that's a realistic option.
How does the 13 year old think it should be organized? Is there some inducement you can offer him so that he would be happier sharing with the younger ones - personally I think your initial plan does sound practical, so your solution might be to find a way to smooth 13 year old ruffled feathers!
Ask him outright, there may be some other privilege that makes worth his while to compromise.
I have to ask seeing as you mention her, is the idea that your 17 year old will have privacy with his girlfriend in his own room?!
Are you a lone parent or a couple? I ask because if you are on your own, in your position I would take the smallest room, let your 2 eldest have the largest room with a partition and youngest 2 have the middle room.
As for the privacy due to the girlfriend issue, that is up to you and your house rules. I personally would never allow a girlfriend/boyfriend stay over as I was never allowed whilst I lives with my parents, and therefore not a reason to have an own bedroom, but I understand each home has its own opinions on the issue so that is up to you
I would take the single for yourself, then half both doubles with two in each as usual
My DS and DD share at their dad's. They have a kind of moveable dividing wall - a bit like you get in some open plan offices, that gives them both a bit of privacy. They've complained much less about being kept awake by the other one's light or phone since they've had it.
I guess I'd try to encourage your DS2 to see it as a temporary share with the younger ones, and the deal is he'll get his own room in a year and a half. Your DS3 will presumably have to wait a good deal longer before he gets a room of his own, so you could point that out to DS2.
Your 17 year old is not an adult it makes no sense that he has his own room while he three brothers share.
I have 4 girls sharing in 2 bunks, it seems to work for us!
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