Hi, i am a 35 yr old mother of 3; dd1 6, ds 4 and dd2 17mths.
When dd1 came along I wasn't sure about being a mom but had always said I wanted 3 children and my DH has always agreed no more than 3.
I have really loved becoming a mom and am so much happier in my life, so much so that I left my job and became a childminder after my second so I could be at home with them (or I had already reached crazy by that point).
We debated over #3 for ages but as it turned out I was already pregnant before we made up our minds. Still I knew she was going to be my last, right up to the point I gave birth! I have been wanting number 4 since the day she was born and have been hoping the feelings might go away over time but they haven't and I'm now at the point where I can't stop thinking about it.
My husband is an engineer and earn 39k a year (with car allowance, it's about 36k without). I don't make much as a CM as it depends how busy I am but can be £500 - £1000 per month. We already live in a 4 bedroomed house and are thinking about a loft conversion as we have some savings but will need a bigger car.
So why am I so worried? I don't know anyone with 4 so have no idea how much it might cost especially as they get older, will it be too much for me? Will it financially cripple us, or will my kids have to go without as they get older? Once they are all in school I will be doing teacher training but that won't be for some time.
DH was a bit shocked when I told him, he is happy with 3 but won't have the snip either. He has said he will think about it, but suspect he will agree.
Sorry this is so long. Can anyone help? I really don't know if this is a stupid idea and not sure how to weigh up money, pros/cons etc. think I will regret it if I don't have number 4 but worried I am being selfish and not putting my family first. I feel so lucky to have my children and to get so much time with them (obs my house is a crazy, noisy, sticky child filled bin of plastic toys and I am knackered but can't imagine it any other way!).
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Can I really have another or am I kidding myself?
16 replies
Havetobecrazytolivehere · 12/08/2015 16:01
OP posts:
ConfusedInBath ·
14/08/2015 10:07
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