Help me make a big family!!!(13 Posts)
I have two babies, 3&3months.
I really want more 4or5 but how do we do it? (Not the hanky panky, I can work that out)
We live in a three bedroom house.
Both work full time bring home about £2,800 a month between us.
How do you guys afford it? Childcare costs? Living costs? Cars?
I'd quite happily start trying again however I need advice first please xxxx
I can't afford it because of the costs you list, so we are sticking with the two!
The money doesn't bother me to be honest. I'd rather have the babies. Just don't want to do it on benefits x
Are you going to keep working full time, both of you? You'll need a bigger car with 3 and either accept that at least 2 of your children will be sharing a bedroom, or also buy a bigger house. Is that feasible with taking the financial hit of another period of parental/maternity leave?
Childcare will be a big expense unless you are young enough to space your 4/5 children so that some are always in school while the youngest couple are in childcare, especially if full time.
If you can manage then brilliant, go for it! If not, think carefully. If your life won't be the same without having 4/5 then you'll have to find ways to manage financially, particularly bearing in mind the fact that the current government are likely to rule families out of claiming benefits for more than two children in the longer term.
You could wait until your eldest is in school before you have the next one, as was mentioned upthread. Alternatively, you could have 2 batches..so don't have #3 & #4 until the first two are in full time school.
If you don't want to be on benefits, then I think you need really close family members/friends who will help out with childcare. Even when they're in school, after school & breakfast clubs for more than 1 DC really does add up. You'll need that though, unless someone is going to drop off, pick up and look after them till you come home.
We managed it without benefits. My DH worked FT and I was a SAHM until the year before my youngest started school. I could never have earned enough to have justified paying for childcare, and I didn't really want to go back to work before then anyway.
Working FT is a double edged sword, IMHO, unless you're earning a good second salary, but others might disagree.
I second the likelihood of benefits only being payable for the first two children in the not too distant future. Maybe that will spare you on to TTC earlier rather than later, as surely they won't be able to take benefits off families who are already receiving them for more than 2 children.....will they?
Bigger age gaps would spread the childcare cost a bit, so wait until you have 15 hours funding or even school for the youngest before having another. If you feel you need another bedroom maybe consider moving to a cheaper area? Also consider whether it might work out better financially for one or both of you to work part time.
I think you've picked the worst time!!
the government are very likely to start limiting tax credits etc if you have more children, which is shit and it's putting me off ttc a fourth.
however, we have three and a normal hatchback car, also two of mine share a bedroom, I think it's great for children to share, I never had to and I don't speak to my siblings, DH had to and his family are very close.
I don't think you can afford it atm surely if that's your total income from 2 parents working full time. The more children the less likely you can afford childcare so only one of you can work, presumably bringing home half what you currently do
If you work full time then the child care costs don't stop when they start school. I find juggling work and children much harder now they're at school. After school clubs / trips / concerts/ 10764 things to remember each week...
We stopped at two though would have loved more. A large family just isn't compatible with our lives sadly.
We have four. The fourth wasn't planned and was born after a 7 year age gap so my older 3 are at school (aged 13, 10 and 7) and I have given up work to be a SAHM until the baby goes to school so we don't need to pay for any childcare.
We live in a 3 bed semi. My eldest is a boy so gets the box room to himself, the other 3 are girls so will share the master bedroom - we have bought a triple bunk bed so they still have plenty space to play although the baby is still in with us (in the smaller second bedroom) at 11 months as she wakes a lot and I don't want the older girls to be tired for school. We also live in an area with cheap housing so our rent isn't really expensive (£500 per month). It's definitely do-able to have a large family. We didn't plan to have four but I love it and am loving having the chance to go back to the baby years again.
We have 3 both work full time, no childcare, no support as we do all aspects of care ourselves. At least one of us is at every event, activity, or anything else they do. We have a 2 bed and I drive tiny car but get them all in. We will also be having more.
I have 4 and we're permanently skint. Our joint income is the same as yours but we aren't entitled to any benefits and we do manage fine. We're off camping for a fortnight on holiday and my kids are as happy as those going to disneyland.
My philosophy is that if u wait til u have the money you will never do it and you only live once! My 3rd and 4th just slotted in and got hand me downs etc.
Also 3 yr olds are going to get free childcare and your eldest will be at school. I say go for it
I have 4 and would not change it for the world. Love, love them but I would say stick at 2. Waaaaay easier and you can give them more.
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