Worried I won't cope with 3(10 Posts)
I recently had DC3 and I am TERRIFIED of DH going back to work on Monday. I'm in full baby blues mode and just don't know how I will cope with the housework/homework/ basic things. I feel pulled in so many different directions and I'm worried I'm neglecting my older two already as DC3 is the clingiest baby I've ever known.
Come September the older two will both be in full time school but I'm so scared of the next few weeks and long summer holiday. I don't think I'm cut out for this. I feel like a rubbish mum .
DC3 was a surprise but we all adore her, she just hates being put down.
I'm exhausted and looking for any tips/reassurance I can get .
Do you have a sling? It will be your best friend to keep baby close to you, and hopefully calm, while keeping your hands (generally) free. I had 4 dcs in 5 years and I used to go out a lot. We are in London, so it is relatively easy to find somewhere open with something on during the holidays.
Alternatively, could you put dcs in a holiday programme for a week or so? What about an intensive swimming programme. Ours would be for half an hour, but to get there, get changed etc etc, would easily take half a day. I always found doing something much easier. Downside was the house was v messy. Still not much better on some days, but on some days it is good. Can you get a cleaner (I understand the problem is getting it tidy before the clean - on bad days I have a cleaner a big basket to throw in whatever didn't have a home). Then I just got the cleaner to clean downstairs - one level of the house clean at least.
It will be ok, but sometimes it is tough, these moments pass... Batch cook, quick meals for the short term. Congrats on your dd
Give yourself time love. Housework can wait. Remind yourself that this little lady will only be small for such a short time. Don't worry about the housework. Buy extra baby wipes- place them around the house, i used to wipe over the basin and loo whilst i was in having a wee which kept toilet in a reasonable condition. Great for kitchen surfaces etc too. Cut corners, now is not the time to feel stressed about the house.
Be kind to yourself. Get easy meals that don't take more than a few mins to put together and like imip says get out as much as you can. Being home was much harder. Get to the park on dry days, toddler groups, the library, soft play, Visit people too - company helps.
It will get easier. I promise. Use a sling or vibrating chair for dd and see if she will settle.
Have you got a garden OP? I had DC4 just before the summer holidays last year and stocked the garden up with toys and activities so that they could be out in the garden.
Yes to a sling, gives you your hands back, also Ocardo (I haven't done a full shop in a supermarket for years). Lots of jobs were on hold until the September when the older ones were are school. I also bought loads of uniform as DC4 was still quite small in September and sometimes the washing machine didn't get put on until the weekend.
I have 3 and think at similar stages, so last Summer holidays baby was newborn, middle about to start school and eldest in school.
None of mine would be put down much for first few months so a stretch sling saved me!
I got a cleaner, just once a fortnight to do one level of house. What a difference! I don't spend much else on myself so it was my treat.
Easy meals for the Summer holidays. Fish Fingers, New potatos and peas can be pretty much cooked one handed and perfectly nutritious. Beans on Toast is fine!
Get some cheap dvds and in the afternoon, flop in front of them with some popcorn and let baby sleep on you if need be. At least you're getting a sit down.
Mine did swimming lessons last summer, every morning for a week each. Getting there and back took up the whole morning. It was hard at times but then I felt they'd had exercise and stimulation.Hang out with a friend?
It will get easier. When your eldest are both in school, your hormones settle and baby sorts herself out a bit. I promise.
Be kind to yourself. A treat in the evening (glass of wine, chocolate). And don't worry about attention for older two. The benefit of a younger siblings outweighs a short time of more Tele etc. It will come again.
Ah this will be my summer holidays too! Due in the next few weeks & have DC1 just turned 7, & DC2 who will be 4 in Sept (& will start pre school then...). I haven't really thought about how I am going to cope yet... I have booked a cleaner though, she's coming for the first time this week & I am so excited. I am basically outsourcing my nesting
I know it's been said but do invest in a sling but even more so buy a sling that you love. I bought a fabric wrap sling when my DC3 was born. It was amazing. I loved it so much more than the clip sling that I used a couple of times with DC1 & 2. It is great when cooking dinner for the older two and if they are fed and happy then attention can be given to the baby.
The older two will be fine and summer weather will help you. I let mine make a mess in the garden like painting and let the rain eventually clean up. Also lots of water play is good fun and doesn't need a lot of parent help. Big paintbrushes, water and a fence means a good hour of fun. Enough time to feed a baby.
Plus you are not a rubbish mum at all. Things will be crazy this summer. You need to try and except it and just live with it and through it. Things are crazy in a house of three or more children. Don't worry about the house and the mess. Just deal with things that might just you more problems like food crumbs/ant, etc and ignore the toys, dvds, clothes, etc.
I'm not sure at what age they can sit in a swing chair but I think it's quite young if it tilts back a bit. I think this is way better than a sling. The problem with slings is that they are still all over you IMO. It's important to get one that has batteries and rocks back and forth.
Ah, but when you master breastfeeding from a sling, you can simultaneously breastfeed baby and push older dc on swing - probably while also kicking a ball to another dc
I never had one of those battery - operated swings, but can see the benefit at home, but out and about, a sling was a necessity!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.