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Broody but not sure I really want another

(6 Posts)
Moondancer146 Fri 12-Jun-15 22:30:57

My youngest DD turned 1 a few weeks ago and when she was born my DP and me both felt she completed our family.
I already have 3 DCs and he has 2 from previous relationships but we desperately wanted a baby together. Now he thinks it would be good for her to have a sibling close in age and I feel so broody every time I see a new baby. Problem is I'm 38 now and after massive complications with DD would need extra monitoring so I just don't know if it's worth the risk. Is it crazy to try for another baby?

MazyCrummy Sat 13-Jun-15 07:43:24

I'm interested to read responses Moondancer because I can imagine being in a similar position. I have 4DC, DH has 1DS and I'm currently pregnant with our 1st. The vague 'plan' was to have 2 quite close together for the same reason you say, having a close sibling BUT I don't think I can face ever being pregnant again (loved previous 4 pregnancies) after this time which has been so much harder, so I can imagine the same 'am I mad' debate in 18months.

Sorry I've not got any actual advice. Good luck deciding. flowers

Moondancer146 Sat 13-Jun-15 09:09:13

We never really had a plan, not even a vague one but my eldest two and his two are all very close in age and I know have loved growing up with close siblings. On the other hand my DD2 is 8 years younger than DD1 and has always loved being the spoilt baby of the family. I know DD3 would grow up happily with my friends babies and her friends from nursery if we decide not to try for another. I just somehow feel like I'm not done yet and crave having another new baby to hold. I can't imagine going through another pregnancy like my last though and don't know if I can face that kind of stress again. It's so hard to know if we should take the risk, I almost needed a hysterectomy after my EMCS and sort of wish I had because then there'd be no decision to make confused

MazyCrummy Sat 13-Jun-15 09:36:40

DSS is 19 (and lives in Oz), my 4 will be 13/11/8/5 when baby is born. The thing that us (vaguely) plan for two close-ish together is that my exH and his family take the 4 on holiday, spend part of Christmas together, have weekends at grandparents, etc and I didn't want this one to feel completely different/alone when others are away en masse.

The problem with that plan is that I've been so ill this time around that I've had to take prescribed anti sickness meds, and I can't imagine juggling work, a toddler, the big 4DCs and feeling this grim. I've not got your medical emergency kind of worries though...what did/do Drs say about the possibly of it happening again?

Moondancer146 Sat 13-Jun-15 11:56:21

Doctors say I'd need to be closely monitored and the first sign of any problems probably put on bed rest which is completely impractical shock but as they don't know what caused the problems last time and I've had 3 previous straightforward pregnancies they don't even know if it might happen again. Only thing they've said for certain is I'd need another section. Think in an ideal world we'd wait another two years then give it a go but that would mean I'd be over 40 when I gave birth and of course the older I get the more chance of problems

MazyCrummy Sat 13-Jun-15 18:39:55

Oh dear, I can see why you're worried about it. It's hard when there's not a definite answer flowers

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