Anyone have 4 children and a career?

[PrintScreen]

I have 3 children and I work full-time at a career that (a) is important to me and (b) I need to continue for money reasons.

I am seriously considering baby number 4. DH is very keen. We love our family of three and found the adjustment from 3 to 4 pretty easy. However, I find balancing the children and work very difficult and I do feel guilty for not spending more time with them. My main reservation about going for four is that I will have even less time to spend with each child.

Most people told me I would struggle to keep my career and three children and although I am exhausted I do manage it and I do love both aspects of my life. I wonder whether four would be pushing my luck or building on something brilliant.

[MurtleTheTurtle]

I have 4 and a full time career. In fact, I am almost 38 weeks with no 5! However, I have very little family help so I employ a day time nanny who works the same hours as me (9-5) plus overtime if I have to travel for work which happens every 3 months or so. However, I live in the northwest where childcare is much cheaper than London and the South East and I work from home so I don't have commuting time each day.

I do frequently work into the evenings once the children are in bed and I do only take 8-10 weeks maternity leave each time so I have had to make sacrifices. I also have a cleaner and pay someone to do my ironing - if I had to juggle that on top of work and a larger family it probably wouldn't work. I also have few friends or hobbies. It's not for everyone but it works well for me / us.

[dazedandconfusedagain]

As murtletheturtle has just shown- it depends how much help you'll have from family/friends or paid help.

4 kids with a full time nanny, working from home, outsourced ironing and a house cleaner is obviously worlds away from 4 kids and having to commute to work each day, working 8am-6pm, extra journeys to collect kids from childcare, going out really early and getting home late plus doing all the cleaning and ironing and shopping and other jobs nanny's and paid household help do.

We have 4 kids, my partner works long hours and I don't even work but our house is only ever tidy 9pm-6am

[Rayn]

Hi I do. I have 4 children and run my own business which is long hours.
However, I think it depends on the ages of the children. My eldest 2 are 14 and 11 so fairly self sufficient and there is an 8 and 4 year old. I have a cleaner and an ironer as needs must. It can be tough - I would be lying if I said otherwise but it is worth it.

[Soveryupset]

Another one with a full time career and four children. I don't have a cleaner but I did when the children were younger. It was mega tough back when they were all tots/babies but it does get easier although it is still very busy.

My eldest is 10 and my youngest 5. I suspect it might get even easier in 5 years time in terms of juggling..

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Not me but my friend has four children. She works part time as a teaching assistant and is also doing her degree

[unclerory]

My friend has 4 kids (eldest is 6), works part time as a GP and has no family help or cleaner, kids all go to nursery/school. I don't know how she manages!

[knowler]

Nothing helpful to add, just that you all sound pretty amazing :)

I really must stop moaning about a part time job and 2 children!!

[Panicmode1]

I gave up my full time career when I had my fourth - didn't help that one of the partners said "Oh, you've committed career suicide now - I thought you were more intelligent than that" .

I am now a FT SAHM - I found juggling my (very unreliable) nanny with travelling for work, (and DH travels too) just too difficult - and my children kept asking me why other people's mummies picked them up and they had a nanny at the school gates...I felt I wasn't being a very good employee, wife or mother - so sacrificed my career. I didn't have any family nearby and that made things harder.

I now volunteer at the local school, founded a Free School, volunteer in a Hospice, was on the PFA blah blah blah and have very little 'free' time left for me! I do worry about being financially dependent on DH now - but will go back and do some paid employment in due course.....

I think if you have the support network in place then it is doable, yes!

[misstiggywinkle21]

Yes. It's possible but takes organisation and wine!!

[MazyCrummy]

Like Murtle, I have 4DC and am pg with #5. I also employ a Nanny but self employed and work on client sites so am out 07.30-18.00 most days. I'll be going back to work when it feels right with this baby, but it's likely to be quite short ML. I love what I do all day and love what I come home to!