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Will I ever be able to work?

(7 Posts)
Fathertedismyuncle Sat 27-Dec-14 00:13:12

We have 4 FC (9,7,4,2) and not planning any more. I have been a SAHP since dc 1 although I have always either worked part time or ran my own business. I would like to go in to teaching. I want to work "properly" again. However this year alone the children were ill one week after another, so 4 consecutive weeks with at least 1 child at home. How the hell would I hold down a job with this? How do you manage with a job and a larger family?

Fathertedismyuncle Sat 27-Dec-14 00:13:58

4 dc not 4 father Christmases!

mrsminiverscharlady Sat 27-Dec-14 00:20:43

I went back to university and retrained for a new career when my dcs were 4, 6, 7 and 9. I now work in a very demanding job with long hours, nights and various unsocial shifts plus on-call commitment once a week. It is absolutely fine, but only because my dh totally pulls his weight. It would be much harder otherwise. It also gets easier once they're secondary age and are a bit more independent. They also don't get sick as often as they get older IME!

imip Sat 27-Dec-14 21:12:08

father I am in a similar position. I have a 8, 6, 4 and 2 yo and am a sahm. I've contemplated doing a pgce, but there is a very interesting thread ATM about doing a pgce with a family. I must admit I just don't think I would manage.

In the past 12 months, my two oldest have been diagnosed with additional needs, both very different in nature. It's involved dr appts on an almost weekly basis all year. I don't know how I would have managed that as a working parent. As it is, dh has used lots of annual leave for childcare as I'm never sure how long appts will go for, one dc was likely to be admitted to hosp and we have no family in the uk.

However, I have found a part-time course I am interested in doing, that will probably only ever lead to a part-time Job. It's a far cry from what I used to do, which is great. I guess dh will need to be more flexible when I start the course (presuming I get in).

Quite apart from all the appts, I need to do physio with one of my dcs 5x a week, I've been nit combing hair pretty regularly recently, I've brought all the Christmas presents. Dh will need to pick up more slack (very poor eyesight, likely to eventually be legally blind in a couple of decades). As a pp said, I'm hoping this will be easier as they move into their teenage years (though one dcs condition will probably get worse). Anyway, I was pretty fortunate to find the new course, and I hope to start in spet 2015.

MultipleMama Sat 27-Dec-14 21:38:59

I do casual work from home and even that is a struggle with the DC. However, I have told myself that when all are in some form of school (2 are in school, 2 are in toddler school part time, 2 home, 1 in NICU).

DH is going back to University for a double degree which he will hopefully start in Sept 2015, and in 2016 he will be spending a semester abroad so it's going to become a lot harder but I am determined to go back to work even if it's just part-time until they're all fully in school.

Hassled Sat 27-Dec-14 21:44:32

I wouldn't go from SAHP-dom straight in to FT. I did, and I was a frazzled wreck - the adjustment was enormous. I went down to 3 days, but now I do 4 and know I could cope with FT easily enough - but I really wouldn't recommend going straight from not WOH at all to FT if you can possibly help it. PT gives you a period of adjustment.

trickydickie Sun 28-Dec-14 00:42:28

It is tricky (in the name too!!). I did laugh at you writing 4 fc rather than 4 children! Sign of someone with a few kids!

I think the kids being sick as often reduces as they age. Mine are 12, 9, 7 and 4.In the last year (touch wood) we have had so many less bugs. As you said up until a year ago it was constant. Last Christmas was the first full Christmas holiday in 7 years that we didn't have a child sick. It was so lovely. So far, this Christmas holiday is looking pretty sick free too.

Up until a year ago I really struggled trying to work. Sickness much less in summer months so bit easier then.

I find I still need to give my kids so much time that I don't know how I would manage to work f/t. I realise there are plenty of parents that do but we wouldn't manage. Well we would but the kids would have to give up most of their clubs etc. Dh does most of the club runs whilst I am in doing cooking, cleaning, homework etc with whatever children aren't involved in the club run. We struggle to keep on top of all the homework.

I still have to check my eldest is doing homework/ what she has. My youngest has a medical condition that doesn't take a great deal of my time but I still have appointments for him and daily medication etc.

I am not a very organised person and maybe if I was more organised and had the children doing more to help then I would manage to work more! I think if you are p/t you can manage the kids sickness's etc. better. Hopefully they will just get bugs on the days you don't work. Or you may have a reasonable employer who would let you work the hours back or your husband could take a day off here and there to cover it? It is so hard but they definately get sick much less often once they are above age 8.

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