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large blended families please come and chat to me about having 'just one more'

(7 Posts)
chocoraisin Sat 15-Nov-14 20:52:47

DP and I have 4 under 7, and we're both broody for one more. Well, actually, possibly two more. But I don't know if we're absolutely certifiably mad or whether it would be as lovely as we think it would?

Our youngest DC is 2 now. We're thinking of leaving it a couple of years, so the older 4DC would all be school age or so...

Has anyone else got a big blended family and had extra on top? What's it's like? Anything to consider expecially? Any warnings/words of advice?

TIA

Kellieo7 Sun 16-Nov-14 10:18:25

Hi, need some advise please...I am 39 years old soon to be 40. I have 2 lovely children. A boy of 16 and a girl of 7. I have been with my partner for 10 years and we always said we would have more children. I lost a baby 3 years ago, early stages, but havnt been keen to have another baby. My son and my partner have a strained relationship, they are very different people. My son is strong but can be very sensitive and my partner also strong but can at times be quite brash. My son sees his dad every other weekend which also complicates things...I left my sons dad father (my ex husband) due to domestic violence, we have had years of battling through the courts from everything down to contact and money etc. my ex husband has never paid a penny towards my son yet lives in a 800,000 house and throws money at my son every other weekend. This causes upset as we have very little money, both work 7 days a week most weeks and the maintenance payments would help a lot even if only to buy uniform and school dinners. He has ignored the CSA letters to the point if pretending he doesn't live at his house! My ex husband hates both myself and my partner and i have been told from an outside mutual friend that he constantly runs me and my partner down, this also has a major impact on my son and now partners relationship...I know I'm Babbling but just want to give all the facts. Anyway my partner desperately wants another child but I am worried firstly how my son will be and also obviously worry about the money side of things. I don't want my kids to go without as I worry they will resent the new baby...help. I don't have much time to decide, body clock ticking! Also if I decide not to have another baby I feel the relationship I'm in would become very strained...

chocoraisin Mon 17-Nov-14 08:51:11

Hi Kellieo7 no advice I'm afraid but you might find it gets more traffic and more replies in Step parenting or relationships? Def start a thread of your own with a title that grabs attention... it's not that I mind you posting under this title at all but I think my topic is unlikely to get much in the way of replies/interest and you sound like you could really do with some proper support and advice. I'm sorry for the loss of your baby, I'm sure that has a big impact on how you feel now - I hope you reach a decision that feels right for you x

ProbablyMe Mon 17-Nov-14 09:48:34

Hi Not a huge amount of actual advice but we're actually doing this! I have 4 DS aged between 11 and 17 that live with us, my DP has 2 DD aged 8 and 10 that live with their mother but we have regular contact with and we decided - me age 40 and DP age 38 - that we wanted a child together. We both realised that we love having lots of children around and seem to thrive on the chaos! Plus, the desire the have a child together was strong too - it's a permanent bond for our families. We're now expecting in July 2015. smile

chocoraisin Mon 17-Nov-14 10:35:59

congratulations ProbablyMe! that sounds wonderful smile

DP has now shortlisted names lol so I think I know which camp he's in. I have time on my side (am 32) but he'll be 42 this month, so I think he'd rather crack on. I want to give us a little breathing space still. But good to know we're not alone in thinking, well we've got 4 now... what's the harm in a couple more? grin.

Hopefully we're moving to a much bigger house in a month, which will definitely make it more appealing.

ProbablyMe Mon 17-Nov-14 11:41:17

Chocoraisin - we're moving to a larger house in a couple of weeks too, definitely helped us make the decision!!

MrsExtraOrdinary Mon 24-Nov-14 11:33:25

I had 4dc when I met dh. He had 5dc made up of previous step dc and bio dc. We then had a dc together. 3 years on im 12 weeks pg with our last baby. Just one more has made me quite poorly though and I'm just trying to get through each day at the moment.

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