Havs any of you said no for having another then one day something changed!?(8 Posts)
Out of curiosity has any of you felt they have enough around baby no3 for a long while then one day changed your mind? Only asking as i usually feel broody by this stage dc3 is almost 1 but this time im still feeling overwhelmed by the number of kids most days so wondering if it will change or maybe that is it and i finally feeling complete
My career is very important to me and I am fighting for shreds of it as it is. DCs are 6, 4, and 2 years old. If we had another we would have stuck to that pattern, so the chance is gone. (not that we were that tempted anyway!)
There is a tiny voice in my head that would be happy to be talked into another child, and if money were no objection I would be very happy to have another, because then I could get in more help with basically everything.
BUT we have our hands full with our three, we cannot buy in any more help, I am really not interested in any more night wakings, I really don't want to take more time out of my career, I really cannot find an ounce of attention to give to a fourth child, I wouldn't want to decimate my non-existent me time, basically the list goes on and on. I would be unhappy taking time out of my day for a fourth child's appointments: doctor, school, it really adds up!! especially as they get older.
I remember how easy having two kids was. Right now, I am not thinking that 3 kids are easy, so I will listen to this voice. On the other hand, having four kids is really cute, but definitely not for us.
Also, I am getting a bit too old for all this now (turning 40 in december).
Basically, to have 4 kids you need to be a 100% parenting team / a SAHM or SAHD from the bottom of your heart, unless you have some spare money for 2 nannies to help out etc….
My point: we are complete, no hankering for a fourth
It may change for you. After I had number 3 I felt like that was it for me. Don't want anymore 3 is more than enough, then for some reason one day,there was no way I could ever imagine not having another baby and went on to have two more beautiful little darlings
Everyone is different so who knows.
Your family may now be complete with 3 and that's how you may always feel or in a year you may change
I thought I was complete after my first born and now have 5 and still not sure x
I felt our family was complete after 3. Our youngest is now 5 and neither me or DH can bring ourselves to make the final step into 'absolutely no more'. I'm 34 so there's still time to add a 4th!
I'd had enough after 2, then there was a drunken night and I spent the next 9 months in denial before Ds arrived. He was then definitely the last , just couldn't imagine wanting anymore. Then something changed one day and I had twins just before ds turned 4, they are adorable and amazing but I'm way past done now and dh had the snip just to make sure.
We originally we wanted 4DC's, then decided after DC2 that we would stop at two, lots of good reasons, gave away/sold lots of baby stuff. Shortly after this fell pg with DC3 by (wonderful) surprise.
Decided to stop at 3, more good reasons, more baby stuff sold/given away. The thing was that deep down we wanted another and the dynamic of 3DC's didn't work in this house. We started talking about how 4 could work instead of how we should stick to 3. DC3 was nearly 3 when DC4 was born so I had a good stretch of 'rest' and good nights sleep before I fell pg again.
We are definitely stopping now.
Thanks all it's lovely to read how most of you had a change of heart. I can already tell that i will eventually really want another even tho my head says the first year really kills me in every way and not sure if dh and i would survive another dc. The only thing that might make it easier if i just swallowed my pride and took a mother's helper for the first few month... we will see. Anyway i would be too worried to even mention the idea of having another one to dh after a year of crying and shouting
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