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Three under three

25 replies

MadBannersAndCopPorn · 30/09/2014 08:23

Does anybody have this situation, I typed it into the search bar and nothing came up. (Does this mean it doesn't exist?) Dd1 will be 2y 10m, dd2 will be 16 months and I'll have a newborn. Please tell me there are people out there who have children this incredibly close together.
Third pregnancy was a surprise, but a welcome one, had two easy births with both my DDS, bf well, reasonably good sleepers. Luckily dd1 has been nothing but loving towards the baby. She's definitely two and goes against everything I say, no is her favourite word and insists on doing everything for herself. Dd2 is just 9 months and as long as she has something to chew on, regular food and bottles and the fire guard up, she's fine. Tell me people... Am I shooting myself in the foot? Sorry for typos on phone and its taken me long time enough to type, let alone edit...

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imip · 30/09/2014 15:45

Almost! Dd1 was 3 yrs and 4 months when I had dd3. But mine were all horrible sleepers! I went on to have dc4 when dd1 was 5 yrs and 2 months, so it can't have been that bad!

There are others here who have done it and survivedGrin

My final dd is now 2.8 and I am moving, kind of sadly, out of my baby days. It was bloody hard work. It still is, but just different...

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MadBannersAndCopPorn · 30/09/2014 16:08

Thank you, so nice to know that others have been there. When I tell people I'm pregnant, they don't even conceal their disgust. "But, why would you do that?", "Oooooh, you're brave!" Or just "Good luck..."
I'm worried I won't be able to potty train dd1, give dd2 any attention or function at all whilst bf dc3. I'm not going to lue, I find it a challenge with the two I've got.
Did you use nursery/ children/ childcare imip or were they all at home all the time?

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Whatsonemore · 30/09/2014 16:40

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Whatsonemore · 30/09/2014 16:40

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dorasee · 30/09/2014 16:50

Crazy woman! You shot yourself in the foot and they'll drive you mad, but you'll love 'em all to the moon and back. :-)
I have 3 kids, big gaps and you know what? Any gap is tricky because raising kids is tricky.
It's hard to spread the attention across all 3 and there are moments when I just wonder why God fell short and blessed women with only two hands. But yes, even with my 'sensible' gaps, it's tricky. But you will find a way to manage. You really will. Scheduling is a must: meals, baths, bedtime... you will have to be a bit of a fascist about it if you want to keep your wits about you. You will need help so if your mother is available, you will have to rope her in. Your DH will have to learn to be a bit more hands on if he is not a total hands on dad already.
3 is awesome. Crazy hard work at times, but the kids love it and we want number 4! We won't do it, but would if we could. So it's not too bad at all.

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Whatsonemore · 30/09/2014 17:11

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vdbfamily · 30/09/2014 18:25

Not quite as crazy....eldest was 3.5 when 3rd arrived. The first year passed in a total blurr and I thought I was mad. Youngest had health problems from birth and was in/out hospital a few times which did not help. Have to say that from a year in,when oldest started school,things got easier and easier and now I love the fact that they are close in age and interact well with each other. Would echo the importance of aiming for some sort of routine asap and trying to stick with it.I had a few weeks where I was so tired I was trying to lie-in and then running out of time to get stuff done so was hurrying eldest to get ready for pre-school and then she would get stressed as I was rushing her. As soon as I got us all back in routine,things improved! Good luck.

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accessorizequeen · 30/09/2014 18:33

It exists! My ds was 21 months when the dts were born. It's still - blur and the dts just turned 6! If you can get some help, any help, that will help a LOT.

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7to25 · 30/09/2014 18:46

I did, but 26 years ago.
16 month and then 15 month gaps. I then went on to have 3 more.
I survived and so have they. They are all wonderful people and have done very well in their chosen paths. I have 3 grandchildren from no.s 1&2 . You are not alone.

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imip · 30/09/2014 21:47

Once dc1 was 2yo she did 2 x 2.5 nursery sessions a week. Not much really, but it got her ready for 5 X morning sessions just before she turned 3. So, dc1 was in morning session nursery at a private nursery when dc3 was born. All 4 dcs have done this. When they were around 3.5 they went to a day or two of nursery til 3pm.

I went to lots of groups with newborn in sling. Lots and lots of groups! And after the nursery pick up at noon, we usually did a packed lunch at the park, even in winter. The amount of mess that saves you at lunchtime cannot be underestimated!

Tbh, toilet training was never That difficult. Dd4 has just got the hang of it this month. I made this mistake of trying to train her over summer, but I realised I couldn't do it with the other dcs around, so waited til September.

It is tricky, I have zilch family support, and not many friends I can rely on either, but we've managed. There are some brilliance hints and tips on this board, especially the sort related to school runs/getting ready/meal time that may help you. May be useful to implement them now. I speak as someone who really only got up-to-speed with these hints when dd1 started school (and heavily pregnant with dd4).

I must admit I feel I've not given all my dcs the time they deserve. I notice this now that I am at home alone with dd4, which I really love. I am listening to her when she talks, I am not engaging in diplomacy or firefighting! But, in return, they have their own little gang of friends - an instant party! Something that often happens, which is really cool, no matter where we are with our 4 dds, other little girls feel compelled to join us because they think something exciting is going on - a group of 4 dds together - it's an incredible thing to watch!

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Nonotthatagain · 01/10/2014 09:27

I had 3 under 3 DS was 2.6 , DD1 14months when DD2 was born then when DD2 was 19m we had DD3 - so 4 under 5 it was hard at times but now they are 19, 18,16 & 15 it's lovely and they get on most of the time. My best tip is to not stress about housework/untidiness but just enjoy them as they grow so quickly.

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MadBannersAndCopPorn · 01/10/2014 09:43

Thank you so much for your stories, I'm going to try and get some sort of sturdy routine going as we sort of just"do whatever" at the moment. Fantastic tips about going out to eat, even just in the park... I did blw with both mine and hope to do so with dc3 as well, messy times!!
I'm suspecting its a girl as we have 3 girls already and live the idea of ready made gang.
I've looked at a couple of nurseries for dd1 but the guilt of "getting rid of her" has already started to set in as the main reason is so I have time with other children. (She would liv it, I know and thrive in the city company/ interaction)
I need to of and more cheap/ free baby groups, suitable dir all children which is proving hard in my area as some charge up to 2. 50 per child, and all you get is a crap coffee. Lots if the free ones encourage prayer/ hymns which I'm not into, I'll do some research...
Can I ask about living arrangements. Is it possible to have 3 DC in one (sizeable) bedroom? Obvs if dc3 is a boy it wouldn't be forever but until 5 or 6 can't see it being a problem.. Sorry to bombard you all but I have nobody in RL to ask about these things and want to be as prepared as I can be

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MadBannersAndCopPorn · 01/10/2014 09:44

Please read past my spelling and grammar mistakes, I hate smartphones

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vdbfamily · 01/10/2014 09:52

One of my cousins had 2 boys and a girl in same room for long time. When they did an attic conversion and tried to change bedroom arrangements the kids were all really reluctant as they loved sharing. My 11 year old is just starting to complain now about sharing with 8 year old sister but they have been fine up til now.

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littlepeas · 01/10/2014 13:01

I had 3 under 3 for 3 weeks! Dc1 was 2yrs 11 months and dc2 was 22 months when I had dc3. It was actually ok at the start - dc1 hit a compliant, reasonable, easy going stage just as we had dc3 and dc2 would still sit in the pram - so I was able to get about, and they all slept! It was easy enough to keep them all in the same routine as they were so very close in age. They are now 6, almost 5 and 3 and I feel like I have just been through the hardest stage (so far!) - while dc3 was 2 - his presence in any combo (even just him by himself with 2 adults) made everything difficult. He is getting much easier now and everything is lovely again. They are a great little gang and are really good friends, the way their birthdays have fallen has meant that they will be in consecutive school years, so they will always have one another and have friends in common. The only regret I have is that it is all going very quickly indeed and I'd have been able to drag it out a bit more had I had bigger gaps, but overall I feel like it has been a very positive decision to have them close together.

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zzzzz · 08/12/2014 00:07

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tiggyhop · 08/12/2014 00:28

exactly the same age gap as you will have!! 2.10, 16 months and new born. now 9, 10 and 11 and it is great

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Fanjango · 08/12/2014 00:43

I cheated and had twins, so not quite the same. Ds1 was 7 and twins were 22months when dd2 was born. Organise well and it will be fine. You already know what you do and don't really need in a change bag etc so you are halfway there Grin. Just make a safe space for baby for those moments when they have to be left alone, loo breaks, I put baby in a baby chair in the kitchen but twins took pot shots at her with their toys over the babygate Shock. It's busy but fun. Mine are too grown up now and I miss those busy but happy days if baby's/ toddlers all in a sleepy pile on my lap. SmileGood luck

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SoonToBeSix · 08/12/2014 00:47

I will have four under three plus a just turned four year old. Baby is due 2 days after the twins turn one and ds will be 2.6. Dd3 will be 4.1 . ( plus the older two) it's chaos already so I am not worried Grin

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MultipleMama · 08/12/2014 01:29

I have five 2 and under (or seven 6 and under) if it helps you feel less crazy! Grin I also cheated with two sets of twins Grin

You've been given plently of good advice so I'll not bore you. Congrats! :)

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MrsJob · 08/12/2014 18:28

Great to see I am not the only one either. My dc1 was 3yrs10days when dc3 was born. I get asked so often if they are a) all mine and b) were all planned, that I am ashamed to say Blush I have lied and said they were an accident a few times just to avoid the disapproving looks!
We are nearly a year on and I still haven't managed to get the routine or exhaustion under control. So I'm definitely not able to give much advice. Still I have already started working on dh for dc4 so it can't be that bad!

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tiggyhop · 08/12/2014 22:09

haven't been asked if they are triplets for about a year as ds1 has grown...

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LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 08/12/2014 22:31

I had 2.11, 11mo and newborn. I thought my life was over! (it wasn't planned that way!)

Actually it wasn't half as bad as I thought. It was pretty time consuming but I don't mind being busy and I enjoyed the variety of newborn, nearly-1-year-old and toddler. As an example, we managed to fly abroad when dc3 was 10 weeks old.

What saved my sanity was that dc1 was still napping in the afternoon and I worked hard to keep that going and to get dc2 napping at the same time. So when dc3 arrived I would put the older two to bed and then take dc3 to bed with me. Dc1 also did 2 mornings at nursery, rising to 3 mornings after their 3rd birthday. That helped enormously and meant I could have 1 on 1 time with each of them.

And the older they get, the more brilliant it gets. apart from having a 2yo and a 3yo at the same time but let's gloss over that bit My 3 are a proper gang and play loads together.

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compostheap · 19/12/2014 01:13

Another one with small gaps: DS1 was 3.5 and DD was 2.11 when DS2 arrived. And then DS3 came last year, after a huge - for me - gap of 26 months. So we had 4 under 6, and it was still wonderful.

And I agree with Imip - somehow a group of siblings close in age just seems to pull in other children. We always end up with yet more children (and horrified glances) on holiday!

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ScorpioMermaid · 26/07/2015 00:43

I have 9 children aged 13 and under and the 3 youngest are ds- 2 years 9m, ds- 1 year 10m and dd- 12 days old. Grin

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