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Should I go for a third after everything I've been through?

(6 Posts)
Littleladywhite1 Wed 07-May-14 10:05:14

I have two gorgeous boys 5 years and 5 months. But I keeping thinking about having a third. I had three miscarriages before Ds1 was on progesterone and baby aspirin whilst trying for Ds1 which worked. I then got pregnant but was denied any of the meds and subsequently found out it was an ectopic. I was given Methrotrexate ( horrible stuff) instead of surgery. I then fell pregnant with Ds2 4 months later and given the same medication as I had with Ds1. But DS2 has mild hearing loss. We are still working out from all the tests what route we will have to go down. So after all this should I go for a third or be thankful for what I have? Hubby could be persuaded. We have enough space and finances are stable. It's just the thought of going through any more trauma is what's making me think twice. What would you do?

Passthebiscuitspls Wed 07-May-14 12:34:55

It's a tricky one as they each bring their own trauma I think.
Obviously you'd need to stick with the meds that work for you and hope they will work again, they seem to do the trick from what you have described.
I have two DC and trying for a third. I've had traumas with both of mine, health related and developmentally. I did delay trying for number 2 whilst we sorted number 1 out and that's why I have a bigger gap than I'd like but it worked for us. Both are absolutely fine now. What I'm trying to say is, there are no guarantees! Life has a funny was of surprising and testing you but you will cope.

Good luck making your decision! Xx

AngelsInWinter Wed 07-May-14 19:54:56


I know it's not on the same scale as you but I had quite a traumatic birth with dc1 (I had no birthing partner, I was 19 and terrified, they wouldn't believe I was in labour until his heart rate started dipping and my contractions were on top of each other, so I ended up having an episiotomy and forceps on just 15 minutes of gas and air) but I still ended up having two more DC. Dc3 was born at home and had to be delivered by DP, obviously that was very painful and frightening but I am going to be ttc no 4 soon hopefully.

You have been through a lot, but those experiences gave you your sons smile

proudmama2772 Wed 18-Jun-14 13:43:56

That is a very hard question to answergrin.

I've got 3 and wouldn't have it any other way, but it is absolute HELL and exponentially harder with a 3rd. Do you have family that can provide support you?

We had to pay for help when they were babies even with me not working at the time.

dilys4trevor Wed 18-Jun-14 13:52:44

We went for a third (due in Aug) after I realized that I would always think 'what if' if we didn't try. I found myself thinking about it all the time.

Then I got a major promotion at work and we decided it wasn't practical. But it wouldn't go away. In the end, we decided to just do it.

DH was wary as we have two healthy boys and I am almost 40. I have also had a previous ectopic so he was afraid to 'roll the dice.' But I knew I had to try.

I would always say go for it rather than forever wonder. Lots of people are very happy with two and know they want to stop there, but I have alot of people in my team at work with teenage kids (parents now in their late 40s) who went through the whole 'should we/shouldn't we' debate. Nearly all regret not doing it now, I discovered when I asked them (whilst we were going through out own discussions). Not to say that all people with two wish they'd had three, but those people who ummed and ahhed over it wish they had just given it a go.

dilys4trevor Wed 18-Jun-14 13:59:24

...Obviously that is based on a limited sample of about 5! Not meaning to make sweeping generalizations.

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