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4th baby or not?

(7 Posts)
Pollycracker Mon 31-Mar-14 11:57:54

Reasons against

I get bad morning sickness until at least 13 weeks, once 17 weeks. It renders me almost useless and makes me really depressed.

Last time I was pregnant I didn't feel that DP supported me enough. He worked loads, when he didn't work he was often out drinking with friends, we had lots of arguments and I bought all the baby stuff. He is a different person now, but the past still worries me sometimes.

We only have one 5 seater car. We can't change this car. Nor do I want to. Would this work?

I've finally got to a place were i'm confident, my anxiety has all but disappeared, and I feel good about myself. Would this all go back to square 1 if I was pregnant again?

I love being able to put our older three (1, 2 and 5) to bed and then chill out with DP/have a drink. Obviously I'd have to give all this up for 1-2 years.

But I'm quite broody, and I know I'd cope with four. I'm a SAHM and love having the DC here. I'm on the pill now and tbh I doubt we will end up going for a fourth - but I'm only mid twenties so feel a bit sad about that.

Any ideas??

mumtobealloveragain Tue 01-Apr-14 08:54:29

Regarding the 5 seater car. I guess it depends on how often you all go out as a family. If never then it'll be fine. However you'll have to have one child in the front and 3 car seats in the back. If you had your baby soonish whilst your youngest other 2 are still in the full big car seats I doubt you'd get 3 in the back, we couldn't in our old car!

Pollycracker Tue 01-Apr-14 09:29:10

The law states (I think) that a child over 3 doesn't have to be in a car seat if two other car seats prevent the fitting of a third. So when we. Currently go out as a family, 5 year old DS sits in the middle in the back. I'd have to keep doing that with baby in the front (but I think by then DD2 would be in a booster seat as she'd be almost 4). Thanks for replying smile

Pollycracker Tue 01-Apr-14 09:30:12

We don't go out as a family that often. DP works away. DS sees his biological auntie/grandmother most Saturdays. But I'm worried that once that choice was taken away, I'd panic iyswim?

MultipleMama Wed 02-Apr-14 01:25:44

Law states; "If there are two occupied child car seats in the rear but not enough room fit a third one, a child over 3 years can sit in the rear using the car's seat belt instead of a child car seat. However, children under 3 years must be in a child car seat, so if there is no room for a third child seat in the rear, the child must travel in the front seat with the correct child seat."

Personally, I wouldn't feel sage having a child in a car without a car seat. I think for me, my DC's safety would become broodiness but that's just me.

From what I can tell from your OP it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it but that's just my interpretation. Have you sat down and discussed it with DH it might help you get a better idea on if you really want another.

I'm just under mid-twenties and understand the feeling of "being too young" to just put the baby/broodiness to a complete stop.

Good luck whichever way xx

littlepeas Wed 02-Apr-14 09:21:34

I agree with multiple mama, in fact I wouldn't consider putting a child in the front seat, so the car would be a huge obstacle for me in your shoes. I am newly pregnant with our 4th - it was a huge decision to make. I think you need to have the practicalities taken care of before you can move forwards with the emotional side of things. Also, as much as I want this baby, I think I would have decided against if my dh wasn't incredibly supportive and hands on - sole care of 4 children virtually all the time is very hard going I imagine.

thereisnoeleventeen Fri 04-Apr-14 09:31:21

Could you enjoy your current situation for a bit longer and then look at having number 4 in a year or 2, perhaps when the oldest 2 DC's are at school? That way if your DH is still working at lot you get some rest during the day. Also the car might not be such an issue for you then and you might be able to trade your current car in for a 7 seater.

You are in your 20's so you have time on your side.

In the meantime, I had one of these in my old car, they are much narrower than a normal car seat but I used to be able to fit it between a baby seat and a toddler seat.

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