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Dreamt last night that I was pg with twins ...

(6 Posts)
MolotovCocktail Fri 14-Mar-14 20:25:25

We have 2 dds aged 5yo and almost 2yo. Dh has made it patently clear he would like another baby. I have been wobbling; can't make my mind up, a bit scared of the unknown, of rocking the boat, of a 2nd CS.

I'm tempted. I think I'm getting a little broody. Then I have a dream that I am pg with twins!

I am very definitely not pg, but certainly wasn't freaked out by the idea. Is my subconscious telling me something? Do I just want something to happen?

Please humour me smile

MrsTowMater Sat 15-Mar-14 14:15:58

Errrm, I've been wondering the same for ages but after DS2 we decided DH would have the snip so no way it can happen...without reversing it but that would be complicated, and even then not guaranteed to work!

I think the dream is pretty much irrelevant but like you say, you weren't freaked out by the idea. Do you feel you'd cope with another?

If DH wants another, you obviously would like another (I've seen loads of posts from you on here, not that I'm stalking you blush ) but it seems you have been considering this for a long long time. I say if you can afford it then go for it. You have been umming and ahhing for ages. The longer you leave it, the older you'll be, the more you'll put it off, the more you may regret not having another when you inevitably decide you do want another.

There are a million resons pro ad con, doesn't really matter when it comes down to it. Do what's in your heart. Do it grin .

MummyBeerest Sat 15-Mar-14 14:20:31

Are you trying?

When we were TTC I had a dream I had quintuplets. I didn't have them, but I don't see how the two weren't related.

I also had a dream I gave birth to a litter of kittens while pg. So, maybe not...

MolotovCocktail Sat 15-Mar-14 20:17:02

Ah, thank-you both for replying smile

We aren't ttc at the moment, and even if we did decide to stop using contraception, we would just see what happens, I think. Dd1 took 9m to conceive naturally; dd2 took 2 years and six cycles of clomid. I couldn't face 'ttc' again. I'm very happy with my two girls but as dd2 is 2yo next month and getting further from being a baby ... I don't know. I guess I'm missing having a tiny baby!

It's more than that, though. I think we would manage having a third, especially with dd1 now at school ft, and if another baby came once dd2 started nursery. I am an only child with no extended family, as is dh. Our dd's don't have cousins, so there is a part of me that considers this as a valid reason to try and extend their sibling group to 3.

I have posted a lot on here about this, MrsTow! blush grin Dh told me that he would like another baby around the time that dd2 turned 1yo - although I don't feel pressure from him. I know that he would like 3 children but certainly wouldn't be disappointed if we remained at two.

We can afford 3 if finances stay as they are. We would need to move house, but need to move anyway as our current property won't comfortably accommodate 2 growing children anyway.

I like the idea of a gang of 3 daughters. I like the idea of a little boy because we have not experienced having a son.

I'm just scared of being pg and being as busy and physically active as I always am. I'm scared of another ELCS because although the birth itself was great, I was slowed down for a good few weeks during recovery (although I know I would have at least 3 weeks of help and I have friends nearby who I can rely on to help with the school run).

Dd2 starts nursery next September (2015). I have a few more months to think but I think I need to have my mind made up by late summer ...

I think you might be right, MrsTow, I might just need to go with the flow with this ...

MrsTowMater Sun 16-Mar-14 19:57:45

Well just don't do what I did and chicken out entirely! I KNEW once DS2 was about 2 I'd start to feel horrendously broody again. Same thing happened when DS1 was about 2. I told DH after DS2 was born, 'In around 2 years time I'm going to tell you I want another baby, please please please go for a vasectomy now so that all temptation is removed!'

I have straight forward pregnancies and easy labours BUT do not find babies enjoyable at all. I have had PND after both our boys and really really struggled to make it through the first year. Ended up on antidepressants and in counselling. Self harming and actually ended up having to be admitted after DS2. I know I can't put my boys or myself through that again, especially now DS1 is old enough to actually understand and remember it this time, which he wasn't really when we were going through hell with DS2....

BUT sure enough, now DS2 is 2 and all the depression and anxiety is behind me, I find myself wishing we'd NEVER gone for the vasectomy. I dream about the family we planned with 3 children. I wistfully watch my friends with 3 children and constantly feel as if that should have been us. It wasn't to be and I am happy with my boys. I adore them. I had to be practical on what I can cope with and what is fair on them. If you feel you can cope with it then please don't leave it and rule it out like we did. I will always regret not having my three children just because I couldn't cope with a third baby if that makes sense?

MolotovCocktail Sun 16-Mar-14 20:10:26

Yes, I understand what you mean about not being able to cope with a third baby: it's the young child/child that you want, not exactly the newborn and baby bit.

I'm so sorry to read about the depression and anxiety that you have been through. That must have been tough x I can totally see the reasons why you made the decisions you did. It seems like it was the right decision for you and your family.

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