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If you had a 9yo dd and 2yo ds

(10 Posts)
Magix Wed 05-Feb-14 08:56:05

Lived in a 2 bed council flat and knew you couldn't buy a bigger house for another two years , would you have a third ?

Magix Wed 05-Feb-14 08:57:15

Should add at this point , for various reasons , it's a now or never situation .

MolotovCocktail Wed 05-Feb-14 16:25:25

Oh, poor you - what a predicament sad

Tbh, my heart might say yes, but my head would say no. How large is your flat? I would have to consider how another child might impact upon space in the flat ... but then, how much space to babies/toddlers need in the first 2 years if you definitely moved when dc3 was 2yo?

If you know that your circumstances are likely to change in those 2y, then maybe yes. But space is an issue and only you know how you'd manage.

Sorry, I haven't been any help, really sad

Dwerf Wed 05-Feb-14 16:30:37

If you're in a council flat, in two years would you not be eligible for a three bedroom anyway because of the rules about different gender children sharing?

If it truly is now or never, and you are desperate for a third, I think I might go for it. In two years the third child would be about 15 months? It's doable. If the gender laws state that you can't have dd in with ds at 10, then it may not be two years.

Magix Wed 05-Feb-14 17:40:01

Dwerf in theory yes , when dd turns 10 we will be entitled to a 3 bedroom . However , there's a family on our street that have been entitled to a 3 bedroom for 6 years and still haven't got one yet . There just aren't any to give so we can't rely on getting another council house we will have to buy . But it's not possible right now it will be about 2 years time .

thereisnoeleventeen Wed 05-Feb-14 20:40:31

But you could buy in 2 years time? How big is your bedroom? I think my oldest stayed in the cot until 2, it was a drop side one so she could get in and out, the cot might fit in your room. Your smallest would be quite small when you moved anyway, if the finances worked then I wouldn't rule it out.

Magix Sat 08-Feb-14 12:38:31

Yes in two years we could definitely buy . Dd is in her own room and toddler is still in with us .

If we had a third it would mean putting 10yo dd in with 3yo ds and having baby in with us . And this would be for a year or two .

Mumof3xx Sat 08-Feb-14 12:39:36

I would do it

MyNameIsKenAdams Sat 08-Feb-14 12:40:17

Eldest in her own room

Two littlies in a second room (with all your wardrobes etc in)

You and dh on a (very comfy) sofabed in the lounge?

Misfitless Sat 08-Feb-14 18:15:38

I agree with MyName.

If it's only for a couple of years, I'd let eldest keep her own room - she might be hitting puberty sooner than you think, emotions all over the place , needing her own space. With all that to contend with and a new baby, she'll surely need more, and certainly not less space. And at that age, she'll need an increasing amount of privacy - she can't have that sharing a room with a toddler brother.

Also, the little one will need to go to bed earlier than your DD, so where would that leave her at his bedtime? Tip-toeing around him in what is her room?

I think it should be you, not your DD who takes the hit in terms of having to give up their bedroom.

We did have a DD, then a 9 year gap, and then a DS. There is no way I'd have asked her to share her bedroom with her brother. I know your age gap is lightly less, but when you've had your own bedroom for 9 years, you aren't going to give it up without a significant amount of resentment, I wouldn't have thought.

If it were me, I wouldn't do it unless me and DH were prepared to give up our bedroom. (There's no way my DH would agree to that, so for me it would be a "No", but it might work for you.)

We were in the same situation, and we didn't have another child until we had more space. Asking DD to share was out of the question, and our third bedroom (it was more like a big cupboard with a window) literally fitted a cot in, so we had to wait.

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