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Do babies choose to join our family?

(53 Posts)
Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 21:55:46

That's it really. I thought I was done but am totally and utterly convinced there is a daughter out there waiting in the wings. Does anyone else believe that children choose to join our family?

bigbuttons Sun 26-Jan-14 22:01:53

Who knows, after multiple miscarriages I was told by a healer that she could see a little girl waiting in the wings. A month later I was pg and went on to have a girl, my 5th dc at the time.

PacificDogwood Sun 26-Jan-14 22:03:10

No, you are broody smile.
It's you, not a child waiting in the wings.

MarianneEnjolras Sun 26-Jan-14 22:04:58

No I don't believe that. You choose to have a baby, not the other way around.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sun 26-Jan-14 22:09:08

no. a non existent (unless you are talking about adoption?) child cannot choose to join your family. if you want another then at least be adult and responsible enough to own the decision. YOU want a baby. the baby gets no say in the matter.

Bluestocking Sun 26-Jan-14 22:09:31

Of course babies don't choose to join our families - they don't exist until we make them! But if you need a fantasy to make you better about deciding to have another baby when you'd previously said you were all done, then you wouldn't be doing anyone any harm by believing it.

seatfor5 Sun 26-Jan-14 22:12:35

and what would you do if it were a boy! Its a lovely thought but bonkers

TamerB Sun 26-Jan-14 22:25:11

Where are they while they wait ? hmm

Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 22:26:58

I do agree with you. The idea has been put in my head by a few people - usually midwives actually. They do have a very holistic approach but still. I know it doesn't make sense. But I also believe there are forces out there we do not know about and cannot control. And it's not because I have a desire for a little girl. I have been incredibly blessed with two beautiful daughters.

Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 22:31:45

There are quite a few people out there who believe babies choose their families. I haven't just created a crazy new belief. But I do agree it is all very far fetched. Just wanted to see if anyone believed it. There is a tiny part of me who believes there are things we are not in control of.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sun 26-Jan-14 22:34:46

there is a lot we are not in control of. thankfully and luckily in the UK creating children isn't one of those things. we get to decide. the babies don't exist until we make that decision. I didn't think you had created a crazy new belief, just buying into an existing crazy belief.

blueshoes Sun 26-Jan-14 22:36:48

No. It is all in your head

Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 22:56:21

Yes, you're right. I've just googled and it's a really strong Buddhist and Mormon view - from what I interpret. Interesting.

Spottybra Sun 26-Jan-14 22:58:43

I believe so. When pregnant with ds I knew he was my longed for boy but I also wanted a girl too. I dreamt of a ghost girl flitting round the edges at a party. I knew she was mine but I couldn't have her yet.

I had her a few months later.

Inthebeginning Sun 26-Jan-14 23:03:52

If that's true then what about people like me who are infertile? Do babies deliberately choose not to come to us? ????

BrandNewIggi Sun 26-Jan-14 23:07:51

Nope, or I would have to think that four babies took a look at me and decided to bugger off back to heaven (or wherever)

inadreamworld Sun 26-Jan-14 23:09:37

I have 2 DDs and had a dream when DD2 was only a few weeks old that another girl was waiting to be born into our family. Don't ask me where she was waiting - I don't know. DD2 is 12 months so we will see if another daughter comes along. I too believe there are forces out there we don't understand.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sun 26-Jan-14 23:10:28

agree IntheBeginning. also- what about the babies born to people who cant or wont look after them? do you honestly believe there is some force that decides those people need/deserve to have those children or that those children deserve terrible upbringings?

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sun 26-Jan-14 23:12:50

there is no plan thought up in the minds of yet to be conceived children. only the two parents involved decide to create a child. no-one else. silly to pretend otherwise. like some sort of fairytale.

IHeartKingThistle Sun 26-Jan-14 23:13:20

Inthebeginning sad. No. Definitely not. Plenty of horrible, horrible people have babies and I refuse to believe that's chosen when so many lovely, lovely people can't. It's the same reason I am deeply uncomfortable when I see footage of disaster survivors thanking God. What, the people who died didn't deserve God's mercy? You did?

But sometimes it's hard not to think like that. We planned 3 children but decided to stop at 2. I'm really happy with that but I had to make my peace with it and part of that was saying sorry to the 3rd child who I felt was waiting in the wings. I don't feel it any more but I think I needed to do that. Feel a bit silly really!

Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 23:13:44

I am also confused how these theorists explain why some people can't have children or about miscarriages - I've also miscarried twice : ((. Or why babies would choose violent parents. Perhaps it's more a case of getting a glance of the future than babies choosing us!

IHeartKingThistle Sun 26-Jan-14 23:14:01

x-post sillybilly - bang on!

BrandNewIggi Sun 26-Jan-14 23:15:39

I think it's giving you an insight into how you feel about your family! rather than that you are accessing something external to you.
Your subconscious desires I suppose.

NonnoMum Sun 26-Jan-14 23:16:48

Well, our son decided to join us.

And we're very grateful...

BrandNewIggi Sun 26-Jan-14 23:16:51

No idea why my ipad inserts random exclamation marks - makes me look very bouncy. (It'll be "lol"ing next)

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