Family/ society reactions to larger families?(9 Posts)
I'm pregnant with my third ( very h wanted) child and finding myself slightly nervous about announcing to family, work etc. I know that 3 kids isn't really very large family at all in the scheme of things but I am surrounded by people who stopped / plan to stop at 2 -that includes my parents, mil, all aunties and uncles and most of my friends.
The thing is you don't have to go back too far to find whole heap of larger fams ( DH's Dad was one of 7 and my mum was one of 4) but I still have this feeling people will be shocked and maybe a little disapproving? As if we have somehow over stepped a mark or been a little indulgent IYKWIM?
We've been lucky to have a lot of help from family with our first 2. I struggled badly at first with 17 month gap and post natal anxiety. Don't want anyone to think we are taking the piss by heaping more on our plate (and theirs indirectly)
Does this all sound a bit ludicrous and paranoid? I think the pregnancy hormones are kicking in and I'm basically just bricking it. Constant news reports about UK being over run with resource-sapping babies doesn't help either.
Anyone any experience they willing to share?
Don't worry about resource-sapping babies, there will be so many >65s in a few years' time that we need more babies to be able to maintain a working population !
My dad is one of 14, it takes a lot more than 3 to shock me!
I have noticed that bigger families are becoming more the norm where I live, there are loads of mums at the school with 3+ children
Good point LongStory!
And thanks nancy75. I'm kinda fascinated by what is causing this trend and why so many people of my parents' generation stopped at 2. They had arguably more financial security and less pressure work wise ( in my family's case anyhow). It is such a personal decision, of course, and I couldn't even give a rational answer as to why we went for it. We had a million sensible reasons not to but ultimately the hanful of reasons why we should were overwhelmingly powerful.
Hey, I'm a mother of 7 and pregnant, and I have three siblings.
When I was a child it seemed quite normal, we weren't a very big family and not many people really noticed. However when I take my children out I get a lot of looks and comments, most people are quite nice but others are just rude. Sooo if you start having more children after this then you may start getting looks and comments. But having children is a blessing and you shouldn't care what other people think. As for your family and friends, just because they mostly have 2 children doesn't mean you have to as well. As long as you're happy!
I hope I helped
I have 3 - they are 5, nearly 4 and 2 now, so at one point I had 3 under 3! Most people are very positive, compliment us on how lovely they are, etc and there are the usual comments like 'you've got your hands full', all said pleasantly. Most people I knew before ds1 starting school this year only have 2 children, so I always felt like I had a big family within my peer group, but there are lots of families with 3 children at school, as well as a 4 and a 5, and nobody bats an eyelid!
I think that the environment is a factor for some people. The planet is hugely over-populated. But at the end of the day it's all personal choice. I think anything up to 5 isn't too bad.
I think smaller families are more common now because in the 'average' family both parents work and childcare is very expensive, which stops lots of parents from having more than two or three children. In our grandparents generation there wasn't much contraception so many women had far more children than they would have planned on. I could be completely wrong though.
Society doesn't seem to value SAHMs anymore and some even view it as lazy not to go to work. Many women also no longer have a good support network of family and friends to help, due to people moving away from family, often for work and a lack of friends who are not at work themselves.
Over population and environmental issues concern a lot of people.
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