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all the worries before nr 4 is born. anyone had the same?

(11 Posts)
syl1985 Thu 22-Aug-13 00:58:29

Hi everyone,

I'm pregnant with my 4th child. (35 weeks)
My other 3 are: 7, 5 and 3 years old.

I'm so happy with this little one. I just love having a big family. But lately, it might just be my silly hormones. But I grow scared of the thought of going shopping or something on my own with all 4 children.

Things like stepping out of the car. Are they not going to run into the street? Because I wouldn't be able to hold all of their hands.

Shopping, will I be able to keep an eye on them? Won't I loose one of my children?

I've got now a push chair for the baby. Maybe it was better if I brought a twin push chair. One seat for my baby and the other for my 3 year old.

Is a bigger car also safe enough? Are they better or not then a smaller car?

Will I be able to give all of my children enough care and attention when the baby comes?

Now I'm writing these things down, I guess it's probably my hormones making me feel so worried.

Today I thought: over a month I'll have my baby. They won't let me get passed my 40 weeks, because it's going to be a big baby.
My due date it the 23rd of September. That's a month and one day from now.

When I found out I was pregnant. I just couldn't wait to see my belly grow. To feel the baby kick and to be in my last trimester. Enjoying my time off work. Then waiting till the baby is born and then having my baby.

Now it's so far, I'm really starting to shit myself.

I'm not afraid for to give birth. Not at all.

My worries are if everything will go ok with the baby. Are my other kids going to be ok. When we go out will they be safe?

Money worries.
During the pregnancy we had some bad luck. We're trying to get tax and child tax credits. We've been busy with getting that for about 17 weeks now.
Twice they lost our papers and one time they forgot to send the new claim pack to us. We're busy with that and we got some good advice.
Just hoping that before our baby is born we'll get our money. Because we're getting behind in paying our bills.

That's not really helping me to feel less worried ;)

Anyone else who felt this way before your baby was born?

CrispyFB Fri 23-Aug-13 11:33:27

You're where I am (hopefully!) going to be in about six months or so.. I'm 9 weeks with DC4 right now with a 6, 4 and a 2 year old! I am having the same worries as you already. I desperately want this child and 95% of the time I cope just fine with the three and, SN aside, I think number four will be not a huge issue. But then they all melt down in public, or refuse to get dressed, or run off and I wonder what the we have done and how I am going to cope when I am on my own too. And how much more mess will there be given we're already drowning?

My husband excitedly pointed out to me last night that we'll be able to get a bigger rubbish bin from the council with four DC, so I suppose there is that.. wink

Interested to read the replies!

3peasinapod Fri 23-Aug-13 14:16:08

I'm expecting dc #4 in 3 months. Other dc are 7,6 and 5. I feel this time around I will have some time for baby as my other 3 will be in school so that's some help. grin But I know its not going to be a walk in the park either. We have the bigger car, have double buggies, single buggies all that baby needs really. Just some baby grows and that's it. I'm a SAHM all week and work a few hours on a Sunday to keep me sane. Im looking forward to baby coming and having a big family, everything will sort itself out, I remember panicking over 3 under 3 and while it was hard work I did manage. So don't worry you got this.. grin

3peasinapod Fri 23-Aug-13 14:18:42

Plus a double buggy is a must, you have 2 strapped in and 2 holding on. I went through 2 double buggies, I walk alot.

Mswright Sun 25-Aug-13 21:17:59

I have just found out im pregnant today!4th one. And although I had a feeling I was for a few days am still in shock and head slightly spinning with thoughts,like il never sleep again and I might go a bit loopy. My other children are 9 5&1 so I do worry as a 1 year old still needs a lot of attention. Positive thinking helps a lot and taking one day at a time as the present is really all you have nothing else is certain. So all being well things will be ok! A lot of deep breaths also help.....

NAR4 Fri 30-Aug-13 17:43:47

You're worrying yourself over nothing. Your oldest 2 were 5 and 3 when you had your third child and you managed that. I presume your 7 year old would not run off while you were getting the others in and out of the car, so just do the same as you did before.

Older siblings can be great for rocking the baby chair while you cook tea or even just passing you something while you feed the baby etc.

Thinkingofmyfabfour Fri 06-Sep-13 13:21:10

Mine are 6,nearly 4, 2 and 7 weeks so I've been through it recently and had lots of worries about various things. The thing is, you will cope because you have to!! Once the baby arrives you will work out the best ways to do things, and juggle other stuff as necessary.
I was really worried that ds3 would be jealous of new baby. Luckily he adores his baby sister, as do the big two. They are also big enough to help with little things like running to get a muslin for me if baby is sick etc.
Nearly 8 weeks in and things are going ok, yes v hard work and tiring but it's all worth it smile
The only advice I'd give is to allow, and encourage older children to be involved with baby eg singing songs, talking to her etc. This helps entertain baby and also strengthens bond between siblings. Plus it's soooo lovely to see grin

ohforfoxsake Fri 06-Sep-13 13:39:21

Mine were 5.5,4 and 2.5 when I had DC4. Agree with the poster who said double buggy so two are contained and two hold-on.

I do my shopping online - I don't think I've ever done a weekly shop with all four.

Larger car is fine. No issues with that at all. Money? Well, I guess you have everything you need after having four!

Winter is coming (it is here up North by the looks of it). Easier to stay in and cosy up.

Logistically it's difficult isn't it? Getting out of the car like you say is a worry, but you get the baby out, the older ones and leave the toddler until last.

I noticed that I was offered a LOT more help when DC4 came along. Take it up, if you can get DP or a friend to do the morning school run then life is a lot easier.

You will get lots of time alone with your baby, and you will make time for the others. Sometimes DC4 can't have instant attention to a cry, sometimes they have to cry just a little bit longer whilst you do something for one of the others but IT IS ALL FINE. grin

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Fri 06-Sep-13 23:18:00

6, 4, 2 and 11 weeks here! The first couple of weeks were horrendous: I had an expected c-section and then it was the last two weeks of term, with Sports' Days, Reception Induction for DC2, Pre-School Leaving Assembly .... you get the idea. We then went on a two week beach holiday the day after term ended with a five week-old! Talk about in at the deep end!

However, you just get on with it! Tbh, the most frustrating thing I find is that he finds it hard to feed in bed first thing if all the others pile in to love him! DC3 (2) refers to him almost always as "My brother X". He is loved and entertained and boasted of (which is all lovely).

My DH is away at least one night a week. The hardest thing is the Baby crying when I am putting the others to bed but, as was said above, if you know them to be safe, a little crying doesn't hurt them. I load/unload the car pretty much as said above. I try not to have them all when I shop but, over the Summer, we managed (usually with DD3 in trolley seat and DC4 in the trolley in the car seat). Sometimes the elder ones being daft was harder than managing DC3!! The Baby just fits in with the established routine. Having begun to go through the night a couple of weeks ago, I am more human and we got over being 45 minutes last for eveything once I was fully on my feet again. I would have liked longer to recuperate and rest, but that was never realistic, especially with a self-employed husband and not living that close to family.

You'll be shattered, but you'll manage!

joasia1 Fri 06-Sep-13 23:34:29

If I can do it, then anyone can. When I had my fourth baby my other children were 6, 4 and nearly 2. He was born with severe brittle bone disease and he had 2 broken legs at birth, just my moving him I could break him. You'll be pleased to know that yes I survived mainly on my own as my husband worked away 5 days a week. My children are now 15, 13 nearly 11 and soon to be 9. They have all grown up as well adjusted kids who do remarkably well as school. Don't get me wrong they argue all the time between themselves, but they are the best of friends. Unfortunately for me we are no facing another hurdle in our lives as my husband has left to be with his mistress 17 years his junior. Even though I have felt desperately low over these last few weeks I know I can do this. So no matter how worried you are about coping with 4 children you can do it and they are the greatest blessing you can have. Good luck to all of you who are expecting your fourth baby!

Threetofour Mon 23-Sep-13 21:27:10

Hiya! I am 37 + 3 with number 4 and feel exactly the same! I have felt like this before every one though I'm sure it's normal.... The fear of the unknown! Feel free to pm me maybe we can share the madness as it unravels! Mine are 5,3 and 19 months

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