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Just one more

(7 Posts)
jenny77 Sat 25-May-13 15:36:59

I have got two beautiful daughters 5 and 3, and am from a family of 3 myself which I think has left me craving a third. Lots of reasons this would be a bad idea...Our house is too small for our family already, we run our own business so can't afford time off- and both of my daughters were born by emergency section. A third would definitely be a walk in section.
So many people with three children have told me I should stop at 2 - but there is something inside me that feels unfinished. Silly to ask this question...but should I stop now? I don't suppose broodiness ever goes away..?

libertyflip Sat 25-May-13 15:38:40

I think in your position I would stop at the two beautiful daughters you have. Best wishes whatever you decide to do.

scaevola Sat 25-May-13 15:46:38

You don't have to make a permanent decision right now do you?

Who knows what life might look like in a year or so.

clara85 Sat 25-May-13 21:28:15

I feel similar except my two are only 2 & 1..... Its all I think about every hour of every day because I cannot decide what to do.... logically for me I find 2 very hard work, both still wake at night, I had terrible SPD from 20 weeks both pregnancies, and had 2 sections also....

no advice to offer - is your DH supportive?

Like most I think why take the risk of another pregnancy, another section, then its SIDS and any other problems the baby could have - we only have 3 bedrooms, car cannot fit 3 stage 2 seats .... cannot afford mat leave etc etc!!!

For me I feel I want a 3rd , looking 5 / 10 / 15 years ahead I want a big family, but the thought of the baby stage again makes me sick with worry and its now or never as I would not have a bigger age gap than I would have if we TTC now.... good luck xxx

clara85 Sat 25-May-13 21:30:58

eta - I also worry about middle child syndrom or giving enough 121 time to both kids if we had another but as you are from a family of 3 then you have good experience of this smile

Libertymae Sat 25-May-13 21:50:54

I've got 3 DC, and although I believe only you and your DH can make the right decision for you, I thought I could offer some insight.

My DH comes from a big family, and wasn't really up for a 3rd DC at the time, but I def wanted one. I took the view that we would never regret doing it, but would more than likely regret not doing it.
As soon as DC3 was born, I knew our family was complete and
6 years later, I feel nostalgic at times for babies but never broody. It can be chaotic at times with 3 (I work too), and tiring when they are small of course, but it's wonderful, tbh, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The downsides are - if you have a 'normal' car eg seats 5, having a friend over each is difficult; booking holidays/hotels for 5 is harder than for 4; you have to manage your time with each kid; you have to look out for middle child syndrome (I think mine def has it!); you have to budget that bit harder for food/treats and there is less to go around; the logistics of getting everyone to the right place at the right time can be challenging (and actually f***ing impossible sometimes - this has had me in tears before) .... but honestly, they are very minor niggles and are far outweighed by the huge amount of love and joy your child brings you.

I wouldn't let a small house influence your decision, and if you work for yourselves perhaps you could juggle your time to work around another baby.

That all sounds very 'pro' a third, actually, meant to be more impartial. But perhaps a tonic to those who have told you to stop at 2, if you feel you want a third. And of course, just 'cos it was right for me, it may not be right for you.

Maybe spend a day pretending you are preg with your 3rd, and then spend a day thinking you are stopping at two, and see how you feel afterwards?

ZingWidge Wed 10-Jul-13 12:34:02

we have 6 and I still want more.

It feels unfinished.

If I was told I can't have any more part of me would sigh with relief as they are exhausting, but a bigger part of me would be heartbroken.

I don't understand why I want just one more! actually two more....

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