Having our next one...

[greeneone12]

Hello

I am not sure if more than one child is classed as a 'larger family' but would appreciate opinions anyway.

We have a lovely daughter, 2 yrs old. I really would like another but my partner has said we can't even consider it as we need our own house first. Currently we live in my 4 bedroom family home, with my Dad. My little girl loves seeing her grandad every day and we are paying a small rent to live here.

If we wait until we own a house it will be up to 5 years at which point DD will be 7. I feel that gap will be too large ad we will also be mid 30's and I am not sure I will have the enrgy to go back to the baby stages then.

At the moment we also pay £600 for a childminder 3 days a week so in my head I feel it would be better to have a 2nd now and get all the childcare fee's out of the way so that when we do have our house we won't have any fees to pay as the kiddies would both be at school.

In a way I wish I was happy to stick at one but there is something physical about wanting another for me. What does everyone think? It's making me a bit sad and I feel like talking to my partner again but feel it won't be any use.

Thanks!

[DeepRedBetty]

Do you have any idea what your dad thinks about this idea? Do you think he's vaguely expecting another one to come along sometime, or was one grandchild quite enough to be going on with ?

Presumably you're taking up two bedrooms at the moment, and you wouldn't need another one for a couple of years - quite a few years if next child is a girl too.

If you're going to be a WOHM with child 2, whenever you have her/him the childcare fees will have to be paid sooner or later, whether you pay them now or in the future. (Sorry a bit waffly there).

Does DP understand that it's not as easy to have a baby mid thirties as late twenties?

[MamaBlue4]

Have you thought about renting a house, and saving up for a deposit on one? While your still staying with your dad. May be worth considering if you wish to have a child now and not later when it can become harder to conceive.

[Beatrixpotty]

Can understand why you want another one sooner rather than later.Lots of advantages of having them closer together,they can share a room in your current house,more likely to play together,you can carry on saving up for deposit etc.Would your dad be happy with another child in the house?
If you do wait,a 7 year gap might be harder and DCs may be less close,I wouldn't know for sure though as I only have experience of small gaps.I have had all 3 of mine in my mid-late 30s though and it has been fine.
Think you need to talk to your dad and your DP though,as much as you want another one their opinions will make a difference.