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Four 6 and under. Feeling overwhelmed, esp with school related stuff!

(28 Posts)
educator123 Sun 17-Feb-13 21:43:12

I have 4 and two at school dd1 yr2 and dd2 in reception. I'm feeling quite stressed about the school stuff there is so much more to contend with and worry about than i anticipated!

I'm finding it hard to dedicate enough quality time to the school work and i constantly worry dd1 is falling behind because of me sad DD2 just hates going to school and cries every morning sad

That combinde with the general trying to keep on top of things and give all four some quality time is getting me down. I find it really hard to get out and about with all four alone and struggle to think of things to do that will be possible with them all while i am on my own. And dd1&2 seem to be suddenly arguing loads and tonight i lost it and really shouted at them and felt awful sad i hadnt seen dd1 all day as she had been at a friends and i had a lovely day which i proceeded to ruin.

Any tips would be great as i feel like im just getting through rather than enjoying them atm!

ThreeBeeOneGee Tue 19-Feb-13 21:18:59

Yes, it gets different as they get older, but overall I think that the early years were the most physically exhausting, because you never get a break.

I found that things started to get a bit easier once the younger two started pre-school, because then I started to get some time to myself to recharge and get stuff done.

imip Tue 19-Feb-13 22:13:08

I'm in a very similar position OP. dd1 in y1, dd2 reception, dd3 is 2 and dd4 12 months. The homework is driving me nuts. Reception is ok, two readers a week, but y1 has a homework sheet every week - writing, numeracy, phonics and a picture. Then a homework project on top of that that must be presented to the class every fortnight (6 yrs old, ffs!). Don't get me wrong, I love to do homework with my kids, but I want it to be enjoyable, not a pressure for me and a pressure for my daughters. Dd1 is a bit like me and doesn't sleep in, so while in reception, she would get up early and we would read for about half an hour every morning. However, dd2 is a sleeper, and I struggle to get the time to read with her. She is also less engaged, and it is hard to motivate her. I feel like I am letting her down, but dd4 is becoming quite a handful, and it is difficult to fine quiet time. Dh can help out on the weekend, but the dcs are more interested in playing with daddy on the weekend than doing homework.

With regards to half-term, I feel I have got it a bit more under control (well, we are only two days in here). I do tend to do a lot of day trips with all four, but I usually do it with other parents. Or play dates at ours. I actually try to 'catch up' on play dates during the holidays, as I don't do many during term time, just too difficult. We live in london, so lots of museums etc close, I usually am able to find someone to come along with is, as mentioned upthread, a lot easier with company. However, everyone will have only one or two kids and different age gaps, so sometimes that causes problems with kids dynamics etc. Half terms are easier to fill with only five days. Summer is a lot more difficult.

I have to say I find that I am pushing myself to the limit each and every day. Physically, just carrying one,sometimes two children. Meeting all their needs and demands. Dh is working shocking hours at the moment, and I am finding it relentless. Yesterday dd3 had a friend over with her mum. She said having 4dds looked idyllic in many ways, and while it is, I made it look easy, if that makes sense. Holding dd3 while making pizza for lunch, running upstairs sorting out arguments between dds. Just non stop. Dd4 still waking frequently through the night. I love it, but it is relentless....

girlsyearapart Wed 20-Feb-13 20:37:09

I am with you on that imip I frequently get told by other people that I 'make it look easy' having 4.
I really don't think I do but I am quite strict and I have fairly high expectations from them & never back down if I've said something.
I don't really think that is 'making it look easy' but I find that with four so young there's no room for messing around too much because then they all start!
We also do day trips with other parents so we all have company & it's a bonus to have someone to watch the others whilst you take another to the loo or something

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