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Can you still have a "hobby"/you time with four or more DCs?

(21 Posts)
JohnSnowsTie Thu 31-Jan-13 12:56:04

DH and I have 2 DDs so far, and have always fantasised about having 4 DCs altogether. This isn't set in stone as we plan to see how we get on with 3 (assuming we can have more... not taking anything for granted).

The thing is, creative writing has been my pastime for years and I adore it, plus I find it very cathartic and I feel a lot better when I've got a creative "project" on the go. It's hard to fit it in with the 2DDs at the moment, although I do manage to do some in the evenings and on the rare occasions they are either out with DH or asleep at the same time.

Do you think it would be much harder with 4DCs to keep something like this going? I'm assuming I would still be able to get some done in the evenings, but wondered if nighttimes are more difficult the more children you have, i.e. do they keep each other awake a lot and require constant intervention?

Do any of you have anything you do just for yourself, and manage to fit it in despite having four or more DCs?


MUM2BLESS Thu 31-Jan-13 13:51:50

I have four kids 17 14 11 and 8. I also cm.

I am in the process for learning how to take time out for myself. You seem to take time out at present, so more than likely you will continue with the more you have. You may have to make adjustments to how much time you will have when that happens.

I have never really taken time out for myself in general. However I think its time now. I enjoy gardening. I am looking forward to do that.

what are the ages of your kids?

Hope that helps.

MUM2BLESS Thu 31-Jan-13 13:52:35

cm (childmind)

JohnSnowsTie Thu 31-Jan-13 14:07:35

Hi MUM2, thanks for the response. I hope you manage to get some time in for gardening. For me the writing really makes a difference to how I feel. If I do something productive for myself I feel a lot more enthusiastic about parenting and not like it's all I do... which is how I've felt in the past when I've let the writing slip.

I feel a bit selfish writing this and am expecting someone to come along and tell me to get over myself, it's all about the DCs once you're into multiple figures!

At the moment mine are 2.9 and 14 months.

lljkk Thu 31-Jan-13 14:13:02

Yes hobbies are possible, but must admit I am lousy at multi-tasking, hard to concentrate. Have to wait until they are all asleep or out. Or parked in front of telly for hours.

notso Thu 31-Jan-13 14:24:18

I have four and at the moment my hobbies seem to be drinking tea and sleeping!
I'm really good at one and struggle with the other.
My DC are 12, 8, 2 and 9 months from getting up at 6 to going to bed at 10:30,I get half an hour 10-10:30 completely child free time most week days.
However I am really unorganised although I'm trying to change my ways and I never like asking for childcare for DC during the day, so unless my Mum or PIL offer then I only ask in emergencies or so I can go to the dentist or something.

BadRoly Thu 31-Jan-13 14:32:08

I have 4 aged 11 down to 3. I have been a Brownie leader for almost 5 years now which I love and it is just for me! I also did a 5 week photography course in October when dc4 started nursery.

It can get a bit tricky sorting childcare as dh works away but I manage because I want it to work. We have no family nearby (nearest are 3 hours drive away) so I rely on friends (the other Brownie leader's dh has my dc at their house) or fit things in during the day. I am fortunate to be a SAHM so have 2.5 hrs a day that are mine grin

As for bedtimes, I find I am unusual with other parents with similar aged children in that mine are generally all in bed by 8pm on weekdays as otherwise I get no evening/crap telly watching!

NAR4 Fri 01-Feb-13 16:07:00

I have four DC and due to a very supportive DH used to go to dance classes on my evenings off work, before I was pregnant with DC5. I find I can't do 'me' time at home because someone always 'needs' me for something. Like I said though my DH is very supportive and never objected to me going out for my hobby whilst he took over.

Not sure I will have the energy for quite a while though once DC5 is born. My hobby will be sleeping, for quite some time.

LongStory Fri 01-Feb-13 21:34:16

I have 5 aged 4 (today!) to 12, and work 3 days a week. It's pretty full-on, particularly when the tea-time/bed-time shift starts to include multiple homework. After that I'm knackered, fit for r&r on mumsnet but not much else! Creative enquiry and curiosity have been victims of the past 12 years, as well as patience with people who waste my precious time.

You can do things for yourself, but you have to be pretty ruthless and focused to fit them into the schedule, with supportive husband /parents etc. I have always insisted on one night out a week and recently I have also started running, but the only time logistically that I can fit this in is 6-6.30am.

imip Sat 02-Feb-13 06:12:09

I found with dd1&2 I still has time to knit and sew, however, with the arrival of dd3&4, all this has gone out the window and I have very little time for myself. I've posted in the past also about having much less me time in a sense that I don't wear make up or am as interested in fashion, which kinda makes me sad. Dd4 is now 12 months old and come spring I would love to carve out some time to go running (used to run loads before dds - am now a lot older, heavier and have creaky knees!). I think it is a slow job carving time out for yourself, most especially (in my case) I am so sleep deprived that I wouldn't gain enjoyment from a hobby because I wOuld be far too knackered.

I hope this year is my year to find a little more time for myself. Dh is in a similar situation. Very little time for him to run, though he did get into it a little last spring, over the winter months it became much more difficult. Hopefully cracking dd4 sleep problems will bring us some more energy and extra time!

LongStory Sat 02-Feb-13 18:20:09

I think also it depends so much on the partnership - DH and I both find parenting pretty tough - we love it but we need breaks - so we have deliberately structured the day / week so that we can cover for each other to take time off. Occasionally we say hello to each other, too!

tallulah Mon 04-Feb-13 22:10:00

I started a FT degree course when my 4 were 2, 4, 6 & 7. But I really struggled with an accountancy course with just one at home (aged 2.5 when I started).

Depends on the amount of support/ help you get from DH - in my case loads with the first 4 and zero with the 5th.

MUM2BLESS Wed 06-Feb-13 19:56:21

JohnSnowsTie are you from a large family yourself?

I am one of Seven.

I have not started gardening as yet, but I do have some seeds that I would like to sow. Had two 6 in 1 Packs, but one of them has disappeared, may have left one at the shops ??

The more kids you have the more you will have to share your time, part of the package [smile}

morescribbles Wed 06-Feb-13 23:57:09

Yes but you have to be very determined to find the time! I have five and I childmind and illustrate. When I had four before I started childminding I had plenty of time for hobby time. When I had five I was more determined to achieve something beyond washing up and started my illustration again. It was important to my sanity, I completely understand how you need to do your creative writing! I started childminding to afford the treats for the five and it did take a big chunk of time out of my evenings with housework and paperwork. Now that I'm full capacity with my childminding I have very, very little time for my own pursuits but I have some very understanding illustration contacts who give me longer deadlines. Time becomes very precious when you have very little of it smile

Mum2bless it's interesting reading your words about your family. I'm one of six and I'm childminding with a big family too. Mind you the rest of my siblings only had 2 kids.

amazingmumof6 Sat 09-Feb-13 09:08:19

we have 6 and I make time for my sewing projects (plus my seasonal jewellery business), but it isn't a regular thing.

Whatever is important to you you will make time for it, fear not.

ThreeBeeOneGee Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:01

Yea, but it had to go on hold until the youngest ones started school. Now they are 12, 10, 8 and 8, so I do manage to get some time to myself.

Oopla Sat 16-Feb-13 22:07:54

I have 3 and have been reading the same paragraph on the same page for the last year. Give up this dream of time or yourself grin

SilentMammoth Wed 20-Feb-13 06:41:11

Really good post op.

I've got four dc and expecting dc5 next month. I also work three days per week but not from home. My job requires a fair amount of further study and whilst I've always managed this it has been extremely hard work (should also add that dh is not especially supportive plus works away a lot).

I did used to write (and get published) but really don't have the time any more.

I used to read a whole lot more, and that's not a hobby, and I have very little time for that.

Please dont think I'm complaining; I'm not. But that is my experience. I would do out all over again but my plans for twenty years time do not include bringing up my grandchildrenfor chunks of time!

educator123 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:12

My four are 6,4,2&10months at the Mo and I don't have the time or energy for a hobbies at the moment. I'm hoping it might change in time but I thought it would get easier time wise when they started school but now two are at school I've realised I have a lot more to do with homework etc, lunchboxes once they are in bed and other jobs. At around 830ish I sit down with tea and manage until about ten before I'm in bed and just hope dc four only wakes once!

I used to read daily but don't always manage that now but I think it will all improve once dc4 sleeps and i'm less tired.

Wouldn't change it though

weblette Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:45

It does get easier. Mine are 13, 11, 8 and 5. I started working 3.5 days a week in a school in September, I run a Beaver Scout colony, I run three times a week. Dh helps out to make sure I can do 'my things' - helps me stay sane.


Babieseverywhere Fri 22-Mar-13 18:22:57

Yes, I get limited time to myself. smile

My children are 6yo, 4yo, 2yo and 7 month old baby.

I have two running sessions a my parents look after my youngest two for two hours for me whilst oldest two are in school, the other run my DH parents all four for a couple of hours.

I go to my friends one night a week for our craft night i.e. beading, sewing or cooking cakes etc.

I sometimes go out to swimming/zumba in an evening whilst DH parents.

At home the evenings when everyone is in bed I read, or made chain maille / glass beads, as long as the ironing pile isn't to the ceiling ;)

Tonight I'm going to meet up with friends for a curry smile

I think it depends on how important your hobbies are to you and how much support you are lucky enough to have. My husband works outside the house with a long commute and hence is more than happy to stay in during the evenings in return for me doing 99% of the parenting including night parenting, which is fine as I'm a SAHM.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

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