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From 3 to 4... How hard have others found it?

(31 Posts)
Melody3boys Fri 21-Dec-12 18:52:36

My title says it all. How hard is it going from 3 to 4?
I'm not pregnant but considering TTC for number four.
Some info:
3 boys already...7, 5, 1.
I honestly don't mind another boy so I'm not 'trying for a girl'.
This would be fourth C- section.
A lot if scar pain towards end of last pregnancy.
Slow and painful recovery last time.
Not much practical family support.
I hate being preg.
3 bedroom house.
I can't shake off the feeling that another little person is missing from our family.

MelodyCatsAndKittens Wed 02-Jan-13 17:09:42

Sorry, I've name changed, it's me, the OP.

RB04 Wed 02-Jan-13 18:27:19

Well my older girls are from a previous relationship. I was sure I was never going to have any more!

Part of the reason is because there is such a big gap, I didn't want my little one to be like an only child. My eldest will be doing GCSE's when he starts school so although they love him and he adores them, there is a limit to how much thy want to play with him!! My girls are so close that I wanted that for him as well. Plus I love the whole newborn stage!

Haven't told my girls yet. Middle one will be fine but not sure about eldest. Will do soon though as have certain cravings for things I don't normall eat and a little sickness already. They will work it out very soon if I say nothing!

jenbird Thu 10-Jan-13 20:18:55

My 4th is only 6 weeks but I'd that so far going from 3 to 4 was easier than 2-3. I have a 2.5year age gap between mine and find now that the older two (7 and 5) can help a little. I think when you go past two you have to start being more organised and you no longer have the same expectations of having a life. This baby is by far the most demanding so far but we have to just et on with it and it's not as much of a shock anymore.

We are in a 3 bed semi and I have to say I am desperate to move. I have b,g,b,g so toys for varying genders and ages everywhere. It's driving me bonkers!

mummybto3 Fri 18-Jan-13 23:31:51

I found 3-4 the hardest jump. Mine were DD (9), DS (6) and DS (4) when my 4th was born. DD4 is now 17 months. She was a very demanding baby - not what I had expected. Colic / Reflux / endless screaming.. Only recently stared to be happier. DD1 very put-out and moody when baby arrived and two boys fighting and demanding attention all the time. I wouldn't change it for the world though. I feel totally blessed and I think (and hope) we are doing a good job of parenting them all. It's not perfect but then, what is? I think you need to know your own limits and be honest about what you can cope with? So, have you decided yet...? smile

happynappies Wed 23-Jan-13 22:15:29

I found 2-3 the hardest, but I think that was because #2 was only 18months old and had reflux, didn't sleep etc. I've now got ages 6,3,2 and 4 months. We were living in a teeny 3 bed house having tried to move for best part of 2 years. Last summer really felt tired and so anxious, 4th pregnancy was my most difficult one (not sure if that was my age, looking after 3 under 6, or trying to move house!). We finally moved when my fourth was three weeks old, and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but all over now!! We're still in a three bed house but much bigger with scope to extend, and in the meantime they can share in a number of combinations...

I think you do get more efficient, and things get back to normal quicker. The first weeks are a bit crazy but unlike 1-2 you're used to dividing yourself between everyone and keeping plates spinning... Within a few weeks the school/nursery run was manageable again. Whoever said your expectations are different, that is so true. The work is never done! Have just spent my evening sorting out the kitchen, then sorting out school bags and setting out four sets of hats/coats etc for morning, then putting away laundry, then been out to local shop for top-up shop as won't have time in the day tomorrow. Generally stop working around 9pm each night... But you kind of accept what you need to do whereas when we had two dc's I resented it more and wondered when we'd get a break, when it would become easier etc. I don't mean to sound negative, started off saying 3-4 was easy: my fourth has just slotted in so the transition has been easy, it's just that having four little ones takes it out of me! Wouldn't change it for the world though smile

honey86 Sat 02-Feb-13 12:30:59

im trying for no.4 from experience i thought going from one to two was hardest as that wen ur not used to multitasking. 2-3 was hard only cos they were all under 4 and close together x

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