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Would you be upset?

(7 Posts)
Janus Sat 03-Nov-12 09:32:16

So, talking to a close friend of mine yesterday, she has 3 older children, I have 4 that are younger than hers (youngest being 18 months). She said her and her husband sometimes talk about whether they should have had 4 and apparently her husband said 'no, not when I look at Janus'. I sort of laughed and then asked what she thought he meant. Think it is because my husband works away all week so when they see me they often see all the kids! But, for some reason, I can't stop thinking about it and hate that I am someone's form of contraception! I was actually in tears this morning thinking do I look unhappy or stressed, I mostly feel proud that I have such a lovely family and we all trail around together and now I feel slightly sad. Am I being too sensitive?

happy2bhomely Sat 03-Nov-12 09:41:06

I would be upset and feel a bit sorry for myself. You are not being too sensitive.

I would feel more sorry for my friend, feeling the need to put me down. Why did she feel his comment was worth repeating to you? What effect do you think she hoped it would have? It was a horrible thing for him to say, but even more horrible for her to repeat!

Don't let it get you down.

picklesrule Sat 03-Nov-12 09:41:13

Maybe he meant that he wouldnt be able to cope as well as you do,..or maybe He is just rude! you should take no notice your family sound lovely smile

Janus Sat 03-Nov-12 10:35:43

Thank you. Well happy, apparently she thought it would make me laugh, not quite sure how though! Pickle, I don't think so, her reference was definitely that I always had 'children hanging off me'. I have to see her today and tbh, I really don't feel like it.

misspollysdolly Sat 03-Nov-12 10:45:55

A friend of mine - who is married but they have decided not to have children. They just have cats - once said to me that our family (of four children) was a good advert for contraception shock....! He then sent me an email later saying he hadn't meant it how it came out but that he meant more that it reminded him of the plus sides of not having the needs of children/other people to consider. That made it vaguely better. I think. He has since made a similar comment when I had a slight rant on FB (don't often do this, btw) that you 'don't have this trouble with cays'....! Personally, when I watch him with my children and see him melt at our baby daughter, play on the floor with my two DSs and be an excellent godfather to our DD1, I see someone who would have been an excellent father and who aches because he knows it. His wife - whom I also like a lot - is not maternal and has always said that she doesn't particularly want children. She likes her life the way they live it. He would have loved a child, I reckon.

Don't take it personally OP - its the sort of statement that speak volumes about the person who has said it rather than the person it seems to be about. MPD

misspollysdolly Sat 03-Nov-12 10:46:52


(bloomin' iphone!)

snowmummy Sat 03-Nov-12 10:50:02

Don't let them upset you. You have a lovely family and you know it. My bet is that they're a tad envious.

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