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how did/do you feel when the youngest starts big school?

(11 Posts)
liveinazoo Wed 12-Sep-12 15:34:32

as a mum of 4<17,8,6 and 4yo> i am wondering if im "normal"
i am totally unconsolable that my last child is entering the education system,sucked away from me except at weekends and holidays

at 40 next month and dp and i on shaky ground why do i crave holding a newborn again?

can anyone else share their experiences please and offer any words of wisdom?

bumpybecky Thu 13-Sep-12 13:24:28

mine are 14, 12, 7 and 4 and ds starts reception on Monday next week

I'll be relieved I think as I've been juggling work and childcare since term started and it'll be good to get back to some sort of normal. He was in full time nursery class at a different school last term.

I think it's perfectly normal to be upset about them going to school, especially when it's your last / youngest current child. To be inconsolable though suggests to me that there are other issues. Do you have much in your life that is for you? a hobby / interest / job? it's not good to live completely though your children - rewarding as they are, one day they'll all leave home and there has to be something there for you...

I don't want to sound harsh, I do mean to be sympathetic smile

slipperandpjsmum Sat 15-Sep-12 16:04:16

My youngest started school this week and I did feel heartbroken. As I walked out of the school gates I thought this is the last time as shall be doing this. Why does time have to move on? My eldest is 16 and I miss the little boy he used to be.

Its horrible when they start school those first years at home are so precious.

I have a career and work full time and it doesn't make any difference to how I feel. Sending you a virtual hug live

insanityscratching Sat 15-Sep-12 16:15:16

I cried for a whole half term when youngest dd started school tbh. I'm still sad that I won't ever have a little one at home again but I'm reconciled to it now. Mine are aged 25,23,19,17 and 9 so I've had little ones around for a long time. I have though enjoyed every minute of having dd and relish evenings weekends and holidays spending time with my baby.

yessirnosir Sat 15-Sep-12 16:16:34

Last one going to school last year was definitely by far the hardest. I had been the mother of young children for so long, it did feel very much like that was who I was. I know many think that's subordinating yourself to motherhood, but I think most jobs I've done I've felt like they are a huge part of who I am and your job just changed, and it's more of a redundancy than a resignation.

One year on, in some ways I feel even more nostalgic for being a mother of small children, especially as my youngest's class is quite dominated by eldest siblings, so there are a lot of younger siblings and indeed pregnancies and I have come to realise even more that this really is it for me. On the upside, I've lost 3.5 stone, am very fit and do a day's volunteering in a charity office every week in term time with real people who don't have children - indeed I sadly worked out I could just about be the mother of most of those I'm working with.

So yes, I think it's totally normal to be sad and I think for a lot of people they would always like just one more. But, it gives you time for other things that can be worthwhile too and you get to show your children that there's more to their mother than being Mum and that's something they should aspire to.

I have answered as if you're a SAHM, as I assumed you were from your post, if not I'm sure there'll be a WOHM along in a minute to say why it's good for them to be at school in that situation too.

lljkk Sun 16-Sep-12 20:36:52

Bit lost, there is so much to do with my time & hard to know how to choose what is reasonable.

amillionyears Sun 16-Sep-12 20:43:59

Relieved.
I think you have other issues going on as well which is confusing and upsetting for you.
Approaching 40,50,30 whatever,can be unsettling at the best of times.
Also you say you are in a rocky patch with dp.I think you may want a newborn to love,and for you to feel love that may be missing in your relationship at present.

MUM2BLESS Tue 18-Sep-12 21:09:03

Got four kids.

When youngest started full time felt a little emotional, Started childminding not too long after. Took my mind off it. Now cm six.

I enjoy the times that I do get to myself as life can get very busy.

Felt emotional when I picked up one of mindees who is in reception and gradually getting ready for full time shortly.

MUM2BLESS Tue 18-Sep-12 21:12:28

Also Regarding age I felt great when I got to 40. Its just a number. Being in good health and strength is something to be grateful for.

I think society can be very negative about getting older. Sometimes we have such negativeness about reaching 40 etc that when some get there they feel so sad. Its something to be happy about.

3littlewomen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:12

Hi Zoo, I can so relate. DC4 started school in September... Still not used to not having someone at home with me.

BFP today... So all going well, will have a young one at home again in 9 months. Just felt too young for it all to be over sad

liveinazoo Wed 24-Oct-12 17:31:21

thanks all for the replys
little zoo is very happy at school and settled in beautifully
im still feeling a bit lost but she greets me with big smiles and hugs and lovely pictures and stories of "her adventures" while we have been apartsmile

i love kids,i realise no matter how many are in my brood i probably always will

ive began helping when her class go out and about into the community and i love the interaction with them all

makes me feel quite nostalgic for them as babies ,but also makes me very aware just how precious my time with them is and as a result we have all enjoyed much more laughter and fun times

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