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Becoming a larger family

(14 Posts)
kag2007 Fri 10-Aug-12 22:28:55

I have lurked on this board for what seems a very long time as I was in the position of desperately wanting DC3 and DH being dead against it. Now I find after 2yrs of telling myself 2 was best and convincing myself of all the reasons not to have more, I am pregnant with number 3! Now all the reasons I told myself this was a bad idea for are freaking me out, so please reassure me. Main concern is my DS will be 6yrs and DD 4yr and they are v. close, I am worried baby will be like an only child and days out/hols will have us splitting up constantly to accommodate different ages. I am also worried that at 36 yr old myself I will be exhausted by everyone's very different needs. My DS is about to start school and DD in nursery so we really were ready to move on to next phase of our family life, now i'll be straddling both. My husband though far from delighted is very supportive and neither of us would consider ending the pregnancy. My head is spinning but if this had happened a year ago I know I'd have been over the moon, please tell me it will all work out!

Musomathsci Fri 10-Aug-12 22:32:42

It will all work out! My three have v similar age gaps to yours, although the elder 2 are even closer in age. I thoroughly enjoyed baby 3 as the other 2 were in school for. Much of the time, so it was easier for me, and I could relax. Yes, there was some splitting in order to fulfill different needs, but ou adapt to what you have and I've never regretted no 3. Brilliant now that older 2 are leaving the nest - I still have my baby at home....

kag2007 Fri 10-Aug-12 22:40:18

Thanks Muso that's good to hear. I keep thinking once their 20yrs, 24yrs and 26yrs the gap will seem nothing smile

sweetkitty Sat 11-Aug-12 23:04:04

My first 2 are only 18 months apart then there's 2 1/2 years between nos 2 & 3 but it felt like a huge gap, one of the reasons we had no4 grin there's only 22 months between them. I feel like I have my big 2 and my little 2.

tiredteddy Sat 11-Aug-12 23:07:19

I'm expecting dc3 in jan. My ds1 is 8 and ds2nearly 5. So def a big age gap now. I think them being at school will be easier with the new baby. I do have some worries about the little one being like an only but I wouldn't say no to number 4 so we shall see!

ColourMeWithChaos Sat 11-Aug-12 23:20:35

I have big age gaps between my kids - 4 between 1 and 2, 4 between 2 and 3/4, 5 between 3/4 and 5, 2 between 5 and 6 and 2 between 6 and 7 - 17 between my eldest and youngest.

I've enjoyed having a variety of ages to spend time with always and all the DC are very close to each other.

OhTheConfusion Sat 11-Aug-12 23:32:35

Don't worry Op, I worried about all those things too and DC3 really has completed our family smile

DS is 9, DD1 is 7 and DD2 10mths. Lets just say DD2 took a while to come along and as the time (years!) went past I worried more and more about the age gap because DS and DD1 are really close.

In reality they both adore their new sister and it heart warming to watch them try to include her in the things they do (that said DD2 objected loudly to being the 'patient' in yesterdays game hmm)

kag2007 Sun 12-Aug-12 07:24:03

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. It's lovely to hear how it all worked out for each of you. I've had a bit of a reality check as I've had some spotting yesterday, I was so upset at the thought of pregnancy ending I realised how much I really do want to do it all again and it's given me a bit more perspective. Fingers crossed I'll still be on this board in 9 months!

MUM2BLESS Sun 12-Aug-12 13:16:16

Everything will be just fine, wait and see. kag2007. congratulations on your news which is good news.

Your still very young at 36. I had my last when I was 39. You may need to do things abit different now that your family is growing. I am sure your two kids will enjoy becoming part of what you do when your lovely little gem arrives.

After having my four, I am still learning. Take the help when it is offered or ask for help if you need it. Does not matter if Tuesdays bib is on the baby on saturday as long as you use a bib ,LOL.

My advice is take ONE day at a time, plan ahead but try not to worry. It will only stress you out and you will not be able to enjoy every stage of motherhood.

I also childmind six. I am looking at how I can make things easier for myself and still be the best mum and cm I can be

I send you a hug grin.

kag2007 Sun 12-Aug-12 20:43:26

Thanks Mum2 for your reply. Unfortunately it looks like this pregnancy is not to be as bleeding continues. I'm sad as DH, though refusing to commit until we know for sure, is making signs that this episode will draw a line under our contraceptive carelessness sad back to convincing myself that 2 is grand I guess....

hmmmtricky Mon 13-Aug-12 14:23:46

Oh Kag - sorry.... Just posted on my thread before reading this. Big hugs.

ColourMeWithChaos Mon 13-Aug-12 14:35:23

Kag I'm so sorry. Not really sure what else to say but big hugs. Xxx

MUM2BLESS Tue 14-Aug-12 10:22:05

So sorry to hear that.

tiredteddy Tue 14-Aug-12 11:08:01

So to hear you news. Hope you are doing ok? Thinking of you x

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