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Caring for elderly parent (s) who takes the responsibility?

(9 Posts)
MUM2BLESS Sat 04-Aug-12 20:36:50

I am one seven kids. My dad died over 8 yrs old. Mum leaves on her own. She is in very good health. I am the oldest of two girls. I do not leave near to my Mum. My sister is so hand on with helping my mum.

Just wondering who takes on the reponsibilty of looking after elderly parents or do you share the responsility? is the famale in the family the one who does this.

I am not saying that our elderly parents are not able to do this, but it really ensuring that they are okay, a bit of tlc.

If you are an only child ,do you altomatically do this?

slipperandpjsmum Sun 05-Aug-12 19:17:56

I was adopted and brought up as an only child. My dad died 7 years ago and since then I have taken his role in caring for my mum. Sometimes its hard, working ft and having 4 dcs. My Mum is in her 80s and has various health conditions.

One of the biggest challenges is holidays as we would not be able to leave her and finding a holiday that suits everyone is, I have discovered an impossible task!!

MUM2BLESS Sun 05-Aug-12 21:16:50

Thank you for sharing that slipperandpjsmum

MUM2BLESS Sun 05-Aug-12 21:17:30

Does mum live with you?

My mum died a long time ago and my dad is currently in good health, but if this changed I would expect to sort out his care (I am the eldest child) I would not have him live with us because he is not a nice man, but would arrange carers or a home if needed.

I would expect my siblings to help too but we all live within a 10 mile radius so it would be fairly straightforward I think.

DHs parents are older and not in great health. He has 2 sisters and I think one of them would probably do more than DH but they are all spread out across the country. I don't think we would take MIL in to live with us, TBH, but possibly FIL if needed. I could more likely look after him without going nuts smile

amber701 Sun 05-Aug-12 21:31:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MUM2BLESS Mon 06-Aug-12 09:02:48

Thanks for sharing everyone.

slipperandpjsmum Sat 11-Aug-12 09:43:50

No she doesn't live with us. However, if in the future her health did get worst I would need to consider it if carers into her home were not working but can't imagine what it would be like!!!

MUM2BLESS Tue 14-Aug-12 13:59:28

Thanks for that,

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