Big jump from 3 to 4?

[Ranelaghmammy]

Interested to get experiences of going for a fourth. Big difference or just similar level of chaos?

[HJwantstosleep]

I'm looking at potential dc4. How old are your others?

[missnevermind]

House seems fuller with 4.
Cant seem to keep track of them all.

I walk into a room and think Ohh there is another one in here!

[Ranelaghmammy]

I have 5.5, 4 and 18 months. Am probably nuts for considering another.

[buttonmoon78]

I have four but the age gap is much bigger - 14, 12, 5 & 8m. The biggest jump (IMO) is from 0-1!

[Pickthatupplease]

Not that much of a jump really. Ours are 9, 7, 5, 1 and there's a huge amount to do every day for them, but just about manageable

[Ranelaghmammy]

Thanks for that.

[Vickles]

I have 3 kids (7 yrs, 3 yrs who's starting school in sept) and 1 yr old.
I don't feel finished yet, and I feel quite tearful and upset at the thought of 'shutting up shop'!
However, I am running to full capacity at the moment.. and the thought of another baby in the house, fills me with dread!
But, ask me in a year.......xxx

[SilentMammoth]

I didn't find it a big stretch but it did take a bit of getting used to.I had 3 under 4 and that prob made it a bit harder.

[BarnYardCow]

The appointments need a bit more planning, quiete hard to bf with the needs of the others. Had to change the car for a people carrier but love it!

[PipFEH]

I'm tittering a little at this thread. At this moment I think having 3 is easy peasy - my older 2 (3.5 and 2.5) are at pre-school this morning and I am on mumsnet while my littlest (8.5 months) is happily munching on cheese on toast, having just tidied the house while he had a nice, long nap. Easy peasy! If I were typing this at 5pm, having had the big 2 back for several hours with the prospect of bathing 3 on my own looming ahead I'd probably be saying something quite different!

I personally think that a 4th would stretch me too far - as much as I fancy another (and I really do) I have to be realistic about what I can cope with.

[Cuddler]

I have 3 aged 4,3 and 2,and i am 5 months pregnant with number 4.I am feeling really excited about this baby and tbh im not worried about how i will cope.I know everyones different,like some peopple are mad on doing housework etc but i just enjoy spending time with the kids,i did find going from 2 -3 more difficult than 1 -2,but i have got used to it,we are home educating our kids so they are with me 24/7,and even though occasionally,if i dont get a break,i do feel like im going a bit mad,most of the time i find it,not easy,but managable and fun!

[yellowhouse]

I had 4 in less than 5 years so going from 3 to 4 was very hard, as was going from 2 to 3. Fast forward nearly 3 years though and life is getting better and easier in many many ways. Going out on my own with 4 is becoming just about manageable; my third is starting school in September so I will only have one left at home...but the best bit is that they are all interacting and playing together and we are at that great stage where most of the time all of the children still enjoy the same things, so days out are easy to accommodate. My 7 year old is also quite babyish in many ways and quite happy to watch Peppa Pig with my nearly 3 year old!!

I have to say that I do love having 4 and now that they are a bit older I also love having them so close as they do keep each other entertained all the time (even though they do fight quite a lot too!). Also as a final point it has been great for my eldest daughter to have a sister after two brothers, and I love seeing their bond grow bit by bit every day!!!

[lollystix]

I would say yes tbh. my eldest was 5.3 when Ds4 arrived and I'm now weaning him and starting to potty train DS3 and it feels like a never ending grind. Maybe I'm in a more stressful situation as I've just emigrated with them all so network of groups and friends has gone and I'm starting again. It's getting expensive too as the eldest 3 are just constantly eating.

What I've found worst is that peoples perceptions change a bit. It's like with 3 they thought you're a bit mad but with 4 they just all think you're crazy and start passing comment. We get starred at lots. You have to learn to become immune to it.

[sweetkitty]

Another one who says yes. Our first was 5.10y when no4 arrived. Although we adore him he's 2 now it's very hard at times. Maybe it's because we have no family support but going anywhere seems to take an age. It truly is a constant grind.

That said I love having four

[jellybeans]

I went from 2 to 4 (twins) and it was a huge difference. Obviously I can't speak for the dif between 3 and 4 but with 4 things were chaos! (I have 5 now!) My twins were fairly easy but it is the whole bigger car, bigger house, washing, mess, holiday costs, school/activity costs, shoe costs etc that is tough plus the general level of noise. With 5 I find it hard to give them all attention. But DC5 was very difficult baby and had severe reflux (he stopped breathing and choked all the time) so he never slept much, I always assumed no5 would just slot in! Housework now is on another level! I have friends with 3 and they don't seem as chaotic as those with 4/5+.

[RandomMess]

Didn't notice #4, kept forgetting we had her!

[NotEnoughJamOnTheBread]

I've got 4, I had my first at 30 and my last at 39. There are some days it's a piece of cake, other days total madness. Most of the madness comes from the amount of juggling I have to do to make sure I support my kids with their school work. That's certainly something I didn't factor in when thinking about having my kids; how much pressure I would feel under from external sources rather than when my front door is shut with the family safely inside the house! I can cope with the vast amounts of washing, intermittent bickering/arguing that comes with family life, but it's the school pressures that are bogging me down at the moment. My family dynamics definitely improve in the summer holidays with no school runs, SHARE days in the classroom or homework.

[Fiwee78]

I have 3 kids the youngest 5 and oldest 11! I'm now 33 and sooo want a fourth. Youngest starts school this year so would really be starting over........ Am I mad????

[Fiwee78]

I have 3 kids the youngest 5 and oldest 11! I'm now 33 and sooo want a fourth. Youngest starts school this year so would really be starting over........ Am I mad????

[StellaAndFries]

I have 4, (10,7,4,3) there is only 13 months between dd3 and dd4 so I found it easy when she arrived as I was already used to sleepless nights and all of the baby paraphernalia! Now that dd4 is 3 I couldn't imagine starting all over again with a new baby as we're so out of touch with buggies nappies etc.

[Vickles]

NotEnoughJamOnTheBread - Food for thought about the school work.. That's something worth thinking about.. My 3 are easy at home, going out is harder, but we manage.

[TaperJeanGirl]

I have 4, (7, 5, almost 3, and almost 1), and I wouldnt say having dd3 (number 4) has made things very much harder, other than needing a bigger car, my house really couldnt have gotten any more chaotic than it was with 3, that might just be my lunatic kids though.......I agree with the poster that said peoples reactions do change tho, when I had ds after the first 2 girls, lots of people said, oh you have your boy now you can stop, then genuinely could not understand why I would want another, I get a lot of the "oh you have so many kids" comments, having 4 apparently puts you in the "mental" bracket......

[Fiwee78]

I work part time have enough bedrooms and could fit another in the car!! But just not sure how the other kids would adjust? I

[imip]

Similar level of chaos so far. I have four dds, 5, almost 4, 2 and 4 months. for me the complication is having a newborn. She needs feeding, dd3 gets jealous; dd1 has a conversation with me, dd2, wants some attention, dd3 tries to take dd4 dummy. I'm sure it'll get better, and I am enjoying it, but I do find it very exhausting at the moment. I guess if you can do three and suspect you want another, then you could do four... It's me done though, would always want another, but then would like to even up the numbers :)