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Help - I need to de-stress!

(7 Posts)
LizinFrance Sun 12-Jun-11 20:35:43

Hi there,

I dont post on here that much, so apologies for this one being a bit of a rant - but need some advice. I have 4 kids, dd 12, ds 10, ds 4, dd 1. Hubby very helpful and supportive. We live in france (have done for 7 years). Have no family here. Have lots of 'good aquaintances' but no really close friends. Kids generally very good, although ds1 can be quite demanding. I stay at home and dont seem to have any time to do stuff for me. Anyway.........I feel really stuck in a rut of moaning, shouting at the kids, grumping at kids and hubby, asking them to do the same thing over and over again...etc etc etc. My dad not well in the Uk so finding that hard, but have no real reason to be such a horrible, miserable mum. am finding it really hard to 'turn myself around' and need some advice please. I suffered with pn depression after Ds1, but dont feel i'm there yet. It always seems to be harder when all 6 of us are together - hubby and i 'get' at each other, kids bicker etc etc.

Gosh, what a lot of waffling. Sorry. Hope you have all had a good week end. Thanks for listening. Liz

Hunterswish Sun 12-Jun-11 22:01:48

Hi smile
Do you feel better now you have vented? smile
I have 7 kids and no 8 on the way , I know how it feels when the whole family are together, the bickering can be endless and, yeah I snap at the old man too.It has not helped today with the rain all day...just a recipe for world war 100 smile lol
sometimes you just have a s**t day smile
Take care

LizinFrance Sun 12-Jun-11 22:28:10

Thanks for your reply. Yes, a good vent does help. How do you manage to 'stand back' from yours when they start? Cheers, Liz

LizinFrance Sun 12-Jun-11 22:29:15

Sorry, meant to congratulate you on no 8. They must keep you very very busy. How old are they all? Liz x

Hunterswish Mon 13-Jun-11 18:42:42

hI :
ds 23, dd 20, dd 15, ds 12,ds 10, dd 3 and ds 18 months baby no 8 will make 4 of each.smile
How do I switch off, it all depends on what kind of day I am having if I am really honest, sad I listen to how the 2 boys are and the 10 yr old is the clown, those 2 complain when it comes to chores and if 1 feels they are doing more than everyone else. The 2 youngest are terrible as they have the "scream" yet if I intervene they are suddenly laughing again and chasing each other smile Dh normally steps in mainly when they are out walking the dog, because that is when I will get a call from either the 12 yr old or the 15 yr old complaining about each other. That's when DH says sort it out and don't come home till you do !!!
You have to stand back to a certain degree I guess, as they have to learn to sort it out amongst themselves, to understand how to negotiate also...besides if you got involved with every session you would be at it all day !!!!!
It's the 2 in their 20's that I find the hardest sad
They don't live with me so I guess that's just 5 at home smile
We need a vent, nothing we say or do will ever really make the family truly appreciate us.They have always said if our job was paid, how many staff would have to be employed to do our jobs? smile
mind you I find when I am stressed and snappy the kids react to that...I am saying all this, when right now I am screwing!!!!! Just ate dinner, the youngest DS was throwing his food, the 10 yr old kept singing and putting his leg on his chair, the 12 yr old ate like it was his first meal this year! the 15 yr old disappeared of for half an hour claiming to be on the loo, the dog is still waiting to go out and my feet are blistered from all the walking I have been doing because I have no car at the moment .........
So yeah screaming and shouting is loud tonight lol
Take care
smile

LizinFrance Mon 13-Jun-11 20:29:47

Hi Hunterswish

isnt it a horrible side of human nature that makes you feel better when you know someone else is going through the same or worse!!! lol I do hope your day ended a bit calmer - it such a viscous circle isnt it - they shout so i shout, they shout louder so i shout louder................

First time ever i'm dreading the summer hols. We get 9 weeks here!!! hubby taking 2 weeks off at beginning and another 2 at end of hols. Need to get planning what im going to do as ds10 in particular needs a constant 'project'!

Calmer day here - 9pm and all kids in bed, and all the jobs done! Showing off now hey?

Take care and hav a peaceful evening x

Hunterswish Tue 14-Jun-11 06:41:55

Thanks smile lol I know what you mean !!! Oh all 4 are in bed by 9 and the 15 yr old is bed by 10...I am normally in bed about 10.10 !
See ! by hearing that you are not alone makes it all the more bearable smile
I couldn't let you think it was all roses here !!!!
Now I am up since 5.45 because it is so light here.....
9 weeks holiday omg!!!!!
I am dreading ours and of course baby is due 11th September, C-section booked for the week before so loads of fun to look forward too ! :0p
Anyway in amongst my shhhhhh to try and keep the 2 little ones quite (fat chance!) I better start getting ready for the day .
Lovely venting with you ! We must vent again smile
Take care smile

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