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If you have an age gap And that child is the last one

(21 Posts)
Ishani Thu 26-May-11 19:59:36

How does it work for your family, I feel we ought to have another baby because Ds will be the only boy after a 6 year age gap from his three older sisters. I know we might have another girl but I just feel he will be like an only child growing up. I wouldn't want them any closer than 3 years apart though so DH says there's no point in that case.

pickgo Thu 26-May-11 23:47:48

Deffo have another - my youngest is 10 years younger than next sib and he's like an only child, something I always wanted to avoid, wish I'd had one more to keep him company.

dottyaboutstripes Fri 27-May-11 09:38:33

I had a boy after three girls - and a 6 yr gap as well! We actually went on to have 2 more boys, each time with a 2yr 4/5m age gap.

I don't see why he'd feel like an only child - my girls absolutely adore their little brothers and include them in stuff. When we had our first boy, it was not so much like him being an only, rather having 4 mummies grin

MerryMemoo Fri 27-May-11 09:40:52

I have a 12 and 10 year old and then a 1 year old. I do think we should have one more as she's like an only child but I just can't face another baby!

slipperandpjsmum Sat 28-May-11 17:54:43

My children range in age from 15 to 2 the gap between the youngest two is 6 years. I agree with those who say its not like having an only child. Everyone plays with him.

JLo2 Sat 28-May-11 20:38:13

I agree with Slipper. Have a six and a half year gap between DS3 and DS4. He is definitely not like an only child - everyone plays with him and spoils him rotten but he also gets taken here, there and everywhere when he's older brothers are doing other things. Life does not revolve around him as it would if he was an only child and he is used to having to share my attention too.

Ishani Sat 28-May-11 21:24:14

Phew that's a relief because hubby said no anyway, he's to be bought a dog when the girls leave for university instead.

jshibbyr Wed 15-Jun-11 17:44:15

theres a ten year age gap between me and my bro, and a 15 year age gap between me and the youngest of step siblings (the others are between my bro and the youngest), i am an only child, and left out due to being 18, if you have a large age gap make sure the eldest is not the permanent babysitter (ok in my case it went further i was the full time parent for my lil bro until 2 years ago) but seriously it's not fun having to stay in every friday and sat night and not having a social life

Ishani Thu 16-Jun-11 09:06:18

I used to baby sit my 10 year old brother hen I was 18. Only I didn't I went out and left him so you were far more responsible than me.

Bonsoir Thu 16-Jun-11 09:09:56

My DD has two half-brothers who are seven and nine and a half years older than she is.

She is definitely not like an only child - she does lots of things with her brothers and they help her grow up as she needs to hold her own with them (they are pretty unforgiving!) if she is to join in.

darleneoconnor Thu 16-Jun-11 22:25:02

There's over 5 years between mine and they play together all the time. I think too close siblings are too competitive and jealous of each other.

3CherryPies Sun 19-Jun-11 11:57:32

If it were me I would want another. I have 3 kids, oldest 2 are 16mths apart and very close. Then there's a 4 year (to the day) gap between dc2&3.

As dc1&2 are so close they often forget to include dc3 (12mths), or 'can't be bothered with baby games' hmm.

They're 5 and 6 now, obviously too grown up to play with a baby.

Also I grew up as preactically an only child as my borther and sister were 13 and 16 years older than me. Very lonely (dog didn't help either, sorry!)

Hope you find a solution x

pepperrabbit Sun 19-Jun-11 12:13:03

I'm the eldest of 4, and there's 16 years between me and my youngest brother, 9 years between him and the nearest sibling.
When he was born I wasn't bothered with him at all, I was doing my O levels, there was lots of babysitting and having to be quiet and not having my friends round (I was a bit me, me, me perhaps! smile). My sister, 15, thought he was fantastic and just the most wonderful creature, but no idea what my other brother thought as he was 9....
The point is, my 2 brothers have a completely different set of family memories, different family holidays as my sister and i were too cool old to go with them. Younger brother, has very sophisticated tastes as my parents got bored paying babysitters and just took him everywhere with them, restaurants, hotels etc and he also benefitted from them being more relaxed with just 1 to look after most of the time after having gone through the other 3 of us.
We are all very close now, but def a generation apart from my youngest brother.
My mother has always been pleased she had an even number of children and boys v girls. She says she never regretted the big gap.
No idea if that helps!

QueenOfFeckingEverything Sun 19-Jun-11 12:17:42

I have an 8yo and a 10mo, and tbh I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm not having any more either.

HarrietJones Sun 19-Jun-11 12:19:57

I have a 11 year old, 9 year old and 8 month old. I'd like another but depends on whether I can get my body back together post dd3!

us4downhere Thu 04-Aug-11 13:00:39

Ahh this thread gives me hope! My DC are 7 and 5 and I really want another but DH has lots of stupid reasons why not, and a big age gap is one of them!

I will tell him to read this and then he'll have to think up another excuse! grin

FullTimeStudentNurseAndMumOf3 Sat 13-Aug-11 00:53:54

I'm worrying as I have 5,4 and a 1 year old. Oldest 2 are so close fighting or as best friends and youngest idolises and follows them everywhere. They are very good and let him join in but I'm very, very tempted by another to even it out a little. Mmmmmmm

Olivesandfeta Tue 16-Aug-11 00:15:08

I have ages 15, 13 then 7 and 2 babies 15m and 4m.

My 7 year old is very much the middle child but she has come into her own since the babies were born and adores being a big sister with them looking up to her for a change. She was a bit spoilt when she was the youngest, in a good way though. There are benefits!

Theas18 Tue 23-Aug-11 22:43:23

6yrs isn't a huge gap tbh and anyway an " only" child has a different childhood to one with siblings close in age, but it has benefits too- more money to go around and so much more adult to child one to one time. It can be a great childhood if you parent to the strengths of the situation surely?? I think you view is a bit blurred by being a mum to 3 close in age- look at the ups as well as the downsides...

fidelma Thu 25-Aug-11 23:40:05

I was an only child and loved it,very happy childhood and close to my parents......
However I have 4 dc 11,9,6 and 2.Each age gaps bring different things all to be relished.What will be will be,you need to stop sometime.
I would focus on do you want a whole other person in your life rather than the age gap iykwim.

duchesse Mon 29-Aug-11 14:41:07

I'd like to but I'm 43 now and it would be pushing my luck. Plus DH says NON! DD3 will be like an only but with siblings. Plus she has cousins the same age so can have the experience of close siblings with none of the inconveniences.

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