I am 14 weeks pregnant with number 4 and just lost my mum last Sunday - she has been very ill for a while and we knew that there was always a possibility that we might lose (she was on the waiting list for a heart transplant) but nothing can prepare you for when it actually happens, she was only 50 years old and an absolutely amazing, selfless, extremely kind and generous person. I'm not really sure why I'm posting on here really, perhaps it's therapeutic, I don't know. In any case, I think it has some relevance in this section.....
A few weeks ago, there I was wondering if my dh and I had made the right decision to go for number 4, all the usual things going through my mind - how will I cope with 4 under 7? How will I cope with having to drive a bigger car? Worrying that people will think that I am total nutter for having any more, wanting to hide the pregnancy for as long as possible etc etc etc but after going through the pain of the last few days and being one of 5 myself, it has confirmed to me that we have totally made the right decision. I am not sure how I would be coping at the moment if it wasn't for my siblings and I am so thankful to my mum for them - it has brought us all closer together and we have been able to both cry (a lot) and smile about all our shared experiences. We have been able to share the burden of inevitable formalities that go hand in hand with somebody dying and also have peace of mind that there enough of us to support my father who is pieces right now. We have different qualities to offer to each other and just to the situation in general. I take great comfort in knowing that when the time comes for me and my dh one day, my children will have each other.
My children have totally amazed me too with how they are dealing with all this, I am so very proud of them. My eldest is 6 and a half and has been so thoughtful and just wonderful, my 4 and a half year old has shown emotional intelligence that I would never have thought a child so young could display and my 20 month old, well, she's just little but it's wonderful for all us to know that at the moment she still remembers my mum. We know this because the first thing she did when she went to my mum's house after the funeral, was say 'nanny' and then she went looking for her. Although this pulled on our heart strings, it was also just lovely that she has a memory of her for now. The great thing about having my children is that I can see qualities that my mum had in all of them and I now very much look forward to the time when I can look at our latest addition and think, 'that's just like my mum'. My mother absolutely doted on her grandchildren and was very happy and excited about our number 4 and although I am so very sad that she will not get to meet this latest grandchild, I, too, am now able share her excitement about this new baby without my previous worries. I take great comfort in the knowledge that there will be another little bit of her living on in this new life that will be joining us next summer.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.
Larger families
My mum passed away
12 replies
Zoffany · 03/02/2011 13:49
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.