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Desperate for number 4 but hubby not

(17 Posts)
madmissy Thu 25-Nov-10 12:51:42

Does broodiness ever go? Or the want for more children? Don't get me wrong I am very lucky to have 3 perfectly healthy children, and I swore that no3 was the last. But I am now pining for number 4. Hubby all ready for the snip.

sad

madmissy Thu 25-Nov-10 13:07:33

must be the only one! grin
i must be mad after all

madmissy Thu 25-Nov-10 18:53:28

ok its official, I am barking mad to want more
feel so sad though

tootsweets Thu 25-Nov-10 18:58:03

You are not the only one! I have 4 and I was sure that would be it. Now I want just one more but my dh not as keen. Wish there was an off switch smile

toomanychristmaslights Thu 25-Nov-10 19:01:52

Had last dc 8 years ago and had to wait till now for dh to change his mind about having another. ttc # 4 now grin

He talked about having the snip but I wouldn't agree. Hope your dh doesn't take as long to change his mind.

CarGirl Thu 25-Nov-10 19:01:57

I threatened to leave (and meant it), although hasn't your dh already got 4???

It is a huge financial committment, something that is only just dawning me as they get older......

madmissy Thu 25-Nov-10 19:27:19

DH has a son from pervious marriage. So he has 4 already with our 3.

i would never leave him and I think that this may be one thing that I will lose on.

mamatomany Thu 25-Nov-10 19:37:43

The 4th is 25% more work, I didn't believe it would make "much difference" my goodness it does and he isn't even crawling yet.

madmissy Thu 25-Nov-10 19:46:41

people said the same about 3rd but I have not found it that bigger change.
we have a 7 seater and a roomy 3 bed house

i think realistically i need to accept thats it and respect my dh choice sad

verybusyspider Thu 25-Nov-10 20:59:48

I'm in the same boat, waiting for the broodiness to go but my stomach flips when I see a new born or I think about never doing all again... although like you I don't think it'll happen, dh would bend if I pressured him but thats no way to agree to have a baby sad

CherryPie3 Tue 30-Nov-10 15:11:37

madmissy I could've written your OP

My youngest is 5m and I think 'how on earth could you be the last'

DH is ready to go book himself in for the dreaded snip. I won't let him, not yet.

I feel awful because I pleaded for dc3 and swore it would be the last as I get very bad SPD but holding my baby I think I don't care how tough pregnancy is because you are worth every shedded tear'.

So here I am, wanting number 4 and I'm scared to even mention that to dh because I feel he'll do the snip himself grin, seriously tho, it's a sad time knowing thinking my childbearing days are over. I'm only 25, dh is 23.

Sorry I'm not much help. In fact I've just brought depression to your thread - very sorry!!

madSEmissy Wed 01-Dec-10 13:02:38

hiya!

i swore blind dc3 was last too! i am almost 26 but my hubby is 34 and wants to enjoy us now. which i totally get and i am very lucky as hubby works real hard for me to be able to look after the lo's at home.

he's still adamant though so i fear that is it.

i can totally see his reasons and he seems to have thought hard about it. i wouldn't want to push and it break the camels back iykwim?

heymango Wed 01-Dec-10 15:35:20

You are not mad at all! I have just had my 4th (and last), but even this time after around 4 months I did find the broodiness creeping in when I saw newborns. However, I have found that it has faded (9 months on). I think you get to a point where you feel quite in control of things and settled and perhaps the pining goes away.

It is such a big decision though, and ideally you need to come to an agreement with your DH - if he is adament that he doesn't want any more, perhaps 3 is a good compromise?

welshandproud Wed 01-Dec-10 15:53:00

I think the leap from 2DC to 3 was the hardest for us. DC4 fits in nicely and creates balance! 2DD then 2DS.I still do sometimes feel broody.Not sure that will ever stop but sometimes the heart has to be over ruled! DP had snip now so no going back. grin

Lonnie Wed 01-Dec-10 17:04:11

No I dont think it ever goes away I would still love another but logically I know we cant afford it if we want to give the kids the lifestyle we feel they should have and my body I am not convinced could do another pregnancy (and I do habour a hope of once not peeing when I sneeze another pregnancy would put a stop to that)

heh babies are great though and I would love one more

MUM2BLESS Wed 01-Dec-10 18:38:57

Hiya Madmissy

Your not mad. I have four b,b,g and b.

I wanted to go again. This was quite a while ago. We talked about it and I kinna got use to the idea of not having any more.

Loved being pregnant felt special. I got to realise that I am special when I am not pregnant too. [grin}

I am not childminding FIVE children.

It took a while to come to terms with no more. But my kids need me even though the youngest is now six.

I enjoy some ME TIME. I can go to the shops BY MYSELF or have some quite time. I am going through another stage in my life. Sometimes I have had my challenges but there is never really a dull moment.

I would not swap my hubby he takes time out for the kids, takes them places, cooks, shops etc etc.

It has to be a joint decision that both of you are in agreement with.

I look after a yr old girl which I enjoy.

All the best in your decision making.

mummysmadhouse Wed 01-Dec-10 20:13:19

I am in a similar position..me and dh talked for a while aobut going for dc3 and decided to take the plunge with the outlook that we would not have anymore after no.3

Now number three is 8mth old and i watch my first two dcs palying so well that i worry my dc3 will end up left out and four would be much more balanced...BUT i have really found 3hard work they are 4 and under things seem to be getting easier now..so i worry whether 4would send me over the edge. Although i would love four..im not helping much, my Dh said he would have a fourth then the snip..now we have to decide if us and our little ones can really handle another baby confused

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