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When do you stop, how do you make yourself stop and why do you stop having children?

(32 Posts)
alfiesmadmother Fri 17-Sep-10 12:15:37

I just LOVE being a Mum. I love every age (up to 9 my eldest is9), I love having a baby, I love my large family of 4. My youngest is 9 months and I feel desperate for either time to freeze or to have another couple.

Somebody punch meE!

comewhinewithme Fri 17-Sep-10 12:19:06

I had no 6 16 months ago and am starting to feel broody again.

I would love to know how to just switch it off.

Hassled Fri 17-Sep-10 12:21:24

I thought I'd always be broody - but my pregnancy with DC4 was very tough and I think that knocked all broodiness out of me. I was older, too, so maybe it's an age thing. Maybe your body tells you enough's enough after a while.

alfiesmadmother Fri 17-Sep-10 12:21:59

Well I 'only' have 4 , need another couple to catch up to you! Is it hard with 6? How old are yours? Mine are 8,7,4, 9 months...

alfiesmadmother Fri 17-Sep-10 12:38:58

Yes prbably hassled, I am 30 and still feel very young, I could even wait 5 years and have another few...

EdgarAllInPink Fri 17-Sep-10 12:42:47

currently I'm lookng at a newborn nd thinking 'Christ, aren't you 18 months old yet?'

I only have 3.

surely you can summon some level of ennui with baby stage?
and with never fitting clothes because of prenancy?
and the endless cycle of feeds/meals for small children?

idobelieveinfairies Fri 17-Sep-10 13:12:12

I am/was the same, i love being pregnant, having a screaming newborn in the house....everything about motherhood i enjoy.

I have 8 children and asked to be sterilised during the c-section with last set of twins. I knew the broodiness would never ever fade so i had to put a stop to it. I am hoping every month that a little egg squeezes through the clips...haha but 6 years on i don't think it's going to happen!!

comewhinewithme Fri 17-Sep-10 13:28:31

My dc are 12 ,11,9,7,4 and 16 months.

Hassled is right my body is knackered now and my last two labours were bad -so God knows why I feel broody.

DP is getting the snip soon .

CaptainNancy Fri 17-Sep-10 13:28:52

Edgar-yes... that odd moment when baby doesnt lift his legs up to wipe his bum when you've asked him to confused

Then you remember you're starting from scratch again...

MUM2BLESS Fri 17-Sep-10 14:35:02

Interesting topic. It got my attention!!!!!!!

I thought I was the only one who felt simular to this.

I have four children. I wanted another as I really loved being pregnant. I spoke to my husband who listened and told me how he felt.

I really found it hard at first to come to terms that I was not having anymore children. I felt special when pregnant. Eventually I realised that I am special when I am not pregnant too grin

We wanted to give the best to the children we already had.

I gave up work when my seond was almost due. I did not have any work to give up that maybe one of the reasons why we perhaps had four.

Looking back now I realised that it was the best decision not to have anymore children. I have moved on to another stage in my life. My kids need me in a different way now.

I am also a childminder of FIVE CHILDREN. Would you consider a career with children ie childminding, fostering or adopting maybe. You both have to know whats best for you.

We thought about fostering, but thats on hold right now.

I got married in my 20's, children in my 30's and started my business in my 40's. I feel really great about life!!! NOT RESTRICTED BY AGE!!!!!!!!!!

How does your partner feel? Its important that its a joint decision. Its not easy when one wants another and one does not.

My baby is now 6.

All the best in your decision making !!!!!!!

TheLimeFairy Fri 17-Sep-10 19:33:57

My youngest (of 4) is 7 months now. I knew when I was pg with him that I would want another but that this would not be the right thing for the whole family (mainly financialy) so as soon as he was born DH had the snip so the decision was made.

This was the right thing for us (although I still feel broody, I feel good that the option of more isn't there) but I think if you and your OH agree with more and it won't be detrimental to the DCs you already have there is no problem with having more.

largeginandtonic Fri 17-Sep-10 21:26:01

Wotcha IDBIF.

OP i really don't know. I am waiting for it to go. I still feel like i could have one more, some days anyway.

I was pregnant back in May but lost the baby sad

It was a surprise. I sort of feel like one is waiting in the wings now. We will see...

Dh deployed for 8 months so no chance till next year anyway!

PacificDogwood Fri 17-Sep-10 21:30:57

DS4 is 6 months old (others are 7, 6, 2) and I am done, so very done.

I have reached capacity of what I can cope with, physically, mentally and emotionally.

I, too, loved being pregnant and even enjoyed the thrill of giving birth, but surely even the longest pregnancy and delivery come to an end and then you have a child to look after wink.
I can only stretch myself so thin, in so many different directions, at any given time.

I am done with having babies and am a tiny bit whistful about it, but also somehow relieved.

idobelieveinfairies Sat 18-Sep-10 15:52:56

Hi there LGT.....hope you and little un's are keeping

humanoctopus Sat 18-Sep-10 17:06:02

I too have 6 and would have kept going forever if i didn't have an ectopic that removed my last tube and my response to broodiness (which had always been to have another). My dh would keep going forever, so he was no help!

gibbberish Sat 18-Sep-10 17:10:20

We have 4 dds. I would have carried on having another 40 probably but dh put paid to that by having the snip when I was 31hmm

Am glad now though that we did stop at four. Is a nice, manageable number for me.

cazzybabs Sat 18-Sep-10 17:16:37

I have 4 dds and my dh has said no more . To be far we only have a 4 bed house and have run out of money and time for them all

Danthe4th Sat 18-Sep-10 17:18:56

I'm 43 now and had a mc 2 years ago and am just realising that I'm no longer broody. I'm finally clearing out the loft of baby equipment.
I've got 4 dc age 15,13,8 and 5 and would carry on trying but I don't think its going to happen and to be honest I've lost that desperate feeling that i'm running out of time and I feel much more accepting that the family is complete.

stressedHEmum Sat 18-Sep-10 21:18:36

I have 5 and would have loved another one, to be honest. But I had 5 terrible pregnancies, hyper-emesis, pre-eclampsia, spd, blood clots and pregnancy myocardiopathy.... I spent most of my pregnancies in and out of hospital, on drips, on meds, complete bedrest. I also had 5 v. difficult deliveries, 4 back to backs and 1 transverse lay which the doctor turned manually and literally tried to pull the baby out by hand. It was all very James Herriot.

My heart and lung specialist during my 5th pregnancy told my husband and I that another pregnancy would likely kill me or, at the very least, leave me invalided. So the choice was taken out of my hands and DH went straight on the list for the snip.

I'm still quite sad about it, really, but DS4 is 7 now and we are well away from the baby stage. I can't really imagine starting again now. I think that my body is letting me know that it is too old (44) and knackered and, while I still love babies, I can live without another one.

Insanitybecomesme Sun 19-Sep-10 13:58:01

I have 6, the youngest two being 7 months, I am seriously broody at the moment but dh went for the snip in march because whilst my pregnancies have been fine my deliveries have not been and another pregnancy especially if it were another multiple could cause serious harm. I know though we are very lucky to have 6 lovely children.

soooobroody Mon 20-Sep-10 11:20:35

i have four and have been trying for no five for a yr now mine are 17,9,8,5 .I was positive after no 4 that i wanted no more but the broodiness crept up on me .

buttonmoon78 Mon 20-Sep-10 14:09:14

I have 3, ttc no4 (only just though!). I thought ds1 (dc3, now 3) was our last but I am just so broody! I think this one will really be our last though. Cars, houses, hands, times, brains all have a max capacity and I think mine is 4!

colie Thu 23-Sep-10 22:12:16

I have 4 and still in the "new baby haze" with latest. I just know I have ran out of patience and often, sometimes my children don't get the individual time they need with me.

Enough is enough, my life is now about crowd control and I feel, more restricted than it was with only 1 or 2 so know there is no way I will have anymore. I also know this because I was sterilized when I had my last c section grin.

sweetkitty Thu 23-Sep-10 22:21:27

Everything pacificdogwood said, I have 4 youngest is 4 months so still at the gorgeous yummy baby stage. I think part of me will always be brooch but I am so done now. Four pregnancies with SPD means I never want to be pregnant again, I think I have reached my limit in every way.

Maybe if I had enough money to afford round the clock help when pregnant then maybe but That's not going to happen so DH going for the snip.

mamatomany Sat 25-Sep-10 16:07:35

I think you "know" when you're done i love the baby stage but no way am I doing this again, i'm knackered.

I wouldn't want around the clock help anyway SK, we had a holiday nanny once who had the kids up breakfasted and in the pool before we were even awake. H and I came home a bit sad because we didn't feel like we'd had family time and we missed the chaos grin

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