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MNHQ here, after your thoughts on investment (the money kind)

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RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 09-Sep-16 16:39:57

Hello all

We've been asked to speak at an upcoming event focused on women's attitudes towards investing and the investment industry - so we thought we'd ask you for your views.

Any thoughts on the following (or on related matters) would be much appreciated - thank you.

How do you manage money in your household? Do you do it all? Or do you split the duties with a partner, if you have one?

If you do split money management with someone else in your household, how do you divide the duties? Is it by timeframe (everyday vs. long term), amount (daily outlays vs. big ticket items), or something else?

Are you different from your partner when it comes to managing money in your house? What would you say each of your attitudes are? How does this affect the ways you manage money in your household?

Have you ever thought about investing in, or actually invested in a stock-market-related product? If you have, why? And if not, why not?


pitterpatterrain Fri 09-Sep-16 16:49:40

We have similar attitudes. I would not say we are super-frugal but we are more savers than spenders and both have a low risk / need a buffer and savings mindset.

We agree how much goes into the joint account, how much we save, and have a saving goal. My DH has the online codes etc and he enjoys taking a look at the status of the current account (shared) and offset savings whereas I am less interested in checking that on a day-to-day basis.

Regarding investment - the only thing we have in the stock market is 1) our pensions and 2) my DH gets shares from his work. Given our current financial goals/situation and the volitility of the stock market I am not interested in investing that way at the moment. Our focus at the moment is saving for our goal by putting it all in our mortgage offset.

BombadierFritz Fri 09-Sep-16 16:55:52

I organise everything. we dont have investments and just put savings against the mortgage so I am probably a very cautious risk averse investor. once the mortgage is paid off though I want companies I research

specialsubject Fri 09-Sep-16 18:19:15

I'm puzzled at the difference between 'women's attitudes to investing' and everyday sexism. Why should being female make a difference to money management?

MumsFlouncingOnASummerHoliday Fri 09-Sep-16 18:28:13

I do everything. DH was historically very bad at self management, not in a heavy debt sense just spend for today. He likes me to just tell him what we have available and manage it all.

I have a rolling twelve month fairly detailed budget spreadsheet. I check a few line items each month just to make sure we're roughly on track.

I have a savings, pension and retirement savings budget spreadsheets too.

We are on a fairly low household income (one teachers salary and three DC) but through living well within our means (moving upNorth helped a lot with this) I walk miles to do the food shop at multiple places, majority of our clothes are second hand, most of our purchases are second hand and planned and we try to keep things nice so we sell on its at no loss when we cease to use them, we manage to squirel a bit away most months.

Purchases not in the budget are funded by me selling excess possessions. As a family we agree which things to sell.

If we want a big ticket item we talk about it, I crunch the numbers (sell stuff if necessary) and i say when it'd be feasible and what the consequence/ knock on/ payoffs would be and we then discuss how much the item is needed and if the consequence is worth it.

I invest in several stockmarket related products for each of us; SIPP's and stocks and shares ISA's. We put small amounts away but very regularly each little chunk builds with interest and the years are ticking by so the pot is steadily growing. I tend to go for shares that are FTSE100 and fairly reliable dividend payers so we've seen growth (on an annual basis) even in the more volatile times).

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Fri 09-Sep-16 19:27:18

How do you manage money in your household? Single parent household. So I need to budget with forecasted income and benefits.

If you do split money management with someone else in your household, how do you divide the duties? I do it all Single parent household.

Are you different from your partner when it comes to managing money in your house? My attitude when I had more investable free cash was to put away for the future via pension, isas, cash savings. So some risk.

Have you ever thought about investing in, or actually invested in a stock-market-related product? Yes I have. Quite simply investing in cash is not going to provide a sufficient return for 40 years away.

BUT women's attitudes towards investing and the investment industry - like some other posters on this thread I have concerns. Some of your questions are very simple. All adults should be investing for their own future. This includes pension, mortgage repayment, repayment of debts including student loans (ignore martin lewis), savings for a rainy day, how not to run up credit card debts, reading the small print (my absolute bugbear) - every adult in this country should own their own financial decisions - if you haven't bothered to read the small print how can you own your decision? So basic financial mathematics. I then go on - understanding your rights eg if you are not married. As a pp said, none of these are just womens issues. They are common sense for all.

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:36:52

I am a sahp after having my 3rd DC. I had a daughter from my previous relationship who my dh has taken on 'as his own'. Giving up work to care for my children was very hard because although I was never a big earner I enjoyed my job and I like financial independence. I currently have some savings and my dh gives me money for activities with the children plus pays for my car, dental, etc. I would never make a big purchase without consulting him. We live quite simply, don't have fancy holidays or clothes etc. We are saving for a bigger house which is our priority. Dh saves a substantial amount (over 1000 a month) but this will stop when we move as it will be used for our mortgage. I constantly try to save money for example budgeting, meal planning, shopping on eBay for toys and clothes etc, even though we don't 'need' to, but by doing that we have managed to save a deposit and have a comfortable life and can afford for me not to work while our baby is little. I see this as a luxury that we can afford only due to not having other luxuries - we are not especially blessed with money, just careful. I have trouble seeing my Dh's earnings as 'our' money which I need to get over. Essential purchases for they house/kids are made from joint account but if it's something I want I still buy from my own savings which are soon evaporating! We never argue about money, because dh knows that I have sacrificed a lot to be a sahp and it isn't the easy option.

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:38:42

Oh, I should add- we have no debts except our mortgage and my car. No cards or loans or overdrafts. This definitely gives us incredible financial freedom and again is something we have worked hard to achieve and have sacrificed luxuries to do this.

Kit30 Fri 09-Sep-16 21:06:15

We're both self employed and so have our own money but make all major financial decisions together. Whoever earns more contributes more to our family expenses. We both had our own properties & savings pre marriage so had had to learn 'finance' by ourselves and neither of us had monied backgrounds, in fact very blue collar. I was first in family to go into higher ed and my DM was a single parent on benefits when being divorced got you some very funny looks.
I still don't think that most women are comfortable handling money or taking control of their finances.
There needs to be more emphasis on financial management/responsibility being taught at school for EVERYONE. I've spent time with my niece before she goes to uni giving her some basic financial tools (and all my contact details are in her phone, just in case) because she was essentially clueless. She's asked if I'll talk to some of her friends too 🤔
I work alongside lots of 18-25 year olds who are, frankly, over indulged snowflakes who truly believe that they're entitled to anything money can buy but who have no idea how those things (cars, holidays, nice place to live, etc) are paid for or that (surprise!) you do actually have to pay back the credit card company.
My best advice is that if someone (a potential partner in life or business) avoids discussing money issues with you, run for the hills and don't look back. Professionally and personally I've known women (and men) whose lives have been derailed by financially dishonest or careless partners.
I'm careful (not mean) with my money because I know what it's like not being able to pay for essentials (my DM didn"t always eat just to fed us) and I'd never want to be in that position again.
I've saved and have a pension etc but I've always done things like continuing to pay the mortgage at a higher rate even when interest rates went down, shortening the term. My children have small pensions already. I think I'm fortunate to be where I am now but I don't think I'm lucky. I'm relatively financially secure because I worked really really hard to get to where I am.

Noofly Fri 09-Sep-16 21:08:10

I do the bulk of the investment in our household. I have a lot of money tied up in the stockmarket through individual shares (I actively trade, mostly on the AIM market) and various funds. I am happy taking a high level of risk though I tend to stay away from highly specialised funds.

There does seem to be little interest in stockmarket investment on Mumsnet- the default always seems to be to tell posters to buy property when they have come into a windfall. That's far too much hassle for me. grin

AtSea1979 Fri 09-Sep-16 21:57:41

I am a single parent, I broke up with my XP mainly because he was useless with money. I would save for things and he would get in to debt to have things immediately. I managed all the bills as I didn't trust him to do that. I add all my outgoings for a year and divide it by 12 then add £100. Anything left over from my income is saved. Some for long term, some for holidays.
I've never bothered to top up CTF or pensions as I prefer to have access to my money when I want it.

80sMum Fri 09-Sep-16 23:33:39

How do you manage money in your household? Do you do it all? Or do you split the duties with a partner, if you have one?

I do everything.

If you do split money management with someone else in your household, how do you divide the duties? Is it by timeframe (everyday vs. long term), amount (daily outlays vs. big ticket items), or something else?

Not applicable to our situation.

Are you different from your partner when it comes to managing money in your house?

Yes. I do it and he doesn't!

What would you say each of your attitudes are? How does this affect the ways you manage money in your household?

We are both quite "careful" with money. We both believe that we should live within our means and we never use credit. As we have the same attitude towards money, DH is happy to trust me to make the decisions regarding where we invest and which accounts we have.

Have you ever thought about investing in, or actually invested in a stock-market-related product? If you have, why? And if not, why not?

Yes, we have. The reason? With interest rates on cash almost at zero, it's worth taking some risk in order to achieve better returns.

WhatsMyNameNow Fri 09-Sep-16 23:53:27

How do you manage money in your household? Do you do it all? Or do you split the duties with a partner, if you have one?
If you do split money management with someone else in your household, how do you divide the duties? Is it by timeframe (everyday vs. long term), amount (daily outlays vs. big ticket items), or something else?

I do all the bills and day to day stuff (utilities, cars, tv license, insurance etc) but DH does the investing and bank stuff. I try to avoid online banking as I don't trust myself not to make mistakes. DH is far more qualified to deal with things such as pensions and investments and I'm more 'qualified' to deal with the day to day bills. He would be the type to never change his utilities suppliers. I don't work so it also makes more sense for DH to deal with our pensions as he is the one with the salary.

Are you different from your partner when it comes to managing money in your house? What would you say each of your attitudes are? How does this affect the ways you manage money in your household?

We have literally never disagreed about money or spending in 35 years. We trust each other to do the right thing. Neither of us are wasteful but if we want to spend a significant amount on something for ourselves then we could. We don't ask permission. I have bought houses without my DH having seen them - that's how much my DH trusts me.

Have you ever thought about investing in, or actually invested in a stock-market-related product? If you have, why? And if not, why not?
We have invested in all sorts of shares etc. we tend to choose solid sensible products and we don't tend to make any risky investments. We take a very long term view of our investments. We have also invested money for our adult children.

GiddyOnZackHunt Sat 10-Sep-16 01:51:24

DH & I have both at times been a much higher earner than the other. We run our finances separately but have a joint account for household stuff. We have a spreadsheet smile
Our attitude to money differs though. We both like solvency but I like my money to be secure. DH keeps a rolling share fund that he can afford to lose. Years ago it was 3 digits but it has expanded. He likes the 'winning' thing of shares whereas I'm an guaranteed returns person.

chocolatespiders Sat 10-Sep-16 07:58:59

Kit30 what are the basic financial tools.. I think it's great that you have spoke to your niece before uni maybe she can speak to her friends and pass the message on.

Do you pay into your children's pensions?

HyacinthFuckit Sat 10-Sep-16 08:08:42

I don't know much about investing. I don't come from a family where there was much money to do it, and now I'm getting to the stage in my life where I might have income to invest, I feel completely at sea and don't know where to start. End up focusing on very obvious things like overpaying a mortgage early and getting an ISA, without knowing if this is actually for the best.

In our house, I do most of the finances. Not all.

pullingmyhairout1 Sat 10-Sep-16 08:19:04

Previously invested in stocks and shares but now am saving for property investment for my pension.

Partner and I keep separate finances currently but save a certain amount each for a family holiday every year.

HermioneWeasley Sat 10-Sep-16 09:15:37

I do all of the financial management. We both have the same attitude to money - savers more than spenders and are financially cautious.

We have short term cash savings for holidays etc, and equity based investments for long term savings, as well as pensions. We took the decision as we wanted to supplement pension savings, and recognised that over the long term, this was the best way to get a return. We have an IFA who reviews with me each year.

SvartePetter Sat 10-Sep-16 09:17:01

We have completely separate economy and split everything 50/50 ( at my dp's insistence, I'm the higher earner.) We have no debt except mortgage and are generally very frugal. I invest a little bit in the stock market and also have a buy to let. I'm fascinated by early retirement blogs at the moment! I'd be interested in an event on investments.

yeOldeTrout Sat 10-Sep-16 09:38:46

How do you manage money in your household?

Husband does 90% of it. He has apps on his phone & checks the current balance daily, and transfers money to the higher interest account regularly (or back again). He likes 2 have a very hands on approach to monitoring our cash flow. He also does most of the grocery shopping & can quote pennies per kg prices of porridge at different shops, stuff like that. I tell him if I have put > £100 on the joint credit card in one go.

I have a couple different money pots in my own name, a big investment ISA (in shares) and 3 cash accounts. Plus I do my own pension arrangements & I claim the child benefit.

We are both frugal instinctively thank goodness. We talk over any purchase that is likely to be > £100. Husband has a slush fund of about £1500 he might use to dabble a bit in buying specific shares & stocks.

PacificOcean Sat 10-Sep-16 09:42:51

DH and I keep our finances separate in that we have separate current accounts and our salaries are paid into our own accounts. But in fact everything is paid for jointly and we have no concept of 'his' money and 'my' money. Any particular item might be paid for by either of us, and then we move money between accounts if someone is running low.

We both manage money in a day to day way, but our savings are joint and DH manages the investment side of things. We have invested in the stock market in the past, but not at the moment as we assumed the Brexit vote would lead to a lot more uncertainty and volatility than it actually has (so far).

We have been together a long time (19 years) and have never had an argument about money. That's partly because we're lucky enough to be in well paid jobs, but also because we have similar attitudes to money - we're both natural savers. We do sometimes treat ourselves to something extravagant (eg we spend a lot on holidays) but only if we're sure we can afford it.

Kit30 Sat 10-Sep-16 11:04:38

Hi Chocolatespider! Basic tools for her were
1 balancing your accounts and making sure anything that's pending is taken into account ( easier now tha most transactions are done by transfer not cheque)
2 checking the alternatives when you borrow -ie what the apr means in real money, think about an overdraft not a loan, don't have multiple credit cards and use them to defer payments not avoid them.
3. Read the small print and ask if you don't understand t. No question is stupid if you need an answer.
4 Sorting an insurance policy out for your belongings & be aware of what an excess is and when you have to pay it
5 Divide your yearly income by 13 so that you've got a months money set by for emergencies. Get this up to 6 months if you possibly can ( takes time and not everyone can manage it)
7 Do temp. office work and get an insight into the 9-5; better pay than shops/bars, usually better hours & good for cv/contacts
8 If you share accommodation ( outside halls) make sure that you all sit down and agree how bills are paid & commit it to writing ( it's called a 'Sheldon' contract ); make sure it includes home addresses for out of term contact
9 Use your Student Union/Welfare department for advice - don't leave it until it's hit the fan. Ditto your bank/lender. It's probably not as bad as you think and worrying about it won't make it go away.
10 There's very few things that can't be sorted out financially. Approach it like eating an elephant (sorry!) - in small pieces and expect some indigestion
11 Be honest with yourself about your money

Kit30 Sat 10-Sep-16 11:09:38

To answer your other question, yes I do pay a bit each month into children's pensions; investment is spread over funds some of each are a bit riskier than I can afford myself (age is a factor) but I'm happy with the results so far. A good FA can advise on this.

absolutelynotfabulous Sat 10-Sep-16 14:17:57

I'm living with my long-term partner, unmarried, one child. I'm older-57.

I worked hard until I had dd, now 14. I bought a house, which I now own outright and rent out. I also have a small investment which is set up to pay an income each month. It's a "cautious managed" fund which I suppose sums up my attitude to financial risk. I have another btl property which brings in a small income.

I have a pension-quite a small one- from my years as a teacher, plus some other small investments.

I'm trying to become employable again and I've spent around £5k on piano lessons, books, and piano teacher training. This is in the event of piano teaching becoming a career, or part of a career. I've got 10 years left before retiring.

I'm fortunate that I live with my partner, who has a mortgage on the biggish 4-bed house we live in. However the relationship is not happy and I have to consider the financial implications of moving out, which I will have to do once dd leaves home. For the time being, I'm staying put as my income is low.

Dd has some money put by in an account in a Building Society for when she goes to Uni/leaves home. It won't fund much, but it's a substantial amount for a young person to have to start off with.

Dp has a frugal attitude to money in the main. He runs an oldish car, and hasn't spent much on the house. I've funded much of the DIY/furniture/flooring etc which is another reason I'm reluctant to move on.

I think my message to a person starting out in life would be: never leave yourself financially dependent on another person. Work hard and but don't spend too much money on things that depreciate, like cars; or fripperies like expensive holidays that can't ne paid for immediately.

YABVVU Sat 10-Sep-16 16:18:15

DH and I both had well paid jobs pre DC. I became a SAHM after children and DH took a little pay cut because him travelling around the world left me with too much responsibly as our DD has additional needs.

DH and I have a personal bank account each. We also have a joint account whereby a majority of DH's salary is deposited. The joint account is 'managed' by me although we both have access to the disposable money at all times. If we want to spend a large amount (i.e. over £200) we discuss it.

Our personal accounts are precisely that - personal! I earn money every month as a share trader. I invest weekly and sell fortnightly. Initially I spent 3 hours per week share trading but have built up my knowledge in the industry over time and so now put DS (3.11) in nursery 2 extra days per week in order to build up a portfolio. This extra 2 days nursery per week in addition to the free 15 hours sets me back £560pcm!

It all sounds greedy, I am aware that investors are considered to be materialistic but my main drive is the future of our DD. Her additional needs are becoming more apparent the older she becomes. Im taking risks in the money market every day in the hope that we will be equipped to help her out in adulthood (should she need it).

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