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Totally lost in all things fertility (long post)

(9 Posts)
NicotineRushh Wed 13-May-20 22:01:58

Hey all, kinda new here! This may end up as a long post, totally inviting discussion/conversation/a place for everyone to share experiences.

I have PCOS, and DH has low sperm count and mobility.

I started having periods around 11, but they never became regular. Around 15 I stopped having periods altogether. It took years of research and begging GP's to take me seriously to get diagnosed with PCOS when I was 23. I was offered no 'treatment' or information about what this meant, so that was kinda that.

Enter DH. I told him about my PCOS straight away, he wasn't bothered as was never fully interested in having kids anyway. We had an amazing 2 years, got married, bought a house etc. Then along came my nephew - I wasn't bothered about having kids either, at least that's what I thought until my brother's partner told us all she was pregnant. The sheer jealousy and anger that hit me was honestly scary. I didn't even know why I was mad! Slowly began to realise I was desperate to have children in the future.

DH bonded with my nephew so well, they were best friends from the start, and he's an amazing uncle. He broached the topic with me, asked what I thought about kids, and we both decided that's what we wanted. My GP listened when I told her I was concerned about conception - in our 4 year relationship with frequent sexy times, using no protection whatsoever, I hadn't fallen pregnant. She prompted me to get his sperm tested, so we knew where to start.

DH got tested, low sperm count and low mobility too. Chances of us having a baby naturally are now (in my head) completely 0. A big fat 0. The hospital requested to do a second test in controlled circumstances (doing the sample at the hospital instead of home), but we now can't get those results to give to my GP due to the pandemic.

As it's all on hold I'm just lost. I've been obsessing over everything to do with babies, I am so broody, pretty sure I'm nesting (started sketching woodland scenes on our spare bedroom wall!!) and I just have nobody to talk to.

So there it is, everything I've never been able to tell anyone else.

LouiseTrees Wed 13-May-20 22:05:57

So I also have pcos. Are you on the Facebook groups for pcos and the related trying to conceive group?

Bec18x Wed 13-May-20 22:15:46

Hi @Nicotinerushh
I've just come back on this site after like a year a half and saw your post and know exactly how you feel.
Me and my husband started TTC couple of years ago and i'm still not pregnant but now ready to start again properly. So Im 24 and have PCOS and endometriosis which don't help matters as I have very irregular periods and unsure if I even ovulate as never had a positive opk. Was seen last April in fertility clinic and hubby had low morphology of 1%. We were supposed to have an appointment last month but was cancelled due to covid but over the last year we haven't been strictly TTC. However now we are ready to try again properly. I have ordered supplements that are recommended in the book 'It Starts With The Egg'. My husband is taking a conception supplement too. I am about to finish AF so will be tracking ovulation for the next few months. I was taking metformin but my body did not agree with it so I have some Inofolic to try which is a powder you put in water and was recommended by the fertility clinic. The last few months we both just want a baby so much and I feel so useless and feel like its all my fault. Family members get pregnant and I am so happy for them but jealous at the same time. My husbands parents want grandchildren and are always asking when we are going to have a baby and I always say maybe in a year or 2 just to stop the conversation. People assume because we got married we should have a baby by now but I just brush it off and say maybe one day. Our time will come, hopefully soon!

NicotineRushh Wed 13-May-20 22:26:31

@bec18x Ooh I totally feel for you having endometriosis, my friend suffers from it also and it causes her horrific pain.

I've been taking metformin too, it also doesn't agree with me at all but I'm powering through the horrendous sickness just for some small chance.

Might seem a silly question but what's an OPK? Like you I don't know if I even ovulate and having appointments cancelled due to covid is just completely depressing. I'm a front line worker in social care, so I then feel guilty for being selfish during these times!

Are your parents aware of your trouble conceiving? My mum is, so she doesn't push the grandchildren talk but every time I speak to his mum she asks about it. We're her only hope for grandkids as DH is an only child, and she is desperate. I make excuses like "well when I get my next promotion, when we've done this holiday, when work picks up for DH" just to keep her quiet.

Bec18x Wed 13-May-20 23:02:43

@NicotineRushh the pain can be awful! I'm just finishing AF and it's been one of the worst I've had in terms of pain.

OPK is ovulation predictor kit, you can use them to see if you're ovulating to know the best time.
I'm also a key worker, I'm a midwife so have been going to work still but it keeps me busy so I don't get myself down about things.

So my parents don't know, I've never really spoken to them about it. His parents knew we were trying but only because she opened a package with some conception supplements in so I had to explain. But I've told them we aren't trying anymore just to take the pressure off.
I've just placed a big order on Holland and Barrett for all the supplements and I'm ready to get myself back on it and Make it a priority. I'm also doing slimming world to lose weight to help

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 14-May-20 18:59:13

I was diagnosed with PCOS and subsequently endometriosis.

One poor semen analysis is not in itself totally indicative of male factor issues. His semen test needs to be repeated, a swim up analysis should be done too. The second semen analysis needs to be examined ASAP so it should be done on hospital premises as part of your overall Both of you should be tested further by the hospital in any event, you need up to date test results. To my mind your Gp should be no,longer involved with any aspect of treatment.

I would educate yourself as much as possible re PCOS as this could help you with treatment decisions. The PCOS site called verity is very good. You need to work as a team here and ideally you should see the same consultant and staff at every Hospital appointment.

Do not use ovulation predictor kits, these actually state on those packets their use is not recommended if PCOS is present. These kits measure LH, many PCOS patients have an excess level of this hormone to start with so the kit basically measures that.

NicotineRushh Thu 14-May-20 20:46:35

@AttilaTheMeerkat thanks for your post!

So he has done the second sample at the hospital, however this was 2 days into the covid lockdown. He was told he may have to wait longer for his results however his GP surgery is straight refusing to give them. He has called at least 4 times (trying to catch a different receptionist), and all they say is that fertility test results are non-essential, and that's all they're focusing on at the moment.

My GP wrote a letter to the fertility clinic asking them to overlook the criteria and refer us. I've struggled with weight due to PCOS, and am sat on the line for BMI. I received a letter from the clinic saying they are willing to bypass criteria and bring us in for an appointment, after my GP had received his second test results.

DH is not very pushy, and quite mild mannered. I'm wondering if he called the surgery, gave them consent to speak to me then passed the phone over, could I speak to them and be a little more pushy?grin

Bec18x Wed 27-May-20 10:48:46

So I've been taking lots of supplements I've heard are good for pcos and endometriosis. I had my last period from 7th-14th May which was caused by stopping norithisterone and then we have been bd regularly since then. On the 21st May I noticed my cm was egg white consistency and so that night bd and used pre seed. Yesterday I had dull cramps and had some brown spotting that lasted a couple of hours. I'm thinking if I did ovulate around the 21st then it could be implantation that happened yesterday. It's so frustrating that it could just be my body playing tricks on me and seems to good to be true!

Bells3032 Wed 27-May-20 12:44:45

I am in a similar but different place than you. My husband had a brain tumour in his putiutity gland when he was a child and it damaged where the hormones messages are sent. We are about a year into a 18 month long treatment to try and get him to produce sperm (his previous two counts have shown 0 and 10 sperm) and he started on LH and FSH hormones yesterday which will take at least 4 months.

I on the other hand as far as i know am healthy but i always had horrific painful (though regular) periods and was on the pill from age 16 to 27 and then went onto the coil which is about to expire in August. We agreed to have it out in august and some tests done to make sure all is healthy and fine but we just don't know. I am also very overweight (BMI currently 37) so trying to loose (lost 2 stone so far)

It's been a struggle to come to terms with as i come from a family that pops out kids without much trouble and always thought that would be the way when in reality the liklihood is we will need at least IVF but we aren't sure if that's even a possibility yet. Thankfully my in laws are in a position where they can pay for the treatments and have offered to do so (his treatments are coming in at about £1k a month plus doctors appointment and not including IVF costs) so we are very lucky.

Never been the broody type but since lockdown it's all i can think about. Getting really obsessional and very impatient.

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