Advice on a new ICSI round

[Rd12]

We have had one failed NHS round last year. I am now about to start again with Create. I am unsure which route to take. I have 14 frozen eggs. I am 39 and the frozen round was OHSS. I wanted to do a mild round because I am worried my 14 eggs will be poor quality. But my partner also has no sperm and therefore will need SSR. He is only going through the process one last time and after freezing the sperm last time very few survived. So My thoughts about doing another round was that we can fertilise the original 14 at the same time as eggs from a new round. This is all extremely expensive for us due to all the issues and need for ICSI. We are worried about our jobs at the moment too. My partner is wanting to keep costs down and only wants me to use the frozen eggs. Due to my age and our lack of funds. The problem with this in my opinion is if we loose all of the eggs that is the end as he won't be having SSR again. He has said one last time only. I just wonder if anyone has any advice? Thanks

[ChatWithMe]

Can you convince him to just do create ICSI round using SSR? If it were me I'd do that and if didn't work THEN ask to use sperm donor to try the frozen eggs. Have you ever asked him about sperm donation? I reckon the quality of embryos produced with create would be better but that's just my humble guess. Sounds like a tricky situation to be in so good luck x

[Rd12]

Yes I had not considered trying with the fresh round only. The consultant advised us to just use the frozen eggs but I am concerned the quality may not be the best. He seems to think the quality will be the same as the fresh round but that does not seem to be the case for many people on here. And another consultant suggested a fresh round. Its so hard when they all have different opinions! We will have a donor back up but we are struggling to accept this idea still to be honest.

[ChatWithMe]

Well I guess it takes two to decide so hopefully even if you're forced to do the frozen batch you'll get a BFP and won't need to use a sperm donor. My DH and I are only using our own gametes even if it doesn't work but it's a personal choice everyone has to decide for themselves. Ultimately, DNA is just a set of instructions with the mum's body actually providing the building blocks. It's the emotional bonds that really make the person imho so maybe the whole donation dilemma is overrated!

[ivfgottostaypositive]

I would go for a fresh round and fertilise both the fresh and frozen - simply because a lot of eggs don't make it so you can expect to lose more of the frozen eggs than the fresh ones (apparently so I've read)

I'm about to start a 5th and final IVF round with Create - DH and I are opposed to using donors so this will be our last go. Using donors is a very personal thing and isn't for everyone. We already have a DD and i know personally I wouldn't look at a donor conceived child the same way (just being truthful) x

[Rd12]

Thanks both for your thoughts on the donor situation. It's down to the individual perspective I suppose. @ivfgottostaypositive how have you found Create? We have only just signed up with them.

[ivfgottostaypositive]

@Rd12

I've found them really good which is why I have stuck with them - and certainly compared to other clinics during the current situation they have been much much better

[EarlGreyT]

I would go for a fresh round and fertilise both the fresh and frozen - simply because a lot of eggs don't make it

I think I would also do this if it is an option for you.

[seven201]

Personally I think throw everything (fresh and frozen) at this last go with your dh's sperm.

[Rd12]

@earlgreyt @seven201 thanks or your thoughts. I do think that is the route we will take. It is the route I wanted to take from the start but the dr at Create made me doubt it as he advised just using the frozen eggs. My AMH is good for my age. But I said this doesn't mean the quality is good. He seemed to think there is no reason why it won't work with the 14. He was really pushy about it and my partner always says go with the docs advice. We had seen another consultant who suggested a fresh round. Which is why I wanted to do the 2 at once, we also got a bit of money off a fresh round due to corona. If I only used frozen I could easily end up with none fertilised surely. I just don't see why the doctor doesn't think more gives the best chance. I just don't know if I was missing something, maybe the odds are better than I thought?

[EarlGreyT]

I think my opinion would be different if your partner wasn’t having a SSR which he won’t have again, but as he is having a SSR you have one chance with your eggs so I would want as many eggs as possible to maximise the chances.