Ivf or IUI? Help please ????

[Dodo09]

Hello everyone , I hope you all keep safe and well during this difficult moment.
I have issues to get pregnant due to my partner suffering of DE, he cannot ejaculate during sexual intercourse , he can only through masturbation so we cannot make babies . I think doctors didn’t take us in consideration too much because we are not married , we will get married by the end of the year so hopefully someone will help us. I’m feeling so hopeless and depressed
Anyone of you with similar issues ? Anyone of you been through ivf or iui? Please help thank you

[kell2126]

you could still make babies without medical intervention: have a search on the conception boards for threads on home insemination – lots of folk doing this, and successfully. GL!

[ChatWithMe]

Try something like this home insemination kit. Good reviews. You need to use the ovulation strips mid cycle and when you get a positive ovulation test you get your partner to masturbate into a pot and insert his semen into yourself via the syringe. Will need to try 6 months before moving on to other methods like IUI but it's your only option during lockdown. Good luck.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DECVL68/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_XOWKEb3T55WGG?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[Appiandterri]

I don’t think not being married is the issue, more that fertility clinics have long waiting lists. You should try home insemination first before putting yourself forward for lots of expensive, time consuming tests. Especially as it’s all been pretty much suspended at the moment for the foreseeable future. GP’s generally don’t refer until you have been seriously TTC for 12 months in our area.
Good luck!

[Dodo09]

@ ChatWithMe
I already tried that set you showed me, my gynaecologist said chances are very small with it , we been trying it for a year also during right days but it just didn’t work
But thank you anyway

[ChatWithMe]

Oh I see. Glad you've already tried it so you can move on to the next stage. We did 3 IUIs but they didn't work so we did IVF too. However you might get lucky with IUIs. Much cheaper. NHS is gonna take too long so hopefully you can save enough to do three rounds of IUIs when clinics open. Would be good to get your partner to have a spem sample and you to have a scan but it all costs money and takes time. Wish it were quicker! Good luck. I'm still trying way too long for baby two so I know how impatient you're probably feeling! x

[kell2126]

if the only medical issue is that your partner cannot ejaculate during intercourse, then your chances are higher doing home insemination than doing ivf and at a much lower cost to your physical, financial and mental health. unfortunately one year of trying 'naturally' (i.e. not via ivf) is not that long in the grand scheme of things. do keep trying and i hope it all works out for you x

[Dodo09]

@ kell2126
I’m not too sure anymore if I will ever be able to find the right help for us , it will all cost a lot of money and I lost my job due to coronavirus crisis, my partner has a good job but I’m feeling bad to think that I might be unable to pay for our expensive fertility treatments, we carried all fertility tests and we always split the bill because I still had a job , I’m falling in a very bad depression, I can’t stop crying and I feel selfish because during a pandemic on going I shouldnt think about babies , but I cannot stop thinking that, I’m in tears everyday , plus of course concern about people and protect families from covid 19
Im feeling horrible 😞

[kell2126]

oh @Dodo09 I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time and lost your job due to the pandemic. But you are absolutely NOT being selfish: you're entitled to your dreams regardless of all the crazy stuff happening in the world at the minute. Have you and DP had a good chat about how you're feeling and your worries in terms of going forward with ttc? Obviously there's a hold on everything ivf-wise at the moment but you could still arrange a phone consultation at one of the private clinics for some advice about possible next steps (and the potential associated costs) for when the lockdown is lifted. Then you and DH could use the time during lockdown to think about what you can afford and would be willing to do and pay, and in the meantime maybe keep on trying with the home insemination. Sending much love - please talk to your loved ones – you're not alone xx

[Dodo09]

Thank you x

[Dodo09]

@ Appiandterri
The fact we are not married it is an issue, doctors would rather help a married couple but I’m agree with it, so now we just have to get married quickly just to get fertility treatments either private or nhs , we love each other but we used to plan to have baby first and then marriage but now it’s all over , I also lost my job now so I’m falling very depressed 😭

[everpessimistic]

As long as you live together NHS doctors won’t have a preference whether you’re married or not (speaking as someone with experience). The waiting lists are long, if it’s just erectile problems and all of his other tests are clear, I’d spent the next few months taking every vitamin recommended, get fit, lose weight, get in a good mindset, and when covid is over I would start IUI. In the meantime fertility clinics are still doing initial consultations. If you’re young and healthy ABCIVF Have clinics around the country and aren’t too expensive.

[everpessimistic]

Im sorry you feel this way, I’d suggest talking to your GP and if you feel in Crisis contacting a helpline such as the Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
I hope things get easier for you soon

[FlissMumsnet]

Hello Dodo09,

We are SO sorry to hear you are feeling this way right now.

We hope you don't mind, but when our users feel as you do we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We really hope life looks up and things become less tough for you.

[HD85]

Hi Just seen this thread. We’re currently on our 5th cycle of Clomid and no joy as yet so think IUI /IVF is next step for us. If you don’t mind me asking des anyone know in the UK
If you get the IUI cycle funded and then the ivf cycle funded too on the Nhs. Or is it only one or the other ?