Anyone here sick of the comments and posts how easy it is for childless / childfree?

(152 Posts)

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EL8888 Tue 31-Mar-20 15:28:32

Anyone else sick of the post on Mumsnet and on Facebook etc about how “easy” people with no children must be finding the lockdown and how hard it is for those with children etc? How people with no children must have lots of spare fun time to spend on themselves, plus it’s so easy for them to work at home. Well, none of it’s that easy actually. When fertility treatment is on hold and time is going by all the time (especially unhelpful when you’re in your 40’s). Never mind the key workers, people with ill family and friends etc

One person even posted about how angry she was, they have it so easy hmm

Can no one accept all of this is tough for everyone?! Rather than claiming others have an easy ride

OP’s posts: |
Twaddledee Tue 31-Mar-20 15:38:58


TametheDragon Tue 31-Mar-20 15:41:07

Me. So sick of all of it.

Pishposhpashy Tue 31-Mar-20 15:42:15

It is total shit for absolutely everyone, but I definitely would have - personally - found it easier pre DC.

Syncrows Tue 31-Mar-20 15:43:18

Easy answer to that pish

Sux2buthen Tue 31-Mar-20 15:43:52

It sucks all round and bad situations are magnified. It's hard for everyone.
I wish you every good luck in the future though OPthanks

inwood Tue 31-Mar-20 15:45:17

I hate the way that this is turning into competitive hardship. I don't mean you op, I mean in general.

Truthfully I would have found it even more hard work and boring without DC.


EL8888 Tue 31-Mar-20 15:45:23

@Syncrows grin

OP’s posts: |
stayathomer Tue 31-Mar-20 15:45:34

Take care OP. I think this is hard on everyone flowerscakebrew

EL8888 Tue 31-Mar-20 15:46:13

@inwood exactly, there’s lots of competing and martyrdom

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Geepipe Tue 31-Mar-20 15:47:46

I agree op. Its so shit and its all im hearing. That and people complaining none stop about how shit it is having to be in with their kids. I heard it before lockdown people genuinely worried about having to spend time with their own offspring not knowing how some of us would love that right now.

Stet Tue 31-Mar-20 15:52:12

I agree. Without DD I would find it very difficult to stay motivated so I don't think those who are childless/childfree do necessarily have it easier at all. And it's spectacularly insensitive for anyone to comment how 'easy' others must be finding it without knowing their circumstances.

GrumpyHoonMain Tue 31-Mar-20 15:52:27

When I didn’t have a child and was battling with infertlity that was all I heard for 10 years - now I finally have a baby and people can see how much I love spending time with him it’s changed tack to ‘oh but it’s much more difficult with two’.

Honestly I think people who didn’t battle infertility (at least the people I know) often spend a lot of time wishing away the precious childhood years to some mythical point in the future where they will be happier and more able to do their own thing. I just want to enjoy and be grateful for every moment with my baby

Purplequalitystreet Tue 31-Mar-20 15:54:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sillysmiles Tue 31-Mar-20 15:56:28

I totally understand OP. It is the moaning and complaining about something that many of us are trying to have - a family. I dearly dearly want to tell a few people to go fuck themselves. It's also the silent brags of "spent the day finger painting I need wine" - please bugger off.
At this stage, had things worked, I would have a two month old baby. Yes there would have been different challenges but different, not better or worse. Except there would have been the added massive plus of having our child.

But this all comes under the heading of "things I can't say in the real world".

Other things I'd like to say are - if you child is an unruly, rude little shit and you are noticing this now because you have to spend time with them, well then I have no sympathy for you. They are your child. You raised them.

Syncrows Tue 31-Mar-20 15:56:54

‘Gosh, it’s hard being cooped in with the kids during lockdown’ - fine.

‘It’s so hard being cooped up with the children I chose to have during lockdown. I am unbearably envious of how easy the infertile have it. They can use this time to WFH and save up for fertility treatment which may not work. They can sit and plan their future without those pesky kids they think they want!’ - not fine. Breathtakingly insensitive as seen above already.

iCorona Tue 31-Mar-20 15:59:38

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sillysmiles Tue 31-Mar-20 16:02:02

Also, I've been home for nearly a month now (early March). I'm not finding this particularly hard. I don't think if I had a child or baby I'd be finding it hard either - just different challenges.
But if I say I'm not finding staying home hard - it is automatically because I'm childless, not because I'm just happy to potter around my own space.

Autumn101 Tue 31-Mar-20 16:02:10

YANBU - my DC are young enough to not really be too aware or worried about the whole situation but old enough to not need constant supervising and can sort them selves out mostly. They are a welcome relief to all the anxiety and are the lightness in a dark period, they make me laugh and smile numerous times a day. I’m busy and the house is a mess but that’s it.

My sister is totally on her own after loosing her husband 6 months ago (no DC), she’s desperately lonely and sad and I know undoubtedly I’m having an easier time than her.

Ahundredpercentthatbitch Tue 31-Mar-20 16:02:19

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BrooHaHa Tue 31-Mar-20 16:02:19

People just like to moan, OP. Try not to take it personally.

GrumpyHoonMain Tue 31-Mar-20 16:05:47

@iCorona - I think you should look at the forum you have posted that really insensitive comment in. This isn’t aibu. This is the infertility thread and people who have battled this horrible condition can bloody well have a moan in their safe space without someone who doesn’t understand sticking their boot in.

sillysmiles Tue 31-Mar-20 16:06:20

This is a forum for people, specifically mums, to give their opinions. If very pedestrian options offend you so much your in the wrong place.

You realise you are posting in an "infertility" subheading. What do you think people in this section have in common? Maybe you are in the wrong place, not the OP.

Ticketyboop Tue 31-Mar-20 16:09:02

To be honest, I feel your pain. I was painfully child-free till I turned 36, now have 3 bouncing kids aged 6, 5 and 3.

Until I had kids, I used to think that all those grumbling about childcare were a bunch of ungrateful smug mugs. Now that I'm in the midst of it, I know that kids generate thankless hard work (drudgery) at times. The way I see it is that parents are a blessing for kids, not vice versa (though of course we love them endlessly).

EL8888 Tue 31-Mar-20 16:12:18

@iCorona it’s the infertility section so l think it’s actually you who is in the wrong place. It wasn’t posted in AIBU

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