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Infertility And depression please help!!!!

(12 Posts)
Dodo09 Mon 30-Mar-20 17:13:25

Hello everyone, I hope you are all safe and well, I know it is an hard moment right now for all of us but I’m still planning to make a baby as this is my dream
Me and my lovely partner been trying for over a year to conceive , he suffers of delayed ejaculation (he can’t ejaculate during sexual intercourse but only through masturbation) , we tried to use home insemination kit also during the right days but I’m not getting pregnant , we have done most of the tests and everything seems fine with his sperm and with my womb, so for now we just wasted almost 1k to private clinic but nobody has been able to help us, I’m wondering how could I just get that sperm inside , now we are honestly thinking about iui or ivf eventually , but we really feel helpless and hopeless in this moment, of any of you has similar experience or some of you got pregnant through iui or home insemination kit it would be very helpful to know other stories
Thank you in advance

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 30-Mar-20 21:56:37

So sorry that it’s not happening for you. Has your DP always suffered with delayed ejaculation and has he seen his GP about it?

Dodo09 Mon 30-Mar-20 23:21:29

@ JiltedJohnsJulie
He said he has been like this for a couple of years but he never really been to the doctor before to meet me and decide we wanted to start a family together , we paid a lot of money a private consultant, we did a lot of tests and all tests are fine but he cannot simply ejaculate during sexual intercourse , but nobody takes it seriously , so we just feel helpless , this is why I subscribed on this forum to try to see if there is anyone else going through the same and to find out if they conceived somehow , I’m hopeless at the moment

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 31-Mar-20 09:03:08

* I’m hopeless at the moment*. I do really feel for you. Are you in the UK? If so, I'd try to get him to speak to his GP as they need to check what is causing it. Have a read of this from the NHS.

seven201 Tue 31-Mar-20 14:24:44

Sometimes people just have unexplained infertility. You didn't waste money on tests, you have ruled some stuff out. I know it feels long but one years isn't that long, it may still happen for you. Don't give up hope yet.

I've done one (failed) round of ivf and although it wasn't a joyful experience it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. Was meant to be doing my second round now but covid19 has meant my clinic has cancelled it part way through.

Dodo09 Tue 31-Mar-20 18:41:53

Ours is not unexplained infertility , as I said my partner can’t ejaculate during intercourse so I don’t need to be a doctor to know why I’m not getting pregnant , now I have been referred to see another specialist through nhs but we will probably have to pay some private to get iui or ivf , it’s frustrating , it’s really depressing to go through that, now after the pandemic I hope we can finally find help , I’m ready for ivf anytime , we just want to hold our baby 😞

Dodo09 Tue 31-Mar-20 18:44:10

@seven201
Ours is not unexplained infertility , as I said my partner can’t ejaculate during intercourse so I don’t need to be a doctor to know why I’m not getting pregnant , now I have been referred to see another specialist through nhs but we will probably have to pay some private to get iui or ivf , it’s frustrating , it’s really depressing to go through that, now after the pandemic I hope we can finally find help , I’m ready for ivf anytime , we just want to hold our baby 😞

everpessimistic Tue 31-Mar-20 18:57:35

If the only problem is with ejaculation then IUI would probably be your best bet. I guess it’s about weighing up whether to try multiple rounds of IUI (think success rate is like 12%) or jump straight to IVF (success rate 30-50%)

seven201 Tue 31-Mar-20 19:28:41

Sorry @Dodo09 I thought because you’d been using the insemination kits that had sort of gone round the ejaculation issue, so meant there may be another issue at play.

For what it’s worth I think you should make an appointment (when all this is over) at a fertility clinic and ask them to talk you through IUI and ivf so you can decide as a couple which route it best for you. But I still stand by one year not being that long in terms of ttc, I can’t remember the statistics, but plenty of couples do fall pregnant naturally after a year (unless using insemination kits lowers your odds - I have no knowledge on that).

Dodo09 Tue 31-Mar-20 19:47:43

@seven201
We did use some home kit insemintiom but the gp said the chances were very small to get pregnant using a needless syringe, we never used the turkey baster as I was frightened it could be painful and my partner doesn’t know how to use it so I’m better off to just wait and see when I can get that iui 😞

Dodo09 Tue 31-Mar-20 19:51:09

We are taking in consideration if try with iui which has low success rate or just straight to ivf, we hope I will get pregnant through iui to avoid ivf but at this point we are ready for whatever the specialist will suggest, I’m a bit scared to go through an ivf for the treatments and the emotional and physical stress that it will cause but I will try everything to have my baby 👶🏻

Dodo09 Tue 31-Mar-20 19:52:03

@ everpessimistic
We are taking in consideration if try with iui which has low success rate or just straight to ivf, we hope I will get pregnant through iui to avoid ivf but at this point we are ready for whatever the specialist will suggest, I’m a bit scared to go through an ivf for the treatments and the emotional and physical stress that it will cause but I will try everything to have my baby 👶🏻

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