This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Failed IVF at 43. And now what?(6 Posts)
After 1 failed IVF cycle at 43, but which yielded 8 follicules and 4 eggs, my IVF doctor says she does not recommend any further treatment. The only option she recommends is DE. What do you reckon?
I am reading on FB that women are being treated at 44 and beyond with as few as 2-4 eggs (USA). Do not know your exact situation, but age and number of eggs seem comparable.
I also find that the option of DE is given too liberally, as if it is mere tweak in the treatment protocol, not a huge life-changing decision.
Unfortunately I would agree with your doctors - success rates for IVF plummet from 30% to less than 2% over 43 years old.
Donor eggs is a big step though and not something I would consider
Unfortunately I would agree with your doctors - success rates for IVF plummet from 30% to less than 2% over 43 years old
I’m afraid I agree with this. Your chances may be less than the average for a 43 year old as your FSH is raised and your AMH low. Although I completely understand that the decision of whether to use donor eggs is a big one.
I have a slightly different perspective having used donor eggs myself - albeit due to a rare health condition diagnosed suddenly in my 20s rather than age, which I appreciate may affect a persons decision/outlook.
It all comes down to what you consider to be family. From my view, who we love and who loves us in return is rarely based on genetics. It was not important to me to pass on my genes but it was important to have a loving family, so it wasn’t a big problem/stumbling block. For other people, these things are important and should be recognised.
Having said that, there are consequences that have to be considered. If you do not want to face the reality that your donor and her family may, in the future, also be a part of your family in some way, then don’t do it. You must be ready to be open and honest from the word go to not just your child but the people around you. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy with this - but it is a difficult line to walk.
I would recommend that you have some counselling (as this may raise questions that you may not have considered) and read ‘Three Makes Baby’ - it is a useful book that I found helped me to honestly examine my own feelings of grief and anger at my lost fertility
If you have any questions please just let me know, happy to help if I can!