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Anyone trying IVF for a 2nd?

(35 Posts)
TinnedPearsForPudding Thu 23-Jan-20 11:45:24

We've just started the IVF process trying for a 2nd child. We had DS through IVF/ICSI & he is now 7.
I feel a bit of a fraud reading some of the other IVF posts as I can feel the pain of the women who have yet to have a child - I feel as if I don't quite fit in there (I remember that pain all too well) as my experience this time is different.
Anyone else fancy company on their journey?

Success1986 Thu 23-Jan-20 12:19:16

Hey im due to have my 5th round of ICSI (one fresh BFN, frozen our DS, fresh BFN, fresh BFN, now got 1 frozen egg to try next month). Do not feel bad about wanting a sibling for child. A family member once said to me what are you going through it all again for you've got your son, i replied you wouldn't ask someone with no fertility issues that question so why me?? I do find it less stressful now i have my son though. That desperation of wanting to become a mum has eased of now i am part of the club. How are you feeling? Xx

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Thu 23-Jan-20 15:19:18

I'm the same OP except DD was a natural conception (confirmed the day we were due to start ivf injections ironically!) but since her we ve lost 5 pregnancies - 3 miscarriages and 2 ruptured ectopics and now permanently infertile as lost both tubes. I'm also about to start injections next week for a 4th egg collection (part of a 3 cycle package) but had 2 failed ICSI IVF cycles last year.

I get the same from my family - they don't understand that we feel like part of our family is missing and they don't understand why we have put ourselves through this emotional physical and financial pressure

It is different already having a child - I know that after the next two egg collections (and transfers of whatever we get) I'll be done and ready to move on but if I didn't already have DD then I'm not sure I'd be able to put an expiration date on it

My GP once told me that secondary infertility is in many ways worse than primary infertility - motherhood is no longer a dream it's physical - you have a reminder in your current child running around on what you are missing - you know what motherhood feels like - you don't have to imagine what your children will look like as you see it in the child you have

TinnedPearsForPudding Thu 23-Jan-20 15:49:00

@Success1986 I totally agree that it feels very different this time. First time around the pain was so acute it could have been a physical pain. This time around it's more of a continual yearning but with the knowledge that my world won't collapse if it fails

twinkledag Thu 23-Jan-20 22:22:49

Tinned - your last post describes how it feels perfectly. I agree x

Success1986 Fri 24-Jan-20 09:58:52

It is different but its still painful especially after the failed ivf, you know it has worked before so thay hope is always there. I got worried during one ivf cycle thinking do i even want another baby, how could i love someone else the same as DS, but then i had to realise that im probably feeling a 'normal' level of wanting a child this time around where as the desperation and panic of before DS was of the scale and very traumatic. If only we had a crystal ball at the time!

TinnedPearsForPudding Fri 24-Jan-20 10:23:24

Has anyone else started their IVF for a 2nd (or subsequent) child? We are starting in about 2 weeks (waiting for day1).
Where was good to go for the drugs? I'm going to call a few pharmacies next week. I've heard good things about ASDA

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Fri 24-Jan-20 12:18:26

@TinnedPearsForPudding
I got my drugs delivered yesterday via fertility2u but I go via the clinic as the stress of ringing round places was too much! I've heard good things about ASDA too.

I'm doing a tamoxifen natural modified IVF cycle though with low dose stims only every other day so I don't need much - this month I started cycle day 3 and egg collection was day 12

I'm waiting to start cycle day 1 which I think will be next Tuesday

Lemongrass1 Sat 25-Jan-20 02:51:34

Hi, can I join in? We are about to TTC #2. First was conceived from a frozen transfer following ICSI. Fresh transfer resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. We have a few frosties remaining from the previous ICSI so going for another FET and probably will start down reg early March. Currently have very mixed feelings about upcoming treatment. Would love a second child but really really hate the stress that comes hand in hand with fertility treatment- all the waiting and uncertainty, and the cost!!

TinnedPearsForPudding Sat 25-Jan-20 12:12:40

I'm so glad there's a few of us doing the same thing. @Lemongrass1 - the more the merrier for sure.

DobbieFreeElf Sat 25-Jan-20 17:11:05

Hi,

I’ve just started IVF (first bemfola injection last night 😊) to try and have a little brother or sister for my DS aged 3.

I’m 33 had no fertility issues before conceiving DS (conceived first try). Conceived again the month he dropped his day time breastfeeds which ended in miscarriage at 10weeks (November 2017). Took 7 months to conceive again and that too ended in miscarriage (summer 2018).

Despite acupuncture, dieting, weight loss, increasing exercise, decreasing alcohol/ sugar/ caffeine intake, 3 rounds of Clomid (and everything else you can try) we haven’t had a glimmer of a BFP and following lots and lots and lots of tests we’ve been “diagnosed” with unexplained secondary infertility. The only result that wasn’t “normal” is my DH’s sperm count (11mill 1st time and 16mill 2nd time)... still can’t understand why it was so easy to conceive then and impossible now!

So here we are, starting IVF (or ICSI to be decided when they look at DH’s sample in the clinic)

For the last 3 years I’ve struggled, a lot. At one stage my DH confided in my best friend that I’m me 2 weeks of the month and someone completely different (and irrational) for 2 weeks. I’ve sometimes wondered if my constant struggle with having a second has distracted me from my gorgeous boy (but I think that’s just a guilty little voice inside me, I know I’m a good mum and he is incredible!) I’m also now struggling with the “guilt” of taking a financial gamble on having a second (we can afford it but this seems like betting on a horse with outsider odds).

Anyway, doubts aside, I’m excited and hopeful that we might be able to complete our little family 😊

HavelockVetinari Mon 27-Jan-20 10:27:42

Hi all, I'm currently 5dp5dt of an early blastocyst. This is my 7th round -

1 IVF (BFN)
1 ICSI (BFP mc @ 7 weeks)
1 FET (BFP DS aged 2.5)
3 ICSI (2 BFN 1 BFP chem pg)
1 ICSI (don't know yet)

The wait is killing me! And the progesterone is making me trump constantly, it's yuck.

Good luck all - I know what you mean about the stress and cost, I'm trying not to think too hard about the latter and what we could've done with that much cash...

TinnedPearsForPudding Mon 27-Jan-20 13:23:03

@HavelockVetinari I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. How are you feeling? How are you passing the time? I hope you are finding time to be kind to yourself and (try to) relax as much as possible.

TinnedPearsForPudding Mon 27-Jan-20 13:23:53

@DobbieFreeElf how are you feeling on the drugs? Did you manage to do the injection ok? That's something that many of us struggle with

HavelockVetinari Mon 27-Jan-20 13:52:19

I'm busy with work, trying not to POAS every time I pee, and Googling positive tests and how long post-transfer they showed up! I have the faintest imaginable shadow on an IC but nothing showing up on FRER so the IC is most likely an evap line. Argh, I'm driving myself mad!

@Lemongrass1 what is the quality of your frosties like? How many do you have? We've only ever had 1 make it to freeze, which turned into DS. It's going to be an odd 'where do babies come from' discussion -

"Well darling, you were in a freezer for 3 months..."

"Like a fish finger?"

"Erm, kind of..."

grin

DobbieFreeElf Mon 27-Jan-20 14:13:23

@HavelockVetinari a fish finger!!! Hilarious!

I've been absolutely fine jabbing myself (I've injected loads of horses in my time and it's waaaay easier to prick myself than a ton of dancing animal!!!) and haven't noticed any side effects, I slept badly last night but that was due to a certainly little face appearing by my bedside after having a wee accident in the night and then not being able to get back to sleep!

How are you @TinnedPearsForPudding, have you sorted your drugs? Ours came direct from the clinic via fertility2you as they are part of the "package"

I had my first scan today, they said they counted 18 follicles in total (twice as many right as there were left) and she said that it was "good" but I don't know much about what is good and not good at this stage!

HavelockVetinari Mon 27-Jan-20 15:07:49

Wow 18 follicles is great! Apparently the optimum number of eggs for IVF success (statistically speaking) is 15, so you're doing perfectly assuming a couple won't contain mature eggs.

DobbieFreeElf Mon 27-Jan-20 15:35:52

Oh awesome! That makes me happy! Thanks @HavelockVetinari 😊 🤞 I keep going the right way!

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Mon 27-Jan-20 16:25:49

Hey everyone - my period came 4 days early on Sunday so I start my drugs tomorrow with first scan on Wednesday! - with it being a natural modified cycle we are not expecting to get more than 5/6 follicles Max. Last cycle we only got 2 but both fertilised and made to freeze so happy with that (last year with full stim IVF ICSI has 12-14 eggs in both cycles and only got 2 average quality blasts out of each cycle)

My DD had to come to one of my scans on my last cycle......had some very uncomfortable questions from her on the way home about baby making 🤣

Footballmum1985 Mon 27-Jan-20 17:12:28

Hi All, so glad I’ve just seen this post. I have one child naturally and looking at ivf for the second. We have had all tests done and myself and partner have had normal results.

DobbieFreeElf Mon 27-Jan-20 20:45:33

Hi @footballmum1985 very similar to us then! How old is your DC1?

Excuse my ignorance @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted but what is modified natural? I haven’t got a clue what protocol I’m on! They definitely said natural but I don’t think I registered exactly what it is!

HavelockVetinari Mon 27-Jan-20 21:11:49

Ah feck, I've started bleeding sad I'm starting to think there's a problem with progesterone, last time I had a BFP that got stronger in spite of bleeding but eventually ended in mc. Next time I'll ask for injections.

twinkledag Mon 27-Jan-20 21:18:01

Oh no @HavelockVetinari! Keeping my fingers crossed for you 🙏

TinnedPearsForPudding Mon 27-Jan-20 23:25:21

@HavelockVetinari thinking of you tonight x

HavelockVetinari Tue 28-Jan-20 07:41:19

Thanks folks. It's really shit, but we'll try again in a couple of months. And we still have our gorgeous little boy to cuddle.

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