IVF worries!

(24 Posts)
MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Wed 08-Jan-20 19:32:13

Hi there! I posted a couple of days ago in the wrong bit... I think I’ve got it now.
Infertility! I have been reading for a while now and I’m soooooo glad I’m not on my own. I felt so so alone. And just reading these threads has helped hugely.
My husband and I have been diagnosed with ‘unexplained infertility.’
I’m 26, he’s 28. Hardly drink, non-smokers, sporty, been doing acupuncture, mindfulness, taking vitamins... all of the above and more!
We have our co-ordination meeting for IVF on NHS in a few weeks. Super nervous, super excited. Any hints, tips hugely appreciated.
What do I expect? Worried about telling work! Eek!
Don’t want to tell anyone, let alone colleges!
Any last min tips on how we can hopefully avoid IVF and have a miracle this month?!
So nice to know you’re all out there ❤️

OP’s posts: |
Peterspotter Wed 08-Jan-20 19:39:08

I’ve had two IVF babies.

You don’t need to tell work anything at this point.

If you get accepted sometimes you get the opportunity to go to a private clinic - take it.

Drink wheatgrass - I swear that helped!

It’s a roller coaster but worth it.

You first meeting will be pretty straight forward. Just taking notes and details. Period dates/cycles etc.. you might be taken for an internal scan and dh might have to do a sample but I think (if I remember right ) that’s later on. I think they focus on you first

Good luck!

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Wed 08-Jan-20 20:06:29

Two beautiful babies!
Congratulations! That’s so encouraging. We just swear we’ve been told it’s a given! I swear if it ever happens for us, I won’t believe it.
Ordering wheatgrass! Thank you!
Honestly will try anything. We’ve been together for 8 years and just didn’t see this coming. Our poor dog has had to play peekaboo for years now...!
When did you tell work if you don’t mind me asking? If you told them at all. I’m just worried about appointments and missing work. It’s not a job I can ‘pop out’ of! I’m a teacher so super fast paced and not much wiggle room appointment wise. Worried! It takes precedence of course but don’t know how to handle it. X

OP’s posts: |
Peterspotter Wed 08-Jan-20 20:32:17

We had three cycles first stuck, froze the rest, went for a second that one didn’t stick but third one did.

I was with care fertility in Manchester and they had a great char board you could chat to other ladies with that where starting with at the same time so just have a look if there is something similar, I’ve also noticed some IVF threads on here you could jump on to if they are still live.

I had a AMH blood test which counts the number of eggs you have - did this at a private clinic and they cane back and said I had nothing and it wasn’t going to work. Was heart broke but some how got accepted on NHS so read some where on line that wheatgrass was great for fertility as it regenerates blood/cells so chugged it back for about six weeks and when we went to the new clinic it was fine! Honestly don’t know if the first test was faulty or it worked but I always recommend it!

Maybe have a chat with your HR as they might want you to book it as holidays as it’s a not an urgent medical appointment but I’d wait till after your first one to see what your process is.

There is lot and lots of terminology and it can get confusing so read up on it. It’s crazy but very interesting!

If you get the chance to use ICSI take it. It’s where they take a single sperm and put it in the egg rather than placing sperm around the egg. We had that.

Be prepared for it to be very invasive. I was able to use a private clinic which was lovely so not really experienced a NHS one but I know ladies who had twins from them.

What have they said to you about treatment? Have they suggested clomid? Have they looked at your Fallopian tubes as I had to have mine flushed before I was offered IVF. Have they checked your dh sperm?

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Wed 08-Jan-20 21:33:28

Sadly I can’t book holiday as I’m a teacher.
I think it’s a great plan to go for this appointment and see from there. I’d like to be honest if I can but also want to keep it to myself as much as poss.
Wheatgrass sounds so fab. Definitely giving it a go.
I will absolutely ask about ICSI too.
I have had the Fallopian tube flush! All good there! Both of us have had every test under the sun and no problems what so ever so fallen into ‘unexplained infertility’.
So fingers crossed this is the answer.
I see babies and pregnant ladies everywhere I look haha! I’ve wanted a baby for as long as I can remember! Toes and fingers crossed xxxx

OP’s posts: |
DisneyGirl2387 Wed 08-Jan-20 22:44:22

Hi MrsJemimaPuddleDuck
I'm a long time reader and only just recent poster. Its reassuring to know there are people out there going through the same and feeling the same emotions. Infertility can be very lonely.

I'm sorry to hear about your journey, I know how upsetting it can be. My situation is slightly different to yours in that our issue is I don't ovulate on my own. Have had HyCoSy and 6 months of clomid but sadly no baby. We are going down the medicated IUI route and have our first appointment in a few weeks.

Anyway the reason I commented is that both me and my DH are teachers (I'm primary and he is secondary.) I've had to have lots of time off for various appointments/short notice scans etc and it can be really difficult! In the end I've just been open and honest with my head and the team I work with (to a certain extent). Everyone has been really supportive and My HT has said I need to prioritise this treatment (she has gone through some issues herself). I know I'm very lucky. I do try and book the latest possible appointment so that I don't miss too much school and take advantage. Is your HT approachable at all?

I wish you every luck and really hope this next step works for you! X

seven201 Thu 09-Jan-20 21:07:30

@MrsJemimaPuddleDuck I'm a teacher too and just started my first ivf round. I told hr at the end of November I think, after I'd been given some rough dates by my ivf clinic. The bit of ivf I'm most stressed about is time off from school! Which is of course ridiculous. We've got to remember it's just a job and the students will survive.

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Thu 09-Jan-20 22:47:03

@DisneyGirl2387 I’m so grateful to not feel so alone anymore. I’m so sorry to hear you haven’t had the magical moment yet. Is clomid the one where it boosts your ovaries?
I am sooooo glad to hear there are teachers out there too. Phew. So glad you have such an understanding head. I am not sure sure mine will be.... but as @seven201 said so brilliantly, it’s just a job! I think we give everything from all hours to our hearts to our job! Need to remember they will survive!
How is IVF going? Have you managed to get morning/afternoon appointments?
I’m so so so glad not to be the only teacher doing this! I knew I couldn’t be but it’s very lovely to have heard from you both. Thank you. If only we could time IVF with half terms etc! X

OP’s posts: |
seven201 Thu 09-Jan-20 23:06:46

I've only just started but my clinic only do most scan appointments between 8 and 12. I have to drop my dd off at nursery so the earliest I can get to the clinic (private not nhs) is 9 and all those appointments are already booked up! So no, I haven't been able to book appointments at convenient times. I've tried to put them in my frees where possible but that's not good either as it means I have no prep time at school and the clinic is 45mins from school. I have quite a lot of exam groups; I really don't want to miss their lessons and I don't think it would go down well if I did!

My head isn't approachable so I haven't spoken to him, just hr who were going to tell the head. I emailed my hod and told her the situation but requested she didn't ask me about it! I've told a couple of work friends though.

Life is more important than a job. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first!

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Sat 11-Jan-20 08:39:38

You’re on such an incredible journey. I totally agree. This has to come first. You’ve absolutely given me some confidence to just go for it when the time comes.
We have put this afternoon aside to read and sign all of our paper work. Excited about paper work!!!
I really hope your head is okay with it. I don’t see how they can’t be really. Sometimes we need a little help to get our family, and that’s okay! I wish it were normal to chat a bit more about it.
What point are you at with your treatment? X

OP’s posts: |
June36 Sat 11-Jan-20 10:03:46

Hope you don’t mind me joining in! I’m a teacher too and have yet to tell work due to gossipy SLT plus they get funny about time off for appointments.
Currently in stimulation phase and it’s been ok so far. A few side effects but nothing worse than PMS type pain, everyone is different though.
I went through the same stress as you and managed to get very anxious pre-treatment and ill so dr signed me off. I feel like I can cope with IVF side effects better because I’m not worried about work. They will cope tbh! It took me a loooong time to accept that and the stress isn’t worth it.
Please listen to everyone here and put yourself first.
Feel free to ask any questions and good luck everyone!

SpyroC Sat 11-Jan-20 10:53:44

I am a teacher too and I agree with what others have said. In the year prior to Ivf I had a lot of appointments for investigations and monitoring and I found this difficult to manage with work. When it came to ivf I just told the relevant people and they were very supportive and understanding. They appreciated the heads up and I felt much less stressed about having to ask for time off at short notice. They actually emphasised that health and well being is more important than your job. It's a difficult time-🤞🏻 we all don't have to go through this too many times. X

UncleBrynsfishingtrip Sat 11-Jan-20 13:52:11


I’m a teacher also and we are going to start ivf soon. I’ve been completely honest with work as they have been very understanding.
I have my paperwork ‘signing’ appt with consultant this week 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

What stage is everyone at with it?
Have you had your first appts yet?
I’m a bit worried (actually I’m really scared!!) about the potential side effects but I’m trying to take each day as it’s come xx

Bestofyou1982 Sat 11-Jan-20 16:50:57

I'm a teacher too and also part of management team. Balancing work and physical treatment alongside the worries and questions is tough.
We have had eggs frozen and are about a week or so off a frozen egg transfer. Have had quite a few side effects and was signed off for a couple of weeks around egg collection due to OHSS. I stressed about being off at first (although work were great) but as you guys have all said health comes first.
I'm worried about how I'm going to be if this frozen cycle doesn't work. Its just so much waiting,drug taking and appointments and not a lot of progress.
Am at the point where I'm considering jacking it all in, is it all worth it? Life feels like it's been on hold for about 3 years now. Husband says well of course we just keep going until get result we want but doesn't really impact his day tomday life or career. Anyone else feeling the same or have any enlightening ideas?

Bonkersblond Sat 11-Jan-20 17:24:29

Hi, We had unexplained infertility, went down the usual treatment route, clomid, IUI, herbal treatments, acupuncture, our 2nd round of IVF worked & 6 years later we got DS, anyway DS had some minor health issues and I was recommended a Chiropractor who specialises in babies & children, I also decided to see her myself as had back issues, she found my pelvis to be out of alignment and could tell from the shape of DS head how he’d been lying in my womb and I’d also had a difficult birth, she put this down to my pelvis, after a few treatments over 6 months, I fell pregnant naturally, came as a big shock! DS was going to be our one and only! Now this could have been the Chiro getting my body back in alignment for those little swimmers or because I wasn’t stressed(the last thing you want anyone to tell you when TTC isn’t happening), or my body realising what it’s meant to do having now been pregnant. Just wanted to share with you, maybe do your own research as don’t like giving false hope but am absolutely sure the chiro sorting my back/body alignment out was the reason I conceived naturally 3 years after birth of DS and I often wonder if I’d seen her earlier we wouldn’t have had to endure the infertility journey.

June36 Sat 11-Jan-20 18:52:46

It sounds like you need to do what is best for your body, because IVF is mentally, physically and emotionally draining.
My husband and I had a similar convo so totally understand the frustration and have agreed to look into donor egg/sperm or adoption, so maybe that could be an option for you?
If it helps my Dr said look after your body first and there are other avenues that you can consider. Hope that helps!

seven201 Sat 11-Jan-20 22:00:39

@MrsJemimaPuddleDuck I hope your paperwork signing went well. It takes ages!!!

I'm starting the stim injections in about 10 days.

Nice (that's not the right word for this situation!) to see so many teachers on here. Please make sure you put yourselves first. It's refreshing to read of some supportive SLT.

@Bestofyou1982 I can definitely relate to your life being on hold thing. I'm making a big effort to appreciate what I've got already. I'm incredibly lucky to have a dd and I've wasted two years of her life being a bit of a miserable cow much of the time! It's the not knowing one way or the other that is so tough.

Only you know how much of you you can give to this process. You're right though, it's just not the same for the man involved as it's not their body being mucked about. Have you had any counselling? Maybe that's the next step.

Bestofyou1982 Sun 12-Jan-20 20:58:14

Thanks for your reply @seven201.
Feeling calmer today after a good night sleep and a quiet day. Ivf clinic offer 3 counselling sessions, planning to see how frozen cycle goes. If doesn't work think I may need to use them then for someone to vent to/ process with.
How are you feeling about starting stims? Is this first time? (Apologies if have missed info in earlier thread)

seven201 Sun 12-Jan-20 22:43:14

@Bestofyou1982 I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. That sounds like a good plan. Fingers crossed for your frozen cycle.

Yes it's my first ivf. I'm feeling glad to be doing 'something' but obviously mainly just worried about how many eggs they'll get, if any fertilise etc. Always something to overthink!

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Mon 13-Jan-20 19:44:49


I’m just always so blow away by the support found here. Thank you all. And I totally agree @seven201it is so nice to see so many teachers all in the same boat. It’s such a hard job to take time off for. I’m sure we are all familiar with half terms packed with dentist appointments, hair appointments, opticians, the lot!
@Bonkersblond congratulations! The most wonderful news. Willing to give anything a try. When it’s ‘unexplained infertility’ like we have and like you had, you have to just try everything I guess! So so happy you have been successful.

@Bestofyou1982 Sorry to hear you have suffered side affects. Did work mind at all? I’m so worried - but then seeing children everyday makes me sad!
I hope you feel some hope soon. I find that this whole journey is such a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Without any warning. Some days it hurts so much and feels like we are shells of who we once were. And sometimes for no particular reason I feel all excited and maybe, just maybe this may work for us! If that makes any sense. My husband and your husband would be friends. He says exactly the same thing. Almost to the word! Upon explaining how much I feel things, he was lovely but still I think we feel it in a slightly different way. We are bound to and I don’t think we should have to be brave about it. Sometimes yes, it’s good to just keep calm and carry on, but this has really taught me to give myself a break from time to time. You’re doing something so amazing. I’ll be hopefully doing frozen transfer too. I wish you all the luck in the world. Xxx

@UncleBrynsfishingtrip firstly, great name!!! You’re so lucky that work have been great. Did you tell them everything? I don’t even know how to start the conversation! Ah! I’m dreading knocking on that office door.

@June36 so glad work were lovely for you too. Gives me faith and confidence to tell them! Have you had to have much time off yet? How are you feeling?

Thank you all. It’s so lovely not to feel alone! May all teachers everywhere have their own little one if they would like one! I love my 30 but I’m ready for 1. X

OP’s posts: |
MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Mon 13-Jan-20 21:19:14

Also totally forgot to ask about your OHSS... the doctor said I was at a high risk of this. Little worried. Was it okay? I really can’t take time off.

OP’s posts: |
Bestofyou1982 Tue 14-Jan-20 22:54:01

Thanks for replies. It's really interesting to hear how others are doing in similar situation.
@MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Work have been amazing. I ended up being signed off for two weeks. If you're not well enough to be at work you have to take the time to recover and look after yourself. I wouldn't worry, this journey is so full of unknowns. Take each day as it comes and follow advice of experts they do this everyday.

Scan on Thursday. Hopefully it will show I'm ready to have frozen embyro transfer next week. Done with waiting now just want to get moving and see if can at least get as far as a positive pregnancy test.

How's everyone else doing this week so far? xx

MrsJemimaPuddleDuck Wed 15-Jan-20 12:10:03

Thank you. Fingers crossed. I’ve told myself I have to say I have my appointment in three weeks at least. Then I will have to freeze wait after OHSS anyway.

How long did you have to wait until you got to this point?

Scan tomorrow is so exciting. I hope you get the green light! That means you’ll be having transfer next week and then two week wait! So you’ll be in/almost finished two week wait when I have my first official IVF appointment! Eeek!

OP’s posts: |
Bestofyou1982 Thu 16-Jan-20 19:24:49

@MrsJemimaPuddleDuck so got the green light as such today. Woop! Embryo transferred next week waiting for update of changes to drugs and appointments.

Had egg collection in October. Then had to have full cycle following and another cycle chemical free before could start buseralin again for transfer. So about 3 months from egg collection to transfer (hopefully).

I hope your wait passes quickly.

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