Talk

Advanced search

Does it ever stop hurting?

(9 Posts)
twinkledag Wed 11-Dec-19 09:22:57

Should be celebrating my baby's first birthday this week but instead I miscarried a much wanted ivf baby.

Since then I've had a failed transfer and 2 failed cycles. When does it start to hurt less?

Maggie272 Wed 11-Dec-19 10:58:28

I think so. Everything gets easier. I've had two chemical pregnancies...just had another transfer on Monday, but to be honest I just can't wait to get on with life again. You readjust...do you think you will try another cycle @twinkledag?

twinkledag Wed 11-Dec-19 11:02:03

If I try again it would be cycle number 6. And I don't have much hope of it working after my history.

AliceAbsolum Wed 11-Dec-19 16:41:25

So sorry. Its awful. I don't know if it gets better. I hope so. Maybe either acceptance or a baby will lessen the pain.

JeNeBaguetteRien Wed 11-Dec-19 17:38:24

Oh twinkle flowers

I think like any grief it will hurt less as time goes by, but never entirely go away, and at some seemingly random moments something will trigger it and you'll feel it acutely.
There will be a way to live with it but that child-shaped hole in my life is so hard at times.

I think the whole experience of infertility changes you, I haven't experienced pregnancy loss as you ladies have but that also changes you.

Even some friends who've made it to the other side still feel the sting of infertility.

Sorry if that sounds gloomy but I do think we'll carry on, just that it's not easy and I'm acknowledging that fact.

Trest yourself with kindness.

sillysmiles Wed 11-Dec-19 17:42:38

Nope. I think it just doesn't hurt every day.

twinkledag Wed 11-Dec-19 21:50:16

Thank you all.

I have a DS from my first cycle 6 years ago which helps, but the pain of all the failures and the miscarriage still hurts.

Pleaseletitbeme Wed 11-Dec-19 21:57:06

I ask myself the same question every day.
3 failed ICSIs this year. Two sets of twins and a singleton. All gone.
First set of twins were due Christmas Day.
I want to tell everyone to just fuck off right now xxx

twinkledag Wed 11-Dec-19 22:40:45

I'm so sorry @Pleaseletitbeme, that is so so cruel.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »