2nd FET possibly cancelled - need support

[Maggie272]

....need support because I'm just wrecked. My life is not going to end if I don't have a baby...I'm not in that frame of mind. But I've been on hormones pretty much non stop since end of July. My jeans don't fit, I'm emotional and anxious all the time. I don't have any motivation. I'm 36 - 37 in Feb.
Had a scan today and the estrogen is not suppressing my ovaries and I have a follicle growing. They doubled the dose of the hormones because this happened the last time and the cycle was cancelled.
So emotional - the nurse just said, most women are fine on estrogen.
any reassurance welcome!

[kikisparks]

So sorry to hear this. I’m only just going for my first IVF Appointment next week so I’m afraid I have no reassurance but that all sounds so stressful. I hope the double dose works for you.

[HJF84]

@Maggie272 I had the same issue with the cycle I'm currently on. I went for my first scan which showed multiple follicles growing. She increased my estrogen and asked me to use ovulation sticks. She said some people just don't respond well to the estrogen, so she was going to see if they could catch the ovulation as per a natural cycle.

In the end, the follicles didn't grow enough by the time my lining was thick enough, so I had my FET on Wednesday last week.

So surely they could try and 'catch' ovulation for you or there is hope that the follicle stops growing.

[Maggie272]

@kikisparks thank you for your reply! Best of luck! I have been managing well...it just all got on top of me yesterday...

@HJF84
Thank you so much for your reply! Yes, they are going to try to catch it. When I wrote the post above I was so overwhelmed and disappointed. I still feel like that. I feel annoyed at the clinic, and that's what I don't like. It's not their fault...but it's easier than blaming myself or accepting the risks...

The follicle yesterday was 10, and the lining was 5.3. Going for another scan Monday to see what is growing. I'm just really relieved to hear this happened to someone else, and that you dealth with it!

I'm delighted that you had your FET! I hope you are relaxing as much as possible, and that you are being looked after.

Much love
M x

[Anaesthetist83]

I’m sorry😔 afraid no knowledge of this particular protocol. I take it you haven’t been downregulated with buserelin then for your FERs. Technically this should stop follicular development as stops LH/FSH production.

[Maggie272]

@Anaesthetist83
Thank you so much for responding.
I was on buserelin for long protocol back in August, after being on the pill for 3 weeks. All of that worked...I am sensitive to medications (and the world in general...) so it all nearly floored me. Fresh cycle ended in Chemical pregnancy. I felt fine for the next two weeks when I wasn't on meds. Now I am starting to feel exhausted and broken.

I asked about buserelin and they said for FET they usually use estrogen. They will try to match things up if I ovulate on my own...I just feel exhausted, depressed, like a failure that this isn't working...

I know that I would be fine without children...but at the moment there is a great sense of failure

M x

[Anaesthetist83]

I had a long protocol July/Aug for fresh cycle - transfer was then cancelled due to OHSS. Now doing a frozen transfer. I have felt so much better this time around, so it may be worth considering a similar approach if you need to try again?

[Matilda128]

We had a cancelled FET and the feeling was horrible and I found it more difficult to deal with than the early MC after my fresh transfer. The clinic wanted to do a natural cycle and just when we were all excited about it going ahead, they told us it wasn't going to happen because on that day they had a training day. We felt devastated because we felt that we were definitely cursed and it would never ever happen (the clinic saying that it was the first time in 2.5 years really didn't help). It was such a low that we nearly gave up all together. But after a few miserable days- we started to feel better and to look forward to the next cycle. I'm sure you'll get there! Please don't feel too bad and be kind to yourself. I really feel that IVF is a treatment that is based on trying first- refine when not working. That they haven't got it right is down to your clinic and not to you. It is brilliant that you have an FET waiting for you x

[Matilda128]

Sorry, just to add. Of course my experience is totally different as it was a non-medicated natural FET. In the end this completely failed as I started AF way too early (which would have been prevented on a medicated one). I just wanted to say I completely understand your feelings right now xx

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

Sorry to hear it's not going great - why can't they swap you on to a drug free FET? That way it doesn't matter if you have a follicle and ovulate - they'll just do the transfer 5 days after ovulation day? X

[Maggie272]

@Matilda128 thank you so much for telling me your story! That is just like us, with a miscarriage on the first. But what you said about trial and error and trying something different feels very reassuring. I have noticed over the past couple of months I tend to think everything is against me, the clinic, my body, life...that's not the best way to think... the clinic has nothing against me. I wish you well for your next phase, whatever that may be

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted how are you? I hope everything is going well? I honestly don't know why...they said they almost always use estrogen... In fairness they are a great clinic. I have a great doctor and the nurses are so dedicated, always on the phone if I have questions or worries. I have to trust them because I don't know what the hell is going : ) I think I am just responding to the meds...the two weeks of no hormones I felt much more balanced...

Do let me know how you are xxx

[Matilda128]

I'm wholly the same with the battle but you are absolutely right in trusting your clinic. It sounds like you have a really good relation with the doctors and nurses and that is so important. I really wish I could be a little bit more like you! All my best wishes! Xxx

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

@Maggie272
I'm good thanks - although 99% sure transfer last Sunday hasn't worked as BFN all week. Going to take a couple of weeks to pull myself together and then ask clinic about doing a cycle of natural IVF x

[Maggie272]

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted well, i'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. It is hard...but no matter what happens you will be ok. sending you love x

@Matilda128
So far I have no reason not to trust them...they offer free counselling too and I might just pop in for an hour. I have been attending the clinic for almost a year, and I was pretty happy go lucky until the past couple of weeks. Two embryos left in freezer so that's hopeful
i wish you all the best, thank you so much again for sharing your story, it's a relief to hear someone else is getting through it xxx

[Matilda128]

Two in the freezer is so good!!! The counselor at my clinic is also brilliant. In hindsight I wish I had been a bit less anxious. I was so nervous the next cycle would be cancelled as well. I felt I was in a rush but looking back I would have preferred if everything would have gone right. I think my anxiety really messed up my hormones- next time I'm really going to try to keep as calm as I can. Fingers crossed xxx

[Maggie272]

@Matilda128 don't blame your reactions, which are so natural. My clinic says anxiety doesn't make a difference - unless sometimes when stress can stop you from ovulating. Anxiety and stress are part of the whole process, and people have their babies in spite of it. you're doing great x

[HJF84]

@Maggie272 Thanks! Yes getting lots of rest. I've been off work since Weds, but back to work tomorrow. No symptoms yet, but I'm only 4dpt. Keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏼

If it helps, my doctor told me that a small percentage of women just don't respond as well to the estrogen, and we're in that group. Next time, as we have two in the freezer, I'll go for natural. Although hopefully, i won't need to use them just yet.

Are you still taking the estrogen?

[Maggie272]

@HJF84 thank you. Oh 4days is so early...it will be good to get back to work so that you're not thinking about it so constantly!

Yes, I'm still taking 8mg fematab (estrogen) a day. Have another scan tomorrow morning to see if the follicle is growing. Very hormonal, even though the bloody thing isn't working xx

[Maggie272]

Just want to let you all know that my transfer is going ahead : ) the follicle didn't grow, so that's one hurdle. Thank you all for your kind messages and for sharing your stories...it's so valuable xx

[Matilda128]

That's great news! Good luck! Xxx

[HJF84]

@Maggie272 Yay! That's great news. Exactly what happened with me. Good luck with the ET 🤞🏼

[Maggie272]

Thank you, you are both so lovely xxx