Clomid let down

[West2401]

We've been trying to get pregnant for 18 months, I've been on 50 & 100mg clomid currently about to start 150mg. I've also been taking northisterone to make me bleed as I don't ovulate at all. I'm honestly really struggling.
All my friends have kids or are pregnant. My sister in law just announced she is pregnant, due pretty much on my birthday, I'm struggling to be around kids at all.
The tablets are giving me terrible anxiety, awful skin break outs and I feel like I'm constantly on edge. I just feel like I'm letting everyone down. I'm fed up of hearing how easy everyone else found it to fall pregnant, or how it happened accidentally while I'm here desperately trying and failing.
I used to be really big, lost almost half my body weight and now I lead a really fit and healthy lifestyle. I feel like I've spent so long trying to get my body healthy and it's a total punch in the gut that it's done nothing for me. I keep thinking what if being so overweight and losing weight has caused this.
I'm letting my family down and I'm letting my husband down. I feel so helpless and like nothing is ever going to work. I don't really know what I'm expecting back from this, other than to hope someone else has felt this way too?

[Goingbacktokansascity]

You’re not letting anyone down. It’s a struggle. Do you have an underlying diagnosis?
I have PCOS, clomid didn’t make me ovulate at 50mg and because mum AMH was so high they wouldn’t up the dose, I got put on letrozole 2.5 and didn’t ovulate. Then 5mg and didn’t ovulate. Then 7.5mg and boom BFP and little rascal is here.
Don’t lose hope.
Clomid isn’t the be all and end all there is letrozole, gonadotrophins and worst case scenario IVF. Every month seems a long time but you’ve got to be positive