TTC baby 1... overwhelmed

[NiTa15]

Hi guys,

I finally took the courage to write here. I am 39, my partner is 43 and we TTC baby 1 for a year now.
We did all initial tests all came back fine. We were referred for OBGYN on nhs and waiting forever for even the appointment. Thinking to go private as due to age we cannot hang around waiting for Nhs due to my age.;(
Worth to go to OBGYN or go straight to fertility clinic. Any suggestions?

[Lalla525]

As soon as my partner sperm analysis came back crap, I went private. We had the option of 3 nhs cycles of ivf, but the waiting times would have driven me crazy. Also, I looked at the reviews of the hospital they referred us to and I saw that their communication was not great, which would have just increased my anxiety.

Now, I'm lucky enough I can afford it without much problem and I feel even better thinking that those funds can be used by other couples who might need it more than I do. However, I found the private experience draining enough (without waiting times and poor communications) that I am pretty glad with my decision.

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

Id go straight to a private fertility clinic.....at 39 you don't really have the luxury of time.

You wouldn't be entitled to IVF on the NHS at your age anyway so there isnt much point in waiting for the consultation

[Iwouldbecomplex]

I would push to make sure all avenues have been explored with regards to diagnosis. I wasted a year having fertility treatment for 'unexplained infertility' before finally getting a laparoscopy which diagnosed endo and now I have a protocol tailored to my condition. It could save you valuable time and money. Make sure you've had full blood work including level one immunes, tubes tested, hysteroscopy and ideally a laparoscopy. Get a private semen analysis because they check for things NHS don't, eg antibodies. I also did hidden infection tests at Serum, karyotyoing and an MRI (which diagnosed adenomyosis). My endo, my adeno and my husbands really bad antibody count were all diagnosed way after the NHS told me everything was done and we were unexplained. They're just not thorough. When you don't have time on your side you need to try and get to the root cause ASAP if you can.

I've done NHS and private, obviously quicker private, but if you do choose to stay NHS I would recommend getting the details of the doctors secretary or the bookings department and ringing constantly for cancellation slots. This worked for me getting my initial consultation, getting my lap consult and getting my lap itself. Be very clear you're willing to accept any last minute cancellation and call so often that if one comes up you're the first person that springs to the secretary's mind. You'll do their head in but it might pay off

[Iwouldbecomplex]

Good point @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted - OP double check your CCG's assisted conception policy and see what their cut off is. There might not be a decision for you to make

[NiTa15]

Thank you all, i really appreciate your response. I am very aware of time hence we think to go down the private route. It seems silly to wait for consultation just to find out we are not qualified. Feel a bit lost as we did the testing with NhS and now I am not sure where to go. Probably the fertility clinic will be the next stop, although hoped to find the cause and solution before get to that point for money and emotional reasons. But i guess we have to go with what our best bet is. Any advice are welcome:)