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2nd baby doubts - age gap too big?

(6 Posts)
bubbaflash Sun 10-Nov-19 16:11:25

hi

so we have secondary infertility, my tubes are blocked after a difficult caesarean with my son.

we are waiting on a repeat HSG, but realistically our only chance is IVF.

I'm 37, my son is 6, 7 in December. I feel lost and don't know what to do. I so desire another child, however even if IVF works the age gap will be huge and I'd have 2 children at very different stages. the cost frightens me as would have to take a loan, and that makes me feel guilty for the child I already have.

I soooooo wanted a smaller age gap, going back to the start is scary. but I cant go back, and I'm so torn about what to do.

I feel all this time to weigh up the decision isn't actually helpful, and I don't want my desire for another child to negatively impact my son.

at some point we have to learn to live with the decision we make and I'm frightened of doing the wrong thing.

beibikeiks Mon 11-Nov-19 00:15:16

@bubbaflash
I'm also battling with secondary infertility (for 4 years now). My son is 9 years old so our age gap is even bigger.

I'm not at the stage of needing an IVF (yet) so I can't really answer the cost side, but for me personally I would not let the age gap stop me. There are 8 years between me and my sister and we are very good friends and it was pretty nice growing up.

Looking at the bright side, my son will be pretty mature (if we ever manage to conceive) and I can get him more involved in caring for his sibling. I think this can be a very nice way of bonding for them and us 😊

Singlenotsingle Mon 11-Nov-19 00:19:18

My dsis had one DC and 13 years later, had another. Many years later they're both adults with families of their own, and pleased to have each other. It worked out very well.

Nat6999 Mon 11-Nov-19 00:22:53

It took my mum 6 years from having me to my brother being born, she suffered a miscarriage when I was 3 ,& my brother was a surprise pregnancy, she had got rid of all her baby equipment as she never expected to have another child.

twinkledag Mon 11-Nov-19 09:25:06

I wouldn't let the age gap stop me.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 12-Nov-19 15:35:13

Friend has 9yrs between hers

Df has 3 older children then our dd 2 - his youngest is almost 27 so a 25yr age gap

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