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Support needed.,

(9 Posts)
Kirmcd Wed 23-Oct-19 08:21:25

I posted a thread last weekend after my ICSI treatment. I don’t have my blood test until Friday but have a PMT migraine today so know it has been unsuccessful 😩 I’m absolutely gutted. On top of that 2 people at work announced their pregnancies yesterday. Really tough week. I’m going to be 43 next week. We had ICSI because of my partner’s low sperm count (4-5 million). I have a AMH level of about 6.5. I got 5 eggs from retrieval of which 4 fertilised. They said the egg quality was about 4/5 out of 8. I will probably want to have another shot but not sure my BF will be up for it. He found it difficult to cut out drinking alcohol and I’m not sure he would be bothered about going through it all again. For me, it’s a deal breaker, I have to be a mum. I’m so confused and devastated at the moment and can’t help thinking the anxiety I felt since transfer didn’t help. Any advice or support ? I really really need it! 😢

vivianjuly Wed 23-Oct-19 08:42:07

Hi Kirmcd, PMT migraine doesnt mean anything, just relax and wait for Friday.

Kirmcd Wed 23-Oct-19 08:44:28

Are you sure? I always get a migraine a couple of days before my period so thought that meant for definite it was unsuccessful.

shazzz1xx Wed 23-Oct-19 11:46:40

I’d just test.. if icsi has worked it would be a positive pregnancy test by now.. last year I tested 7 days after transfers and it was positive

Go buy a clear blue with the weeks window and I liked the pink first response ones too... good luck hope it’s a bfp x

Kirmcd Wed 23-Oct-19 15:51:58

Unfortunately it was negative! 😢😢I’m at a bit of a loss. Devastated.

ViewsAreMine Wed 23-Oct-19 15:59:43

Give it another two days. I failed my first go and had twins at the second attempt.

Flashesofrage Wed 23-Oct-19 16:11:44

Sorry you are going through a terrible time flowers

In the longer term think about what you want most in life. If it’s a baby even if you’re raising it alone then your choices will be different than if it’s your bf even if you can’t both have a biological child.

My experience with this;
When I first suggested monitoring and reducing alcohol, caffeine and boiling hot baths to my husband he was very defensive. He acted like I was policing his life and a bit out of order. He would place the responsibility back on me by asking for permission every time he wanted a drink!

So I sat him down and said I’ve already had to go through surgeries, excruciating procedures and all manner of tests and needles for us to have a baby. If we get pregnant it’s me that won’t be able to eat/drink/do a variety of things for nine months. What sacrifices are you going to make or do you not care?
He absolutely did care do it jolted him out of being a whiney baby because he couldn’t have as much to drink for a year.
I then said I didn’t want to hear anything about his choices or be asked permission for anything, that having to take personal responsibility for it might make him remember the goal 👌

Kirmcd Wed 23-Oct-19 17:23:16

Thank you Can I ask what age you were? I’m 43 next month and feel a bit hopeless at the moment.

Flashesofrage Fri 25-Oct-19 00:30:54

Ah it’s this year and I’m 34! Seems very different to your scenario but actually isn’t as I have low AMH and low follicle count so am diagnosed as “Diminished Ovarian Reserve”.
For us it’s IVF asap if I’m to have any chance. He has pretty great sperm but I didn’t want him to take it for granted and then it is less good when we really need it!

I wish you luck in all your choices. I hope you get the outcomes you want biscuit Don’t be afraid to give him some straight talk! Xx

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